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Conclusion (Part 3): Empathy as Spa Treatment for the Soul – Connecting the Dots
Connecting the dots: stress and inflammation
Chronic inflammation is associated with auto-immune disorders such as asthma, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), metabolic disorders, and allergies with which many people struggle, thereby finding their vitality reduced. People sometimes respond to these disorders by engaging in proper self-care, daily exercise, and well-balance diets. People also respond by engaging in self-defeating behaviors. People try to self-medicate with alcohol. They try to regulate and regain their emotional equilibrium in the face of social stressors by acting out in way that sabotage their own long-term well-being.
Lack of exercise and poor nutritional choices along with excessive use of alcohol, street drugs, gambling, sexual misadventures, binging, and chronic subclinical sadness belong on the list of self-defeating behavioral reactions.
The bottom line? When people practice healthy responses, not self-defeating ones, the body mobilizes and applies its infection fighting responses to social stressors, even though the latter are not infections. This makes considerable sense if one considers that an adaptive response to overwhelming social stress is to withdraw from the conflict and retreat to “sickness behavior.” The stressed-out individual retreats and avoids the stressful situation. The body makes one do this as a survival mechanism, getting out of a situation perceived to be “no win,” even if one’s stubbornness of spirit would make one willing to fight on. Never was it truer, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
The socially defeated person nurses his emotional wounds, as noted, by going to bed, with reduced appetite, lower energy, less enjoyment, less attention, and a need for sleep. The person finds his emotional and physical resource depleted. He takes to his “nest” to recover; and here is the punch line: The person acts depressed.
Additional evidence of the link between inflammation and symptoms of depression comes from modern cancer treatments.[i] Cancer treatments target tumors and cancerous processes by means of interventions that simulate immune systems reactions. These reactions use the above-cited cytokines called “interleukon” and “interferon.” One result of the cancer treatments that surprised cancer doctors is that patients receiving such interventioilns succumbed to depression. They satisfied clinical criteria for major depression disorder (MDD).
Note that the person receiving the treatment was not depressed beforehand. The person was not depressed because they have cancer, which can indeed be a “depressing” thing. No, the depression occurs even in people who have a positive attitude and are energetically fighting the disease, who otherwise feel okay emotionally. The symptoms of depression are evidentially a side effect of the treatment (albeit one which is not as toxic as the cancer itself). As a further confirmation of this, the side-effect yields to pharmacological treatments of depression such as antidepressants, and the person regains their standard non-depressed outlook once the cancer treatment is finished.
Psychologists Suzanne Segerstrom and Gregory Miller demonstrate that the immune system is not as autonomous as it was once thought to be.[ii] The immune system provides a pathway for the environment to influence the regulation of genes. Note that to be fully buzzword compliant “epigenesis” is the process by which the environment influences the regulation of the biologically given set of genes with which the person is endowed at birth.
Popular biological wisdom is that a person’s genes are like a set of cards in a “no draw” game of poker that one is dealt at the beginning. You play the hand you are dealt without being able to exchange any cards. Even if you don’t like a card you are dealt, you cannot change it. On the contrary, the approach of epigenesis says, “Yes, you still have to play the hand you are dealt, but you get to exchange a couple of cards,” based on interacting with the environment.
The physical and social environments do not just cause occasional, rare random mutations on genes; the environments are critical in activating or deactivating existing genes to produce diverse expressions of our biological capabilities, our biological selves. In short, the interaction is two-way, both from the genes to the organism and from the organism and its environment to the genes (or more properly speaking, the “genome,” the set of genes that includes all the genetic material governing the organism’s survival). Now add the stresses of the social environment to the physical mix of stressors.
According to Segerstrom and Miller, the immune system responds to signals from the body’s nervous system and the endocrine system. The immune system is modifiable and responds to the signals of cytokines and macrophages as they produce antibodies to fight bacterial diseases. This is where things get interesting.
Environmental stressors, to which the nervous system and endocrine system respond, elicit responses from the immune system by way of activation of genetic mechanisms that, in turn, perform protein synthesis, a major path by which the organism responds and attempts to maintain its equilibrium and well-being.
Strictly speaking, stress affects the immune system in at least two ways. Stress does not always reduce immunity. It tends to reduce—“down regulate” is the term of art—the anti-viral response (viruses being a different form of attack than bacteria); and it tends to “up regulate” the response to wounds and bacterial infection. Due to the production of inflammatory substances designed to combat a bacterial infection (which bacteria does not exist in the scenario of chronic social stress), the individual becomes vulnerable to life style and autoimmune disorders.
Subclinical physical problems tend to get emotionally and psychically elaborated in notoriously difficult to manage inflammations that manifest themselves as head aches, irritable bowel, asthma, allergies, lower back pain, and so on.
The best defense is often a good offense. Apparently the immune system agrees. Whether due to the haphazard design of the immune system or a defect in encoding the symbolic threat, the immune system counter-attacks against stress as if it were an all out attack by an infectious agent or wound.
In the case of chronic stress, the side effects of the counter-attack are inflammation. When the stress is chronic, the inflammation becomes chronic, too. This is the situation of many contemporary, stressed out individuals, struggling to survive modern life. The resulting “gotcha” is that many chronic stressors are largely symbolic. The stressed out person is not threatened by physical danger. The outcome is commonly observed: people who are chronically “stressed out” tend to get more colds and flu due to the down regulation of the anti-viral response.
The cytokine theory of depression shows us some of the diverse ways by which people express their stress and suffering. The cytokine theory of depression indicates that people express their chronic stress by displaying “sickness behavior.”
How does it work, and what to do about it?
Under standards conditions of moderate stress, the body regulates its own inflammatory activity. The neuroendocrine system regulates the body’s response to stressors. Substances called steroids—“glucocorticoids”—are released to balance and limit the inflammatory action. However, in chronic stress the process of regulation goes astray.
The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis is a major part of the neuroendocrine system. This set of functions is a part of the lower brain stem. It regulates the body’s reaction to external stressors by providing energy and focusing attention. (Granted, the adrenal glands are not located in the brain, but interact with it.) The HPA axis gets activated to release these and related steriods.
However, under chronic stress, the glucocorticoid receptors seem to get fatigued. In effect, the receptors get “stressed out.” They become less responsive when they are under chronic stress, constantly being over-stimulated, in a process that is not well understood. This phenomenon is called “glucocorticoid insensitivity.”
For example and as near as we can tell, Slavich and Cole report that steriod—“glucocorticoid”—receptors typically act to “turn down” the production of inflammation-related substances. However, during chronic psychosocial stress or actual threat, glucocorticoid receptors fail to “down regulate” the glucocorticoid responsive genes the way they are supposed to do so. This is in spite of the glucocorticoid levels being either normal or elevated.[iii] They stop working or are no longer effective in countering inflammation.
Further confirming this troubling outcome, a correlation was found between immune function and cortisol levels in depressed patients.[iv]The result is the sickness behavior that we have been describing as the body’s inflammatory response is prolonged.
Notice that these steriods then become an indicator—a “bio marker” to use the technical term—of stress. In fact, the steriods are anti-inflammatory and anti-stress; but the body has stopped responding to them; and so they continue to “float around” in the organism, getting correlated with stress without functioning effectively as the anti-inflammatory substance that they are supposed to be. This is something that the popular treatment of cortico-steriods has sometimes gotten mixed up.
For example, in an otherwise penetrating and incisive treatment of stress, Arthur Ciaramicoli describes cortisol as a stress hormone. Cortisol is a villain in this narrative, and stress reducing or promoting activities are narratively associated with its departure or arrival. “Correlation is not causation” strikes again. Nevertheless, his conclusions about the value of dialing up empathy and dialing down negative self-talk through understanding and empathic responsiveness remains valid. The initiative to “wrapper” the skills training and tips and techniques of CBT in an empathic cacoon is a worthy one. [v]
In “stressed out” people, steriods as a group (including cortisol) are anti-inflammatory hormones that are not working as designed. The idea is that body was never designed to deal with chronic social stress as it occurs in modern, technological society, and further innovations or simplifications are needed to overcome the challenge of responding to the stress.
