Empathy is oxygen for the soul. Short of breath? Maybe one needs expanded empathy. Get some empathy and expand yours in this seminar. A rigorous and critical empathy says: I know what you feel because I feel it, too, as a vicarious experience, not a merger. It is not as if parents, teachers, doctors, therapists, friends, and neighbors, needed an expert to tell them what empathy is. Ask any parent, teacher, behavioral health professional, and they practice empathy every day, even if they may not always be able to say it out loud. This seminar brings forth what you already know about empathy – what you have already learned since you could not survive without empathy – and expands it with abundant tips, techniques, and real-world transformation in exercising empathy as a power and practice. 

A detailed outline (syllabus) of the seminar, benefits you will obtain by participating, and agreements for participants follow inline. Here is how to register:

Instructions: This is an empathy seminar and it is important to the trainer (teacher) to know who are the participants in order to create a context of acceptance and understanding in which empathy – especially your empathy – may come forth and expand. Therefore, please be patient and fill out all the information requested so I may provide the participants with the empathy they require to grow their own empathy. This is a long form, so keep scrolling, and if you have any questions, please send me an email with ETLS in the subject line. I am responsive. Sincerely, LouAgosta@gmail.com [Lou Agosta, PhD (ETLS Trainer)]

PS Some clients have noted slow response (latency) in this FORM – we (and WordPress) thank you for your patience.

Choose the entire ten (10) sessions or make a selection

If not registering for the complete seminar, make a selection: At $50 a session, I choose to register for the following individual sessions 

Payment Instructions: How to Pay: Payment Information

(1) Zelle Bank-to-bank transfer is preferred:

Zelle identity: LAgosta@uchicago.edu / 773 203 0269 / Alleingang Inc [company name shows up in the account]

(2) Venmo user name = @lagosta1020 / phone = 773-203-0269

(3) Paypal user name = @LouAgostaEmpathy or go to URL: paypal.me/LouAgostaEmpathy

(4) Do NOT enter credit or payment card data in this form. It is not secure in that way.

Send payment or credit card info and Permission to Charge Card using a secure encrypted app such as WHATSAPP where my id = +1 773 203 0269 with your name and for what course you are registering

Empathy Lessons Training Seminar Syllabus Outline – this is the outline of the seminar

Empathy Lessons Training Seminar (ETLS)

Empathy is oxygen for the soul. Short of breath? Maybe one needs expanded empathy. Get some in this seminar: I know what you feel because I feel it, too, as a vicarious experience, not a merger. It is not as if parents, teachers, doctors, therapists, friends, and neighbors, needed an expert to tell them what empathy is. Ask any parent, teacher, behavioral health professional, and they practice empathy every day, even if they may work on how explicitly to bring forth what they know. This seminar brings forth what you already know about empathy – and expands it with abundant tips, techniques, and real-world transformation in exercising empathy as a power and practice. 

Seminar Syllabus Outline:

Session One: The one-minute empathy training. 

Talking points:

• Personal note: The beginning of my empathy training     
• The multi-dimensional definition of empathy       
• Empathic receptivity and vicarious experience                    
• Empathic understanding—understanding of possibility     
• Where there is “mind reading” there is “mind misreading”
• The folk interpretation of empathy: Top-down empathy     
• There is enough empathy to go around, even though it

does not seem that way on most days. Why is that?

Session Two: Empathy and brain science – this is your brain on empathy 

Talking points:

• Mirror neurons – what are those?                                          
• Stress and inflammation: Some is good, too much is not
• Social stress enters the body through the immune system  
• Connecting the dots: stress and inflammation                      
• Connecting the dots: anti-inflammation and empathy         
• Empathy as a “Miracle drug”
• Empathy is a spa treatment for the soul

Session Three: Empathy breakdowns and introspection 

Talking points:

• Emotional contagion is failed empathy                              
• The analogy of optical illusions with empathy breakdowns     
• Empathic receptivity breaks down as emotional contagion    
• Empathic understanding breaks down as conformity
• Empathic interpretation breaks down as projection               
• Empathic response breaks down and gets “lost in translation”       
• Introspection is the royal road to empathy; be introspective