The meta-analysis of some 30 years of research by Segerstrom and Miller reports a significant association of depression (and chronic inflammation) with coronary heart disease, rheumatoid arthritis, stroke and other diseases where macrophage activation occurs. The authors account for the 3:1 female/male incidence of depression ratio by estrogen’s ability to activate macrophages; and the relatively low rate of depression in Japan as consistent with the suppressive effect of fatty acids and fish oil on macrophages.[vi]
According to Segerstrom and Miller’s interpretation, “depression” is a redescription of “inflammation.” If you are depressed, you need anti-inflammatory intervention.
A major depressive disorder involves real suffering, and in no way does one want to make light of such suffering. Nevertheless, the “out of the box” redescription cited-above suggests that you are not really depressed, you just have an inflammation. Aspirin is an anti-inflammatory. Therefore: “Take two aspirin and call in the morning.” Pause for a laugh. This unsubtle joke, which you must admit is suitable for polite company, made many of my MD colleagues laugh out loud; and it points to the reason why this approach to depression has not received more attention, though it has been validated and available since at least the mid-1990s:[vii]
- It would mean having to develop an entire class of anti-inflammatory antidepressants, which, in turn, would potentially undercut the vast existing market of antidepressants, especially selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) (of which the “poster child” is Prozac).
- It is by no means clear that such development of a new class of drugs would be feasible or (more to the point) profitable.
- Alternative interventions already exist that reduce stress and inflammation—and empathy is towards the top of the list of those.
We take a step back and note that, with the publication of Peter Kramer’s Listening to Prozac (1991), pharmacological interventions for depression knocked the legs out from under all forms of talk therapy.
Even if SSRIs (such as Prozac (the brand name for fluoxetine)) have not lived up to their initial, exaggerated promise, the economics of current medical system prescribing prefers fifteen-minute medication management sessions over forty five minute conversations for insight and possibility.
The reimbursement system is adhering to this assessment even in the face of the hard-to-quantify trade-offs between quality and quantity.
The conversation about evidence-based treatment is stuck in a loop of an either/or preference for medication over conversation. Evidence is available for the efficacy of each in sometime diverging, sometimes overlapping contexts. The economics of talk therapy, even CBT, are under-privileged and marginalized by many insurance payers and their practitioners.
This raises the engaging question of how SSRIs intersect with those depressed individuals, whose biomarkers show increased pro-inflammatory immune response and related increases in glucocorticoid resistance, matching the previously described effects of major depressive disorder.
As this book goes to press [Q1 2018], results are inconclusive. High blood serum levels of serotonin are completely consistent with high biomarkers for inflammation and vice versa. One likely possibility, though speculative, is that “major depression” is not a natural category; and one can obtain the symptoms of major depression defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (any version) by multiple molecular pathways.
Once again, it is speculation, but just as scientific advances are showing that cancer is not a single disease at the molecular level, so too depression may well turn out to be multi-dimensional and not a single disorder. Nevertheless, this brings us back to the question; People are stressed out—suffering—what do we do about it?
Connecting the dots: anti-inflammation and empathy
This just in. The patients of medical doctors who score well on tests for empathy have superior control over their “bad” cholesterol in comparison with those who score less well. (In fact, this is not “just in,” but was published in 2011 as indicated in the next end note.)
M. Hojat and his colleagues found that patients of physicians with high empathy scores were significantly more likely to have good control of hemoglobin A1c (56%)—a bio-marker for diabetes—than were patients of physicians with low empathy scores (40%, P .001).
In addition, Hojat reported that the proportion of patients with good control over low density lipid cholesterol (LDL-C)—the so-called “bad” cholesterol—was significantly higher for physicians with high empathy scores (59%) than physicians with low scores (44%, P < .001).[viii]Hojat also reported that the physician’s empathy had a unique contribution to the prediction of optimal clinical outcomes even after controlling for the physician’s and patient’s gender and age, and the patient’s health insurance.
Thus, anti-inflammatory interventions exist that have been shown to make a difference in controlled experiments, evidence-based research, and peer-reviewed publications. Empathy is at the top of the list.
This bear repeating: empathy is at the top of the list, but is not the only thing on it. Spiritual practices such as Yoga, Tai Chi, mindfulness (meditation), also are on the list. These are not reducible to empathy (or vice versa), but they share a common factor: an outcome of reduced inflammation.
Stress reduction practices such as receiving empathy from one’s doctor put the person in touch with her or his immediate experience. They promote the person experiencing life without anything added, without filters, without labels and categories. And in specific cases (cited below), they can be shown in evidence-based studies to reduce the bio markers of stress and stress-related life style disorders such as high cholesterol, diabetes type 2, and so on. People tend to feel better, perform better, enjoy expanded vitality in conjunction with these practices. Therefore, we shall cast a wide net in gathering reminders as to how to reduce stress in such a way that the stress reduction practices gets inside the body and make a difference.
The empathy lesson? Peer-reviewed research studies have provided an evidence-based link between practitioners who deliver empathy to their patients and favorable healthcare outcomes. What is interesting is that these evidence-based studies exclude psychiatric disorders and emphasize outcomes for life style disorders such as reduced cholesterol and type 2 diabetes in order better to isolate and control the empathic input to the process, which is otherwise so pervasive in a psychiatric context.
A separate study by Del Canale and colleagues showed that physicians with high empathy scores had patients with significantly fewer metabolic complications from diabetes.[ix]
The study concluded that these results indicate physician empathy is significantly associated with clinical outcome for patients with diabetes mellitus and should be considered an important component of clinical competence. It gets better—for empathy. These are not just “one off” studies. A meta-study of healthcare outcomes across all kinds of doctor visits, in which objective measures such as blood pressure were available, indicated a significant correlation between empathy and favorable outcomes.
In the meta-study, John Kelly and his colleagues, including Helen Riess, report on empathy publications of randomized control trials (RCTs) in adult patients. In these RCTs, the patient-clinician relationship was systematically manipulated and healthcare outcomes were either objective (e.g., blood pressure) or validated subjective measures (e.g., pain scores). A broad and diverse variety of disorders were engaged empathically. Disorders studied included patients with diabetes, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, lower respiratory infection, oncology, osteoarthritis, hypertension, smoking, somatic complaints, and asthma. The median patient sample size was 279 (range: 85 to 7,557).
The researchers acknowledge that they cannot be sure if, in the context of empathic medical practice, the favorable outcome is due to improved compliance with physician guidance, patient motivation to take action to recover well-being, education, the self-healing properties of the body under reduced stress (my favorite interpretation), or (mostly likely) a combination of factors. On the one hand, further research is needed; on the other, results are results. Once again, correlation points to a significant path to improved outcome through empathic treatment, but is not causation.
With that caution in mind, empathy has been shown to correlate with reduced duration of the common cold. Now no one is saying that empathy is the cure for the common cold; but the results are definitely suggestive of the healing powers of stress reduction: “In those physicians with perfect CARE scores (Consultation and Relational Empathy), cold durations were shorter (mean 7.10 days versus 8.01 days) [….] In these models, a perfect score also correlates with a larger increase in IL-8 [(interleukin 8) a cytokine] levels.”[x] That is, the immune response was increased.
The researchers further engaged and evaluated immune response by measuring concentration of interleukin 8 (IL-8) from nasal wash specimens at enrollment and at a follow-up visit some 48 hours later. IL-8 is an inflammatory cytokine found in nasal secretions. It increases with viral upper respiratory infection. It is reportedly one of the best, single markers of immune response for upper respiratory infections acquired in a community setting; it correlates well with symptoms; and is reliably measured. If we look carefully, we can see the hype in the media and press coming into view
The researchers concluded that empathy, as perceived by patients having a common cold, significantly predicts subsequent duration and severity of illness and is associated with immune system changes. My conclusion? Do not under-estimate the healing powers of empathy!
However, empathy is not the only intervention that correlates with improved results. Other practices such as meditation (mindfulness), sitting, yogic meditation, and Tai Chi produce a similar result. Several paths are available to stress reduction. We look at these alternative paths.
For example, W. W. Thaddeus Pace and his colleagues at Emory University report that meditation practices impact physiological pathways, including the immune and neuroendocrine systems, which are regulated by stress and are relevant to diverse diseases.[xi] How could they possibly know? The researchers divided people into meditators and non-meditators for testing. The researchers took blood (plasma) samples, and reported the results.