Session Four: Resistance to empathy

Talking points:

• Overcome resistance to empathy, and empathy expands
• Train and develop empathy by overcoming the obstacles to

empathy

• “Listen from possibility” rather than listening from a

“position X”:

• Distinguish between what happened and what one made

it mean

• Empathy is a tuner or dial, not an “on-off” switch
• Empathy is a method of data gathering about the other

person:

• Be generous with acknowledgement

Session Five: The Secret underground history of empathy

Talking points:

The distinction “empathy” was a part of sympathy, fellow feeling, vicarious feeling, communicability of affect in aesthetics and art history, and storytelling is discussed through different methods of inquiry. The session includes short selections from the philosophers, phenomenologists, and psychoanalysts 

• David Hume, 
• Immanuel Kant, 
• Theodor Lipps, 
• Sigmund Freud, 
• Heinz Kohut, 
• Husserl/Edith Stein, 
• Max Scheler

Session Six: Empathy and story telling

Talking points:

And, yes, we are going to tell some stories.

• The “Natural Empath”: Caught between nature and nurture   
• The Good Samaritan meets the Natural Empath

Example of empathy from World Literature including

• Toni Morrison
• George Eliot (Marion Evans)
• Thomas Mann
• Albert Camus
• Goethe                                                                                                                                   

Session Seven: Empathy and boundary setting

Talking points:

• Get your power back through empathy
• Establish and maintain firm boundaries between the self

and Other in relating empathically, but practice being inclusive:

• Empathy deescalates anger and rage:
• Empathy is the ultimate anti-bullying anti-dote – 
• When (why) empathy doesn’t work with bullies, psychopaths, and the criminally insane – and what to do about it
• Empathy is closely related to humor
• Empathy lessons are everywhere

Session Eight: Review of the literature that empathy is good for one’s health and well being

Talking points:

• Empathy is trainable – practice, you get better at it
• The empathy exams
• What counts as evidence that empathy works?                         
• Evidence-based empathy
• Jumping out of an airplane – be sure to wear a parachute         
• Common factor, empathy, in social healing practices                 

Session Nine: Speaking truth to power – rhetorical empathy in politics

Talking points:

• Truth versus politics
• The first instance of fake news—ever                                
• Empathic receptivity soothes anger and rage                        
• Empathic understanding discloses political vision                
• Empathic interpretation engages intractable problems        
• Rhetorical empathy: Empathic responsiveness                     
• Malcolm-X’s rhetorical empathy                                            
• John Stuart Mill’s rhetorical empathy                                    
• Governor Altgeld’s rhetorical empathy                                  
• Ronald Regan’s rhetorical empathy                                       
• Lincoln’s rhetorical empathy                                                 

Session Ten: Empathy is the new love – examining love through the lens of empathy

Talking points: So If empathy is the new love, what then was the old love?

• Defining Our Terms: Love and Empathy                            
• Empathy and love have characteristic breakdowns         
• The unbearable lightness of empathy                                
• Design defects of the male brain                                         
• Women and men want the same things—but differ in priority           
• The desire of desire                                                              
• The Positive Aspects of Love as Empathic Relatedness    
• From Death in Venice (a story) to Empathy in Venice
  Love as a boundary issue: Empathy as a soothing balm
  
  [end of ETLS syllabus]
                       

Top Benefits of the Empathy Lessons Training Seminar – these are the benefits

The answer is empathy – so what’s the question? Stress pushes people down into survival. People stress other people, being difficult to deal with at home, on the job, in school, or at leisure with friends. In the Empathy Lessons Training Seminar (ELTS) the participants get an opportunity to engage directly the obstacles that stopping them from getting the empathy. Participants acquire the empathic responsiveness needed to experience satisfaction in relationships of all kinds, personal and professional. Participants overcome the obstacles to effective relationships and shift out of survival mode and into empathic responsiveness in which fulfillment and satisfaction occur that did not previously seem possible. 