In plain English, the bio-markers of stress went down significantly for those engaging in meditating compassionately, thinking kind thoughts and thinking charitable thoughts. The researchers report that physiologic and behavioral responses to the tier social stress test (TSST) were determined by repeated assessments of plasma concentrations of interleukin (IL-6) and cortisol as well as total distress scores on the Profile of Mood States (POMS). For the meditating group, increased meditation practice was correlated with decreased IL-6 and improved distress scores. More evidence proving common sense? Individuals who meditated more enjoyed proportionally reduced stress.
The researchers cautiously conclude that engagement in compassion meditation (thinking kind thoughts, being charitable in one’s thoughts) may reduce stress-induced immune and behavioral responses. Once again, empathy and compassion are distinct; but both get one in touch with one’s own experience in such a way that one is accepting of whatever it is that one is experiencing, thereby reducing conflict and enabling the spontaneous stress reduction process to get traction.
Family members and care-takers that provide support and care for people with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia are vulnerable to a variety of stress-related disorders. Providing such care is extremely stressful for many reasons, including the inability of the patient to acknowledge the contribution of the care-taker and the destructive nature of the disease (i.e., the frequent absence of an empathic response). David Black and his colleagues Steve Cole and Michael Irwin (and others) at the University of California, Los Angeles, reported that dementia caregivers who practice meditation show improvement in their own mental health indices such as depression and anxiety, which are indices associated with inflammatory markers such as IL-6. [xii]
Black and Cole investigated if yogic meditation changes the activity of inflammatory and antiviral pathways that shape gene-mediated immune system response. Forty-five family dementia caregivers were randomized either to Kirtan Kriya Meditation (KKM) or Relaxing Music (RM) listening for 12 minutes daily for 8 weeks and 39 caregivers completed the study. Genome-wide transcriptional profiles were collected from peripheral blood leukocytes sampled at baseline and 8-week follow-up.
Without going into the wealth of details provided here, the researchers identified a reversal of patterns previously linked to stress. Their study concluded that a brief daily yogic meditation intervention reverses the pattern of increased pro-inflammatory cytokines and decreases antiviral response genes previously observed in healthy individuals confronting a significant life stressor.
Eight weeks of structured yogic meditation reversed patterns of increased pro-inflammatory genes and decreased genes previously associated in healthy individuals with reduced inflammation. Meditating reduces stress and enhances immunity.
The authors generalized that adverse life events such as “social isolation, imminent bereavement, PTSD, chronic loneliness, social stress, and low socioeconomic status” increased inflammation-related gene activation and decreased the activity of innate antiviral genes. Once again, meditating reduces stress and enhances immunity.
Michael Irwin and Richard Olmstead reported on the stress reducing properties of Tai Chi Chin ((TCC) a “soft” Chinese martial art that practices continuous, slow motion flowing movements). The researchers describe TCC as a behavioral intervention. Practicing it daily reduces circulating levels of inflammatory bio-markers (interleukon-6 (IL-6)) in older adults (the target population in the study). These individuals are frequently at risk for inflammation-related illness. The researchers note that their findings are consistent with high rates of depressive disorders in persons with inflammatory disorders. They cite evidence that experimental activation of inflammatory signaling induces feelings of social withdrawal, depressed mood, and anhedonia. The researchers cautiously report that circulating levels of inflammatory markers rise with age even in healthy individuals, and the proportion of persons with elevated levels of IL-6 rises markedly among persons older than seventy years, increasing the risk of inflammation related disorders (e.g. cardiovascular disease and heart failure, cancer, Alzheimer’s, related neurodegenerative diseases, metabolic alterations, and diabetes). [xiii]
Generalizing on this research, a small set of practices such as receiving empathy, meditation (mindfulness), yogic meditation, and Tai Chi, promote well-being by reducing inflammation. These practices are not reducible to empathy (or vice versa), but they all share one single, common factor: reduced inflammation. These anti-inflammatory interventions have been shown to make a profound difference in controlled experiments, evidence-based research, and peer-reviewed publications. Empathy is at the top of my list, but is not the only item on it. Empathy along with mindfulness (a form of meditation), Yoga, Tai Chi, spending time in a sensory deprivation tank (not otherwise discussed here), and certain naturally occurring steroids, need to be better known as interventions that reduce inflammation and restore homeostatic equilibrium to the body according to evidence based research.[xiv]
In summary, when bacteria attack the human body, the body’s immune system mounts an inflammatory defense that sends macrophages to the site of the attack and causes “sickness behavior” in the person. The infected person takes to bed, sleeps either too much or too little, has no appetite (or too much appetite), experiences low energy, possibly has a fever, including the “blahs,” body aches, and flu-like symptoms. This response has evolved over millions of years, and is basically healthy as the body conserves its energy and fights off the infection using its natural immune response.
Now fast forward to modern times. This natural response did not envision the stresses of modern life back when we were short stature, proto-humanoids inhabiting the Serengeti Plain and defending ourselves against large predators. Basically, the body responds in the same way to the chronic stressors of modern life—the boss at work is a bully, the mortgage is over-due, the children are acting out, the spouse is having a midlife crisis—and the result is “sickness behavior”—many of the symptoms of which resemble clinical depression—but there is no infection, just inflammation. The inflammation becomes chronic and the body loses its sensitivity to naturally occurring anti-inflammatory hormones, which would ordinarily kick in to “down regulate” the inflammation after a few days. Peer reviewed papers demonstrate that interventions such as empathy reduce biological markers of inflammation and restore equilibrium. This is also a metaphor, though not merely that. When an angry—“inflamed”—person is listened to empathically—is given a “good listening” as I like to say—the person frequently calms down and regains his equilibrium. Empathy migrates onto the short list of inflammation reducing interventions. The compelling conclusion is that empathy is good for your well-being.
Miracle drug
This entire blog post might have been entitled “Miracle Drug,” except that I have been “scooped” by Stephen Trzeciak, MD, and Anthony Mazzarelli, MD, in their similarly titled Wonder Drug.[xv] The rhetorical trick is that the reader is expecting to hear about a “breakthrough” psychopharmaceutical product such as Peter Kramer’s Listening to Prozac or a so-called third-generation anti-psychotic medication such as aripiprazole (“Abilify”).[xvi] Instead the reader hears about “empathy” and a set of empathically-related phenomena such as compassion, altruism, charitable actions, and being helpful to other people in ways large and small.
The point is that getting a good listening—a description of empathic receptivity—is a powerful intervention and one with significantly fewer side effects than a chemical compound. The point is that, as argued by evidence-based research cited in this blog post, that acts of empathic listening and responsiveness set in motion biological processes that reduce the quantity of stress related chemicals in the body, and do so “naturally,” i.e., without swallowing pills produced by pharmaceutical companies. These entrained biological processes, in turn, have results and outcomes that cause the person to feel better. The person’s vitality, strength, energy, and aliveness are expanded and enhanced. The reasons the person feels better are many, and the reasons vary according to the description that one gives of the intervention. The person feels better because he or she is no longer alone.
The isolation is broken by getting a good listening. The individual feels understood and sees the possibility of accomplishment, purposeful engagement, and getting what he or she wanted where previously there had been isolation and frustration. The person experiences expanded dignity, less emotional conflict, and a certain peace of mind, because the individual gets the recognition and dignity which had been missing in the individual’s life and for which the individual had been hungry. The individual gets empathy and is able to breathe again, because, the individual was being suffocated by stress, and empathy is like a breath of fresh air. Heinz Kohut famously wrote that empathy oxygen for the soul—without empathy in the individual’s life, the person is going to suffocate emotionally and exist without vitality, strength, energy, and aliveness.[xvii]
The person whose upbringing is empathy-deprived is going to experience human relations as being on a negative continuum between an emotional Zombie and a roller-coaster of disregulated emotions and behavior. This already takes matters in the direction of another level of discourse, biology versus interpersonal community, though (as far as I know) Kohut never commented in writing on the neurological, endocrinological, or metabolic aspects of empathy. Empathy and a small set of empathically-related phenomena reduces stress and the chemicals in the blood that cause inflammation. This opens up a different level of description and a different level of experience.