The top benefits of the empathy lessons training seminar that the participant will receive include expanded empathy and – 

1. reduced conflict in one’s life and one’s organization, reducing dignity violations, shame, and related anger and rage

2. expanded power and freedom in the face of resistance, no agreement, or bullying

3. reduced time to results in personal and professional projects, expanding teamwork 

4. expanded listening one other individuals and to oneself

5. expanded results in personal relationships 

6. reduced compassion fatigue, burnout, professional cynicism or denial  

7. expanded cooperation in one’s personal and professional relations, increasing satisfaction with one’s individual and organizational goals

8. the ability to be with another person no matter how difficult an individual

9. the ability to distinguish what happened from what one made it mean

10. ability to like people and be with people regardless of background 

11. distinguishing empathy effectively from compassion, altruism, and charity (they are not the same!)

12. the ability to recognize and acknowledge the humanness in oneself and others even in extreme situations

13. the ability to set boundaries in relatedness and navigate boundaries with finesse and skill – for example, in dealing with bullies

14. the ability to shift your empathy from being an “on off” switch to being a rheostat that dials empathy up and down as a filter

15. expanded humor, creativity, appreciation of art, and wisdom – all closely related to empathy – relationships, teamwork, and leadership

Also note:

Participants will get the most value from attending all the sessions. However, for those with scheduling challenges, it is not required to attend every session because every session (except the first) contains a short upfront review of terms and what the participant needs to know to get value from the work.  

The Empathy Lessons Training Seminar [ELTS] may be delivered as a stand-alone ten session class for participants who register individually. Alternatively, the ELTS may be delivered as part of an empathy consulting engagement. The organization’s team members are separately interviewed, confidential feedback aggregated anonymously and presented to the leadership, and group work on problem solving, conflict resolutions, issue handling, proceeds in parallel with large group work and small group breakout sessions under the guidance of the organization’s leadership. 

The benefits of the ELTS are most available to participants who attend all the sessions. People may selectively attend one or more session and still obtain significant benefit. Naturally, attending more sessions will result in expanded benefits. Whatever you do you are going to get empathy, and, no surprises here, you get out of it what you put into it.

Empathy Lessons Training Seminar (ELTS) Agreements

The Empathy Training Seminar (ELTS) is delivered through Alleingang, Inc., an Illinois Chapter C corporation, Lou Agosta, PhD, President, responsible for providing diverse services in education, consulting, and publishing. The trainer is Lou Agosta. The participants are the individuals who sign up, pay the fee, and attend the training.

The ELTS is a ten session, structured conversation designed to expand empathy in the participant and in the community. The ELTS occurs as a two-hour session for ten weeks for a total of some twenty hours. 

The ELTS training material distributed to the participants is copy-righted material and the conversations that occurs in the seminar are confidential and for the personal use of the participants. It may not be recorded, copied, taped or otherwise captured to electronic media. Any notes taken by the participants are only for the personal use of the participants and may not be published, sold, or otherwise redistributed under any circumstances. 

The ELTS is committed to creating an environment where people have the freedom to express themselves and participate without restrictions. Therefore, the ELTS requests that you keep the names and details of what people say in the ELTS confidential. Participants will be separately asked to sign a document in which the person agrees to keep the names and details of what people say in the ELTS confidential, and such signature is a requirement for participating in the ELTS.

Every participant must read, understand, and sign this “Empathy Lessons Training Seminar Agreement” in sufficient time ahead of the ELTS for the trainer (at least 48 hours in advance of his or her participation) to read and assimilate the participant’s goal for the training. 

While the vast majority of participants find the ELTS to be a rewarding and fulfilling experience that expands the participant’s appreciation and practice of empathy, the possibility exists that the participant may confront upsetting or disturbing feelings or ideas in his or her own experience or that expressed by other participants. The participant acknowledges that the participant is responsible for the participant’s own health and well-being at all times. If the participant has doubt about being able to handle the ELTS, then the participant should request clarification from the trainer before signing below. If the participant has doubt about being able to handle the ELTS do not enroll/register in it. In the course of the ELTS if the participant feels that the participant is unable to continue, then the participant is free to stand up, hand in his name tag, and leave. The participant agrees to hold harmless the ELTS trainer, and Alleingang, Inc. for any feelings, thoughts, experiences, or behaviors in the participants own experience or that of any other, fellow participant in the ELTS.