Trezeciak and Mazzarelli cite literally dozens and dozens of evidence-based, peer-reviewed articles, many published since the first edition of this book, that provide evidence that empathy creates a clearing for compassion, altruism, and kindness, and together these produce behavioral medicine that is good for one’s health and well-being.[xviii] And these men are medical doctors! At the risk of over-simplification, the underlying mechanism is stress reduction through reduced presence or production of inflammatory agents generated by the body in the face of life stress.
I hasten to add that there is nothing wrong with consulting with a medical doctor about properly prescribed psychopharmaceutical interventions, indeed it is highly advisable. Heck, if one is really planning on acting on one’s suicidal ideation, one had better take the medicine and live to fight another day. Nevertheless, for numerous less acute encounters with the stresses of everyday life—which can indeed be severe and confronting but nevertheless fall short of major mental illness—signing up for a psychopharmacological intervention can be a deal with the devil. Be sure to read the fine print. Be aware that sometimes the “side effects” are hard to distinguish from the “main action” of the medicine.
The effects of powerful psychopharmacological agents on the nervous systems, the emotions, and behavior are the subject of detailed evidence-based studies, most of which are highly qualified and conditioned, and it is hard, indeed nearly impossible, to generalize. Your mileage may vary, and note well that “all the usual disclaimers apply.” The one, best take-away recommendation that has severed all professionals well across numerous contexts is: “Don’t hurt yourself!”
So when one says that an empathic conversation for possibility is less risky and has fewer side effects than psychotropic chemicals, there is truth to it. By having an empathic conversation for possibility, one does not put a lot of drugs into one’s blood stream, the side effects of which (as the warning label on the package says) may be unpredictable, and the metabolic consequences of which are scientifically studied and approved by large governmental organizations, but of which the adverse events are not ruled out (again, as specified by the long list of warnings on the label). Now, as far as I know, people experience respect, dignity, recognition, acknowledgement, disappointment, insults, not oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, dopamine, or approximately a thousand other neuropeptides. While science can demonstrate the occurrence and influence of such chemicals on mood and behavior—using correlation studies to infer causation—the risk is that the person will casually sacrifice individual autonomy to a medication regimen.
It is a category mistake—a logical error—to imagine that any narrative about the dynamics of neurotransmitters or neurons discharging can provide a meaningful account of human experience of satisfaction or fulfillment in empathically interacting with another human being. It is not that the neurotransmitter account is wrong. On the contrary, at its own level of discourse, it is necessarily an account of the dynamics of neurotransmitters. However, something significant is missing from that account—the relevance of human empathy to community and interpersonal relations.
The power of empathy should not be underestimated in comparison to these overtly chemical interventions. Most empathic conversations between adults occur in language and language is a powerful media. A group of mean teenagers bullied one of their peers into suicide using language and social media. To be sure, the victim was already struggling with low self-esteem, and tragically did not know how to use speech acts to ask for the help needed. However, the point about the power of language is that no chemicals, only language, was required by the bad actors. People speaking to other people use speech acts to motivate the Others to do things that occur on a continuum between inspired and foolish.
In a political context (see Chapter 10 of Lou Agosta, 2024, Empathy Lessons, 2nd Edition, on empathy and politics), written documents such as the Declaration of Independence (1776), the Declaration of the Rights of Man (1789), and the UN Declaration of Human Rights (1948) send fear into the hearts of tyrants everywhere, because they know a single fact, though fragile, is able to counter oceans of political propaganda, which, in turn, is why tyrants and demagogues try to control the news media. Though not about empathy as such, these documents show the power of language in the form of empathic responsiveness and rhetorical empathy[xix] to make a difference in envisioning expanded flourishing in human relations, which is also a goal of empathic relatedness.
[i] Yehuda Pollak and Raz Yirmiya. (2002). Cytokine-induced changes in mood and behaviour: implications for ‘depression due to a general medical condition’, immunotherapy and antidepressive treatment, International Journal of Neuropsychopharmacology, (2002) 5: 389–399. DOI: 10.1017/S14611457020 03152.
[ii] Segerstrom, Suzanne C. and Gregory E. Miller. (2004). Psychological stress and the human immune system: A meta-analytic study of 30 years of inquiry, Psychol Bulletin. 2004 July; 130(4): 601–630.
[iii] George M. Slavich and Steven W. Cole. (2013). The emerging field of human social genomics, Clinical Psychol Science, 2013 Jul 1(3): 331–348.
[iv] Yehuda Pollak and Raz Yirmiya 2002.
[v] Arthur Ciaramicoli. (2016). The Stress Solution: Using Empathy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Novato, CA: New World Library. “CBT” means “cognitive behavioral therapy.”
[vi] Segerstrom and Miller 2004.
[vii] M. Maes. (1995). Evidence for an immune response in major depression: a review and hypothesis, Progress in Neuro-Psychopharmaclogy and Biological Psychiatry 19, 11–38; M. Maes. (1999). Major depression and activation of the inflammatory response system, Advances in Experimental Medicine and Biology 461: 25– 46.
[viii] Mohammadreza Hojat, Daniel Z. Louis, Fred W. Markham, Richard Wender, Carol Rabinowitz, and Joseph S. Gonnella. (2011). Physicians’ empathy and clinical outcomes for diabetic patients, Acad Med. Mar 86(3): 359–64.
DOI: 10.1097ACM.0b013e3182086fe1.
[ix] Louis Del Canale, V. Maio, X Wang, G Rossi, M. Hojat, and J.S. Gonnella. (2012). The relationship between physician empathy and disease complications: an empirical study of primary care physicians and their diabetic patients in Parma, Italy, Academic Medicine, 2012 87(9): 1243–1249.
[x] David P. Rakel, Theresa J. Hoeft, Bruce P. Barrett, Betty A. Chewning, Benjamin M. Craig, and Min Niu. (2009). Practitioner empathy and the duration of the common cold, Family Medicine 41(7): 494–501.
[xi] Thaddeus W.W. Pace, Lobsang Tenzin Negi, Daniel D. Adame, Steven P. Cole, Teresa I. Sivilli, Timothy D. Brown, Michael J. Issa, and Charles L. Raison. (2009). Effect of compassion meditation on neuroendocrine, innate immune and behavioral responses to psychosocial stress, Psychoendocrinology, 2009 Jan 34(1): 87– 98.
[xii] David S. Black, Steve W. Cole, Michael R. Irwin, Elizabeth Breen, Natalie M. St. Cyr, Nora Nazarian, Dharma S. Khalsa, and Helen Lavretsky. (2013). Yogic meditation reverses NF-kB and IRF-related transcriptome dynamics in leukocytes of family dementia caregivers in a randomized controlled trial, Psychoneuroendocrinology, 2013 March 38(3): 348–355.
[xiii] Michael R Irwin and Richard Olmstead. (2012). Mitigating Cellular Inflammation in Older Adults: A Randomized Controlled Trial of Tai Chi Chih, American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 2012 September 20(9): 764–722.
[xiv] M. H. Antoni, Lutgendorf, S. K., and Blomberg, B. (2011). Cognitive-behavioral stress management reverses anxiety-related leukocyte transcriptional dynamics, Biological Psychiatry, 2011, 15: 366–372; David Black, Steve Cole, Michael Irwin et al. (2013); Michael R Irwin and Richard Olmstead, 2012.
[xv] Stephen Trzeciak and Anthony Mazzarelli. (2022). Wonder Drug: 7 Scientifically Proven Ways That serving Others Is the Best Medicine for Yourself. New York: St Martin’s Press.
[xvi] Kramer, Peter. (1993). Listening to Prozac: The Landmark Book about Anti- depressants and the Remaking of the Self. Revised edition. New York: Penguin, 1997. Heinz Kohut. (1977), The Restoration of the Self, International Universities Press: 85, 251.
[xvii] Heinz Kohut, MD. (1977). The Restoration of the Self, International Universities Press: 85, 251.
[xviii] Pace, Thaddeus W.W., Lobsang Tenzin Negi, Daniel D. Adame, Steven P. Cole, Teresa I. Sivilli, Timothy D. Brown, Michael J. Issa, and Charles L. Raison. (2009). Effect of compassion meditation on neuroendocrine, innate immune and behavioral responses to psychosocial stress, Psychoendocrinology, 2009, Jan: 34(1): 87–98; Nelson- Coffey S K, Fritz, M M, Lyubomirsky, S, Cole, S W. (2017). Kindness in the blood: A randomized controlled trial of the gene regulatory impact of prosocial behavior. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2017 July; 81: 8–13; DiSalvo, D. (2009). Forget survival of the Fittest: It is kindness that counts.” Scientific American, Sept 1, 2009; Furman, D, Campisi, J, Berdin, E, et al. (2019). Chronic inflammation in the etiology of disease across the life span. Nat Med. 25 25, 1822–1832 (2019). As I understand matters, the idea that empathic concern creates an opening for altruistic, compassionate action is convincingly argued by C. Danial Batson in a series of experiments including C. Daniel Batson. (2009). These things called empathy Eight related but Distinct Phenomena. In The Social Neuroscience of Empathy, eds. Jean Decety and William Ickes. Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 2009: 3–16.
[xix] On rhetorical empathy see Lisa Blankenship. (2019). Changing the Subject: A Theory of Rhetorical Empathy. Logan UT: Utah State University Press. The reader will also encounter rhetorical empathy in Lou Agosta, 2024, Empathy Lessons, 2nd Edition, Chapter 10: Empathy Application: Rhetorical empathy—speaking truth to power in politics. The counter-intuitive thing about empathic responsiveness is that empathy is usually (and properly) regarding as an attitude of listening, but her the active listening becomes articulate and gives back to the Other what the listener heard in being receptive to the Other’s struggle or accomplishment. The speaking occurs in such a way that it includes the listening of the recipient, in other words, incorporates where the Other is situated affectively, ethically, cognitively, and/or spiritually, depending on the context.
Image credit: William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) – At the Edge of the Brook (1879) thanks to WikiMedia Commons: Pubic Domain
(c) Lou Agosta, PhD, and the Chicago Empathy Project
Part Two: Empathy: Spa Treatment for the Soul: Against Stress
This is Part Two of the series on how empathy relates to reducing stress as a “spa treatment for the soul.” In order to understand empathy as a kind of antidote to stress, it is important to know the enemy – in this case, stress. Therefore, this discussion lays out the distinctions that help us understand what makes stress, well – stressful. The third and final part (due out in about a week will then bring it all back home with the evidence-based research on the stress reducing and well-being promoting properties of empathy and a set of related practices.
Listen to Parts 1 and 2 of the blog posts as a podcast on Spotify –
(Note this is not a transcript but a different performance of the same context as the text.)
Stress and inflammation: Some is good, too much is not
As my Grandma Laura understood implicitly (and as detailed in Part 1), stress reduces the body’s immune defenses. The person becomes vulnerable to disease. What is less well understood is how the body responds to social stress; and what the heck is “social stress” anyway?
We will precisely define all kinds of stress in the next section, but, for the moment, social stress is stress related to competition and conflict between people, who are trying to live together in a human community.
The body responds with an immune response, because social stress seems to simulate the attack of something coming at the person and the person’s body from the outside such as an infectious agent like a virus or bacteria. The immune system response to the perceived stress results in inflammation, which, in turn, aggravates emotional and psychosomatic disorders. The challenge is to connect the dots between stress, inflammation, physical diseases, emotional disorders, and then intervene with empathy to interrupt this negative cycle.
“Social stress” is a feature of life for people who have to work and live with other people, which, excepting a few hermits, is all people. Social stress includes the struggle and effort that people confront in careers, relationships, finances, scheduling, and sustaining emotional equilibrium.Social stress occurs in divorces, misbehaving kids, unemployment, adultery, and bankruptcies. Social stress occurs in the competition and aggression between people and groups such as bullying, office politics, stranger danger on the streets, and a host of interpersonal conflicts and pressures too lengthy to list here.
We have been using the word “stress” as if we knew what it is; and we do know a lot about stress from first-hand experience. Stress is a distressing part of life. Stress is di-stressing. Literally. Chronic stress is a pervasive challenge. However, the complete absence of stress is not an option. The complete absence of stress means you are dead—or at least in a persisting vegetative state. Not good.
Social stress is a substantial issue in attaining and managing physical and emotional well-being. It is no surprise that empathy has a significant role to play in shifting out of the stress with which the person is stuck and struggling. Let’s define our terms.
Stress comes in five forms
We use the word “stress” too casually as something to be avoided at all costs. As noted, we forget that zero stress means you are dead, a situation one generally tries to avoid. Yet engaging with stress is, well, stressful. Let us define “stress” and do so precisely by enumerating its different forms.
Stress comes in at least five forms:
(1) Acute, time-limited stressor: For example, public speaking is “an acute, time-limited stressor.”[i] When asked “What do you fear the most?” death comes in second place on the list. Number one is public speaking. People for whom public speaking is a stressor feel better as soon as they are able to step down from the podium. In contrast, for those who train as speakers and performers, the stress of speaking can act as a positive stimulant. If a trained speaker does not feel a touch of “butter-flies” in the stomach, prior to a performance, that is considered a bad sign. Such people get worried if they do not experience some stress; because they know the stress will provide them with the extra energy they need to deliver a compelling performance. Thus, stress has a wholesome, healthy dimension when it gets people “on their best game.”
(2) A personal, life defining challenge: People facing a crucial, life defining examination, such as the Bar Exam in law or Medical Boards, experience acute stress. This is different than “stage fright” in that it is not public. Yet one is being tested, judged, and evaluated by those in authority. The risk is of not looking good or not acquiring the required professional license. Still, the stress is time limited. Once it is over, pending a favorable outcome, the stress is noticeably reduced. Once again, some stress in anticipating the exam is useful in providing an incentive to prepare.
(3) Naturalistic stressors: Different kinds of natural or social events such as death of a family member, loss of a job, or divorce are stressful. These can be highly stressful; yet in every case, a definite end point exists that one can try to imagine. Mourning lasts about a year. People find other jobs. People meet new partners.
Many of the rituals surrounding the death of a person to whom one is close are designed to facilitate the process of working through the stress. Wakes and funerals, when they function as designed, are calculated to evoke stories about the loved one, and the accompanying tears and laughter serve to process the loss. The storytelling itself is the empathic moment, making present a response in the form of acknowledgement and recognition of the life of the lost loved one.
(4) Trauma as such: An event in the past that “lives on” emotionally such as the experience of war or rape is stressful. Even if the trauma is separated from the present by a significant interval of time, the stressor may live on. The person may experience and re-experience the trauma as intrusive thoughts, recurring nightmares, blunted affect, amnesia, avoidance, an exaggerated startle response, and so on. In short, criteria for post trauma stress disorder (PTSD) are satisfied, whether or not they rise to a clinically relevant level. This is chronic stress that does not quit.
The treatment of choice for stressors related to traumatic events that keep coming back and live on is described as “exposure.” The survivor is supposed to do that which he is least inclined to do: expose himself to the trauma again (but now in a controlled and gradual way), redescribing the upset imaginatively or vicariously. In redescribing the experience in relevant detail, the unintegrated emotions and feelings are given a chance to be re-experienced and integrated. The trauma shrinks. Do this repeatedly and the trauma shrinks repeatedly, little-by-little, step-by-step. The trauma becomes manageable, which means it stops being traumatic.
One gets one’s power back in the face of the upset whereas previously the event was an intrusive, monster-like interruption that one was trying to escape without noticeable success. For example, in eye movement desensitization routine (EMDR), the focusing on the back-and-forth movement of the light sequence or the therapist moving a baton, binds the patient’s attention (and potential fear) while he recalls, talks about, gives an account of, sometimes merely thinks about, and re-experiences the trauma in a non-traumatic, or at least trauma reducing, way. An entire account of trauma and recovery is implied here, and for further details the interested reader is referred to the relevant literature on trauma. [ii]
This is where empathy comes into its own as an intervention. What is often overlooked in accounts of such exposure-directed interventions is that, unless the re-experiencing is undertaken in the context of an empathic relatedness, it is like dental work without Novocain. Some patients who are hurting enough and courageous enough may stick with it; but many will just make other arrangements (such as drinking alcohol to excess), not come back, and continue to struggle in stuckness. The empathic relatedness provides the survivor with the empathic connectedness needed to risk diving again back into the emotional dimension of the trauma (which has previously been held at arms’ length), knowing that he can reconnect empathically with the facilitator to regain his emotional equilibrium.