The individual participants have chosen to participate in the seminar and are asked to sign this agreement acknowledging their participation. If the participant has any questions about the participant’s ability to be responsible for the participant’s own well-being, then the ELTS strongly recommends that you do not participate in the ELTS. If appropriate for the participant, constant a physician or mental health professional prior to participating. If the individual does choose to participate and experiences any difficult during or after the seminar, immediately inform the ETS Leader (during) or Alleingang, Inc. (Lou Agosta 773-203-0269) (after).

The payer understands and acknowledges by signing below that the ELTS may require the participant to listen to, consider and, if he or she chooses to do so, discuss confronting and difficult personal matters, including but not limited to participant’s own behavior, blind spots, and thoughts regarding empathy and the practice of empathy.

The participant fee is not refundable. Either party shall not be liable for, and is excused from, any failure to perform or delay in the performance of its obligations under this Agreement due to causes beyond its control, including without limitation, interruptions of power or telecommunications services, failure or its suppliers or subcontractors, acts or nature, governmental actions, fire, flood, natural disaster or labor dispute. No failure of either party to pursue any remedy resulting from a breach in this Agreement by the other party shall be construed as a waiver of that breach, nor as a waiver of any subsequent or other breach unless such waiver is signed and in writing.

In the event any provision of this Agreement shall be invalid, illegal or enforceable in any respect, such a provision shall be considered separate and severable from the remaining provisions of this Agreement, and the validity, legality or enforceability of any of the remaining provisions of this Agreement shall not be affected of impaired by such provision in any way.

The participant is required to be present in the room at all times, except for reasonable bathroom and meal breaks. While the vast majority of participants find the ETS to be a rewarding and fulfilling experience, if the participant decides that the ELTS is not a good fit for his or her needs, or if the participant decides that he does not feel well or his well being is at risk for any reason, even after reading and signing the agreement, the participant may stand up, hand in his name tag, and leave at any time. The payor shall not be entitled to a refund of any kind of a participant chooses to do so. 

In the event of an act of God or war or civil insurrection (for example, a tornado, or storm such as a blizzard that dumps snow in such a way as to make travel impossible or highly dangerous or the hospitalization or death of the trainer) both parties agree to make every reasonable effort to reschedule the training at a mutually agreement time and location. 

Consistent with good business practices and current law, Alleingang, Inc. does not tolerate sexual harassment or other forms of harassment in any of our training programs or events. If you have any questions about our policies regarding sexual or other forms of harassment, please contact Lou Agosta (773-203-0269).

The participant hereby agrees to:

• To be on time for my sessions as scheduled

• To discuss and say what is on my mind and what is going on in my life without editing or holding back – to just tell the truth 

• Same idea as above – to be straight about what I am thinking and feeling – regardless of its significance or lack of significance to me or even if seems embarrassing or trivial

• If I have an emergency (for example, serious illness, life event, two feet of snow), then I will communicate as soon as I know about it

• If I have a complaint, concern, or issue with the empathy consultant or with the process of consulting, then I will come into my session and talk about it to resolve it

• I understand that on occasion empathy consulting requires me to consider and discuss confronting and difficult personal matters, including but not limited to my own behavior, blind spots, and thoughts 

• To pay the fee agreed upon for the ELTS with the 
  understanding that it is nonrefundable

• To pay the fee agreed upon for the ELTS with the understanding that it is nonrefundable, though in the event of an authentic emergency a reasonable effort will be made to include the participant in a similar (“substitute”) future session

• To be responsible for my health and well-being at all times, in participating in this work

I acknowledge that our conversation and the ELTS are confidential and have received this written statement of confidentiality. Exceptions to confidentiality include [but are not limited to] if the trainer believes the participant is hurting or plans to hurt her- or himself or another person, for example, requiring summoning emergency [911] services. Then confidentiality would not apply.