(5) Long term stressors: Long term stressors are ones with no defined or obvious end in sight. Examples of long term stress include caring for a loved one who has a progressive, degenerative disease such as Alzheimer’s; suffering from a life-threatening or serious chronic disease oneself; loss of one’s home, that is, becoming homeless; being employed significantly beneath one’s educational level on a long-term basis; financial ruin due to illness or criminal behavior (think of Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi scheme that financially destroyed many middle class lives); legal troubles; growing up being African American in states where racially motivated lynchings occurred (or arguably, growing up African American anywhere in America); being a refugee or immigrant and a stranger in a strange land.
For example, the United Nations estimates that between (Q3 2017) and Q4 2022 the number displaced persons, refugees, in the world has increased from 60 to 108.4 million. Refugees are under extreme stress. In all of these cases, the stress is chronic and long term. The symptoms may or may not rise to the level of clinical post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); or the person may find other ways of responding to the distress and expressing the suffering. Self-defeating behavior, behavioral disorders, substance abuse, promiscuous unprotected sex with different partners or other forms of acting out, allergies, chronic hard-to-diagnose intermittent headaches, backaches, asthma attacks, irritable bowl, hard-to-diagnose chronic pain, and so on, are common.
Relatively fewer extreme examples such as social isolation, long term loneliness, low socio-economic status (poverty), being the target of repeated bullying, are less immediately destructive of one’s humanity. Yet the cumulative stress entailed is substantial.
From a completely different perspective, the modern, relatively well-to-do family has to run the gauntlet of seemingly endless micro-stressors. While not comparable with war or rape, “micro-stressors” are the abundant small insults, injuries, frustrations, and misfortunes that occur on a daily basis in fast-paced, modern life. These are “first world problems,” that end up taking seven years off of one’s life expectancy. Getting the kids up at an early hour and delivering them to school prior to a challenging commute to work is stressful. The boss at work is not necessarily an example of empathic understanding. On the contrary, it’s “by the numbers,” “get your numbers,” and if you don’t get your numbers, your days are numbered. If you don’t have any numbers, that itself is a bad sign, and we will find some for you. Relations with coworkers and superiors can be Machiavellian—and conflict-laden.
As noted, and not for the last time, the things that make us good at business—compliance, dealing with competitive pressures, managing technology—do not expand the affection and affinity in our relationships. Cynicism and survival drive out empathy, intensifying stress. Then the reverse commute back home; chauffeuring the kids around to activities such as soccer or play dates, to which they are entitled and which they require in order to become well-rounded, successful human beings; strained relationships with these very kids over homework and with the spouse over the lack of satisfying relatedness much less a sex life, and the drum beat of micro-stressors goes on. The formula for wide-spread chronic stress is complete.
Social stress enters the body through the immune system
The body responds to common bacterial infections and to wounds by becoming inflamed. How this works—and does not work—becomes a tadtechnical, and I have to ask the reader’s patience in laying out the distinctions needed to connect the dots between stress, inflammation, and empathy.
How does stress get into the body? This is important, because, when stress “gets in,” it sets off a cascade of negative results that affect our physical and emotional well-being. To cut to the chase, scientists believe that stress gets into the body through the immune system. (See the article by Segerstrom and Miller (2004) cited above and listed as a reference below.) Once stress activates immune processes designed to fight infection, the dominoes start falling. Diverse systems of the body can be left in a state of chronic inflammation, which, if left untreated, result in life style disorders and diseases.
These disorders include conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), metabolic disorders (obesity, type 2 diabetes, congestive heart failure, chronic pulmonary obstructive disease), migraines and lower back pain (notoriously difficult to diagnose), and numerous allergies (peanut, gluten, lactose, dust) with which many children (and adults) now find their vitality reduced. (This list is not complete.)
The human immune system was developed between 100,000 and a million years ago when our early proto-human ancestors emerged on the plains of present-day East Africa. Now one must be on guard against generating a “just so” story about what life was like in such an early environment of evolutionary origin.
Our ancestors faced a different set of challenges than we do. If they wanted to get somewhere, they had to walk. If they wanted to do detailed work such as sewing after sunset, they had to light a fire. If they got sick, they had a choice of naturally occurring purgatives, stimulants, or a sweat lodge to try to sweat out the toxins. They were exposed to physical hazards in chasing game such as rabbits or antelope for food through the bush. Injuries such as cuts and abrasions were common; and when such injuries to the skin occurred, the risk of infection was significant. Responding to tissue damage had a priority. If a wound became infected, the entire organism was at risk. Mini-clinics had not yet been invented.
What the sick person experiences as the disease is actually the beneficial side-effect of the defense mounted by the body’s immune system against disease. Our bodies developed their built-in ability to heal wounds and respond to infections in this physically demanding environment. We are the beneficiaries of millennia of natural selection to protect the organism against wounds and infections—and, in addition, we now have mini-clinics and antibiotics.
The sick person experiences the disease as the body’s defense
The wound temporarily becomes red—it is inflamed—and the body sometimes becomes feverish in an attempt to kill the intruder by “cooking” it. As part of this defensive response, the body engages in “sick behavior.” It tends to withdraw; wants to lie down in its bed; experiences low energy; and has an increased need to sleep. Such behavior makes perfect sense in terms of rallying the body’s resources to overcome the disease.
The body summons defensive biological agents to the location of the injury. These defensive agents include macrophages—literally “big eaters”—that attack the foreign invaders and encompass and digest (i.e., eat) them. The body’s immune system gets into action and sounds the alarm using messengers called “cytokines.” “Cytokines” have become famous because an entire theory of depression is named after them. More on that shortly.
These Big Eaters—macrophages—and cytokines congregate at the site of injury or infection, release toxic substances such as oxygen radicals that damage invaders, and break down the invaders and damaged tissue. These defenses have broad effects on the organism, including fever and inflammation, as they promote wound healing.
Now take this immune system, which was developed to defend against wounds and bacteria, and fast forward about half a million years to our own time. Modern humans no longer face hostile animals and the elements. It is true that parts of our modern cities have become urban jungles, in which people behave in aggressive ways towards their neighbors; but the majority of the population still manages to avoid such situations, granted that is little consolation to those trapped in social injustice (itself a source of social stress).
Today human beings face social stressors as well as biological ones. Such social stressors are symbolic in that they represent non-material entities such as status, power, a piece of paper or electronic bits called “money,” expectations about the future, access to resources based on educational opportunities (or lack thereof), and meaning making of the kind we explored in world class novels and narratives from George Eliot (May Ann Evans), Thomas Mann, Tennessee Williams, and Shakespeare. Social status is a symbolic good. For our proto-human ancestors, social status in the group translated into access to choose morsels of food and access to superior mating opportunities. Likewise, with us?
For us moderns the symbolic stress now has become chronic and unremitting. It is not that life as such was so much better when the vast majority of the population worked on a farm (or were hunter-gatherers). Let us not idealize the past. Days were long—from sunrise to sunset (since electricity had not been invented). Life was surely physically harder. Disease was not a symbolic threat; it was an ever-present danger and immediately present. Death was a daily companion and a near, not a remote, possibility.
Still, expectations were probably lower. Resignation and acceptance of one’s fate were embedded more deeply. People were too physically exhausted to worry about whether one’s child would get into a preschool program that would enable her to qualify for Harvard. Perhaps that itself provided relief from chronic stress.
If one lived even a hundred years ago, the likelihood was that, if one survived the hazards of childhood, an infectious disease such as influenza, tuberculosis, cholera, or pneumonia would eventually end one’s life. Childhood mortality and death in childbirth were major factors limiting life expectancy; though if one survived childhood, then one’s life expectancy as an adult might approach that which we enjoy today in developed countries with modern medicine.
The good news is sometimes also the less good news. Today thanks to antibiotics and vaccinations, the vast majority of the population in developed countries survives long enough to develop chronic disorders associated with social stress and life style responses to it.
In the final part of this series, we look in detail at the dots connecting the stress and inflammation reducing properties of empathy with improved well-being and evidence based outcomes in basic medicine. Stand by!
[i] Suzanne C. Segerstrom and Gregory E. Miller. (2004). Psychological stress and the human immune system: A meta-analytic study of 30 years of inquiry, Psychol Bulletin, 2004 July, 130(4): 601–630.
[ii] Bessel van der Kolk. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Trans- formation of Trauma. New York: Penguin Books.
Note: All the usual disclaimers apply. This is not intended to be, nor is it, medical advice or medical guidelines. Always consult with your medical doctor and other professional counselors about decisions affecting your health and well-being.
Image Credit: Group Tai Chi practice in a Shanghai park led by Grandmaster Xie Bingcan in 2011. Author: Seattletaijiquan This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license
(c) Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project
Empathy – a spa treatment for the soul
My first training in stress reduction through empathy came from my dear Grandma Laura. With Grandma Laura the force of empathy was strong. However, she came from a time and place, prior to the Internet, that did not require much formal education.
My Grandma Laura may actually have believed that getting caught in the rain caused upper respiratory infections such as the common cold. She was happy to make the chicken soup to sooth my sneezes and colds, and she endorsed chicken soup as the treatment of choice for the common cold.
Grandma was relying on common sense—and a wisdom that is all-too-rare in our own time. She noted that people who were physically stressed out by exposure to cold and wet weather succumbed to the common cold. She also observed that rest and warm, nourishing liquids—chicken soup—provided relief to the sneezing, sniffling, suffering survivor until the cold had run its natural course.
Listen to Parts 1 and 2 of the blog posts as a podcast on Spotify –
(Note this is not a transcript but a different performance of the same context as the text.)
I acknowledge the book Chicken Soup for the Soul. I stopped counting how many had been published in the series when the number hit eighteen. [i] Keep up the great work! The point here is that chicken soup, delivered in the proper context, reduces stress; and so it reduces the symptoms of inflammation (runny nose and so on) that occur when the immune system fights back against infection.
Thus, empathy is compared to chicken soup. It has also been compared to sinking back into a hot bath, and taking the “healing waters” as part of a spa treatment. We shall work with all these metaphors. We shall also continue the work begun in Chapter Four with evidence-based, peer-reviewed, scientific publications that the benefits of empathy for the recipient are closely related to stress reduction. First, some background.
My Grandma may not actually have had the distinction “immune system.” This distinction provides what we call the “confounding variable” in “Getting caught in the rain causes the common cold.” Of course, the rain does not cause the common cold. The rhino virus causes the common cold. What getting caught in the rain does is reduce the body’s immune system’s defense against viruses such as the rhino virus that already live in the body.
The sneezing, sniffling, and suffering are the inflammation that occur when the body’s immune system is mobilized and fights back against the virus by producing the bodily defenses called “antibodies,” sending them to the site of the infection (i.e., the nose) to disrupt the viral attack. Antibodies are doing battle against the attacking viruses, the antigens. The result, at thirty thousand feet, is that the person experiences all the annoying symptoms of a head cold.
In my case, Grandma was spot on in correlating getting wet and physically exhausted by the storm with coming down with a cold. We forgive her lack of scientific rigor. After all, she was a world class cook, even if an unsung one until now, not a immunologist.
A word of caution. The distinction between “body and mind” is already embedded into our modern science, our thinking, our way of relating to other people, and our way of relating to ourselves.
We are not going to undo centuries of distinguishing mind and body in this book. Still, we may usefully recall one philosopher’s (Ludwig Wittgenstein’s) anecdote: “The human body is the best picture of the soul.”[ii] Keep that in mind.
A small set of practices such as receiving empathy, meditation (mindfulness), Yoga, and Tai Chi Chuan, promote recovery and well-being in reducing inflammation. The solution then is a hot bath? A spa treatment? Don’t laugh. There are many less useful interventions available. The limitation of a spa treatment is that it provides symptom relief, not a long-term solution. After the benefits of the spa treatment wear off in a couple of weeks, the person is right back where she or he started. The difference between empathy and a hot bath—granted that both are relaxing—is that empathy provides for structural change to the person’s personality, expanding resilience, emotional stability, and relatedness. Advantage empathy: empathy is superior to a spa treatment for the soul. How is this so?
Today it is fashionable to say that whatever benefits a person, whether Prozac or mindfulness, rewires the brain. In plain English, practicing empathy, receiving empathy, being empathic, also rewires the brain, that is, it builds new habits.
Empathy builds new habits in relationships—in engaging in listening to the other person, in interacting across personal boundaries, in reducing conflict, in an expanding toleration of upsets in relatedness, and in building a community of engaged neighbors.
Expanding one’s empathy enhances one’s ability to deal with personal dynamics in friendships, intimate relationships, and in groups such as the workplace, school, and community.
Expanding empathy enhances a person’s stability, strength of character, and emotional equilibrium in the face of destabilizing upsets. It enables one to be with people and events that are difficult. Expanding one’s empathy enables one effectively to get results where previously one would have experienced failure and frustration—and the resulting stress.
With acknowledgement to Donald Hebb, “neurons that fire together wire together.” “Rewiring” is the new buzzword for “building habits.”
If the ideas in biology that we explore in this and the following posts are a tad technical, I am unapologetic.
Psychopharmacologists and practitioners of behavioral interventions such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) have been less than charitable in engaging with the status of the evidence on behalf of empathy and empathy-related interventions. “Dismissive” is the word that comes to mind; and yet the evidence-based, peer-reviewed distinctions that are engaged in this engagement with empathy cannot be dismissed. Those with economic and territorial incentives to provide a complex and expensive solution do not necessarily welcome a less complex or less expensive one such as empathy.
The results are now in. Substantial evidence is available of what most people with common sense have appreciated all along, that empathy and being treated empathically are good for people’s health and well-being. Stress reduction works. Empathy works. The work we do in this chapter enables us to expand our understanding of why.
Stress reduction practices such as meditation, Yoga, and Tai Chi do not necessarily work in the same way as empathy. (Full disclosure: I practiced Tai Chi weekly for four years, but have limited experience with the others.)
I hypothesize that all these practices create a distance between one’s experience and one’s cognitive and emotional processes. This distance opens up a place for empathy to expand and authentic relatedness to occur.
When this “distance” between one’s experience and one’s cognitive and emotional responses becomes habitual—today we would say “encoded in the neurons”—then the change is structural and, thus, long lasting and enduring. How does this work?
The answer to the question awaits the next episode, the next post, in this series due out next week. Stand by for update!
Notes
[i] Jack Canfield, Sally Burbank, Terri Elders, and Amy Newmark. (2003). Chicken Soup for the Soul. New York: Soul Publishing (Simon and Shuster).
[ii] Ludwig Wittgenstein. (1951). Philosophical Investigations, tr. E. Anscombe. London: Basil Blackwell, 1968.Blackwell, 1968.
IMAGE CREDIT: Creative Commons Attribution: Logeshwaran Rajendran
(c) Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project
Edwin Rutsch interviews Lou Agosta: Empathy Curriculum: Overview of the Empathy Lessons Training Seminar (ETLS)
Empathy Curriculum: Overview of the Empathy Lessons Training Seminar (ELTS): Edwin Rutsch interviews Lou Agosta about the ELTS and Lou’s experiences around empathy
To listen to Edwin’s Rutsch’s interview and conversation with Lou Agosta on Sept 1, 2026.
Play interview by clicking
here: Edwin Rutsch Interviews Lou Agosta
[ https://youtu.be/4jQe9ccVfM8?si=lwVibcPIN8D67v3w]
The following summary was generated by AI by Edwin Rutsch.
Edwin Rutsch interviews philosopher, author, and clinical assistant professor Lou Agosta to explore his 10-week “Empathy Lessons Training Seminar.” The discussion covers the philosophical foundations of empathy, its physiological benefits, methods for diagnosing and repairing empathy breakdowns, and the role of rigorous boundary setting.
“Empathy isn’t drowning in the other person’s ocean of misery – it’s taking a six-ounce pour of their suffering so you can truly understand it without losing yourself.”
10 Week Training Outline
- Session One: The one-minute empathy training
- Session Two: Empathy and brain science – this is your brain on empathy
- Session Three: Empathy breakdowns, breakthroughs and introspection
- Session Four: Resistance to empathy
- Session Five: The Secret underground history of empathy
- Session Six: Empathy and story telling
- Session Seven: Empathy and boundary setting
- Session Eight: Review of the literature that empathy is good for one’s health and well being
- Session Nine: Speaking truth to power – rhetorical empathy in politics
- Session Ten: Empathy is the new love – examining love through empathy
This interview series is part of The Empathy Center’s initiative to develop an open-source Empathy Movement Training Curriculum.Join us in creating it.
Short Meeting Overview
Edwin Rutsch interviews philosopher, author, and clinical assistant professor Lou Agosta to explore his 10-week “Empathy Lessons Training Seminar.” The discussion covers the philosophical foundations of empathy, its physiological benefits in healthcare, methods for diagnosing and repairing empathy breakdowns, and the role of rigorous boundary setting.
Paragraph Meeting Overview
This meeting serves as the inaugural interview in an exploratory series for the Empathy Movement Training Curriculum project, led by Edwin Rutsch, Founding Director of The Empathy Center. Guest Lou Agosta outlines the architecture of his upcoming 10-week training seminar, unpacking a multidimensional definition of empathy that spans receptivity, understanding of possibility, perspective taking, and empathic responsiveness. Agosta shares how his personal background, academic work at the University of Chicago under Heinz Kohut’s circle, and clinical teaching at Ross University Medical School informed his model of a “rigorous and critical empathy.” The dialogue bridges psychological theory and real-world application, detailing how stress reduction, mirror neurons, and repairing empathy breakdowns (e.g., emotional contagion, projection) enable human connection. Finally, both dialogue partners investigate movement-building strategies, discussing the need to articulate the societal value of empathy, embrace assertive public presence (such as the Empathy Tent and potential legislative sit-ins), and synthesize diverse empathy pedagogies into a collaborative, open-source curriculum.
Step-by-Step Outline of the Discussion
1. Introductions and Seminar Overview
- Time code: [00:02] – [05:46]
- Core Discussion Points:
- Edwin introduces Lou Agosta (author of A Rumor of Empathyand Empathy and Morality) and frames the interview within the Empathy Movement Training Curriculum initiative.
- Lou introduces his background: PhD from the University of Chicago, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Ross University Medical School / St. Anthony Hospital in Chicago.
- Lou highlights peer-reviewed clinical research demonstrating that physician empathy measurably improves patient outcomes (e.g., lower cholesterol, improved diabetes markers, reduced stress/inflammation).
- Outcome: Established the academic, clinical, and practical premise of the 10-week Empathy Lessons Training Seminar.
2. Defining Empathy and Philosophical Foundations
- Time code: [05:46] – [13:14]
- Core Discussion Points:
- Lou details the four core aspects of empathy: Receptivity (affective input), Understanding Possibility (recognizing who the person is beyond breakdown), Cognitive Perspective Taking (viewpoint), and Empathic Responsiveness (giving back what was heard for validation).
- Empathy Circles are acknowledged as a foundational gateway practice.
- Lou offers his central philosophical thesis: without empathy, there is no shared humanity (“the zombie apocalypse”). In parenting, teaching, medicine, and business, the other person calls forth the empathy in us.
- Outcome: Grounded the curriculum definition in a four-part relational process rather than a static trait.
3. Theory of Change and Overcoming Empathy Breakdowns
- Time code: [13:14] – [20:25]
- Core Discussion Points:
- Lou presents his “one-minute empathy training”: drive out aggression, bullying, prejudice, and negative politics, allowing empathy to expand naturally.
- Lou argues that “there is enough empathy to go around,” drawing an analogy to global food production (Norman Borlaug and the Green Revolution)-starvation and empathy deficits occur because resources are withheld, weaponized, or blocked.
- Outcome: Framed empathy development around clearing obstacles and blocks rather than manufacturing a scarce resource.
4. Personal Origins, Heinz Kohut, and Rigorous Empathy
- Time code: [20:25] – [33:20]
- Core Discussion Points:
- Lou shares the personal roots of his work: receiving bedtime storytelling empathy from his mother while dealing with a harsh, “boot camp” father.
- Studies at the University of Chicago during the rise of Heinz Kohut’s self psychology; working with colleagues Michael Basch, Arnold Goldberg, and Ernest Wolf.
- Defining “rigorous and critical empathy” (concept from Xavier Remy) as disciplined receptivity, interpretation, and responsiveness rather than sentimental (“kumbaya”) agreement.
- Being deeply listened to (by mentors, his mother, early partners, and psychoanalysts) demonstrated empathy’s life-altering impact.
- Outcome: Connected self-psychology lineage and experiential childhood background to the necessity of structured empathy training.
5. Course Structure, Safety, and Stress Reduction
- Time code: [33:20] – [38:59]
- Core Discussion Points:
- Overview of the course audience: broad applicability for leaders, mediators, educators, and anyone wanting to strengthen their “empathy muscle.”
- The seminar covers approximately 40 distinct empathy lessons across 10 two-hour sessions.
- Theory of change: “Transformation is instantaneous; change is hard work.” Empathy operates as a stress-reduction mechanism-getting heard is “like sinking into a hot bath” (quoting Kohut).
- Establishing safety through explicit agreements and confidentiality so participants can explore vulnerabilities without feeling forced to share.
- Outcome: Defined the seminar pedagogy as alternating 15-20 minute lectures with experiential sharing in a secure environment.
6. Walkthrough of the 10 Sessions (Part 1: Sessions 1-5)
- Time code: [38:59] – [58:49]
- Core Discussion Points:
- Session 1 (Definitions & Mind Reading): Exploring empathic receptivity vs. “mind misreading” (e.g., domestic arguments over toothpaste caps taking on distorted emotional meanings).
- Session 2 (Brain Science): Mirror neurons, stress pathways, and empathy as a non-pharmacological health intervention.
- Session 3 (Empathy Breakdowns): Four primary breakdowns-emotional contagion, conformity, projection, and communication loss. Emphasizing self-empathy as the foundation for repairing breakdowns.
- Session 4 (Resistance & Boundary Setting):Differentiating empathy from empathic distress/burnout. Critiquing Paul Bloom’s Against Empathy, arguing for both empathy and rational compassion. Taking a “six-ounce pour” (data sample) rather than drowning in someone else’s misery.
- Session 5 (Underground History & Aesthetics): Tracing empathy (Einf�hlung) from 19th-century German aesthetics and art history to psychology. Viewing people with the same reverence and care given to masterpieces.
- Outcome: Systematized the first half of the curriculum around scientific mechanisms, psychological pitfalls, and historical roots.
7. Walkthrough of the 10 Sessions (Part 2: Sessions 6-10)
- Time code: [58:49] – [01:13:00]
- Core Discussion Points:
- Session 6 (Storytelling & Spirituality): Exploring empathy through narrative (e.g., the Good Samaritan) and managing the vulnerabilities of the “natural empath.”
- Session 7 (Boundaries & Humor): Distinguishing healthy fences with gates from impassable walls (referencing Robert Frost). Examining how humor discharges tension through boundary-crossing, contrasting aggressive wit with respectful empathy.
- Session 8 (Trainability & Social Healing): Evidence showing empathy is a trainable skill; empathy as an essential social survival tool (“wear a parachute, use penicillin, lead with empathy”).
- Session 9 (Rhetorical Empathy & Speaking): Moving beyond empathic listening into empathic speaking and speaking truth to power. Analyzing Malcolm X (“Plymouth rock landed on you”), Abraham Lincoln, and Barack Obama.
- Session 10 (Empathy and Love / Racism): Examining the spectrum between soothing empathy and “tough love,” reflecting on Edwin’s dialogues with former extremists and Daryl Davis.
- Outcome: Completed the comprehensive overview of the 10 sessions, emphasizing expressive/rhetorical empathy and tough love.
8. Movement Building, Value Perception, and “Occupy Empathy”
- Time code: [01:13:00] – [01:22:30]
- Core Discussion Points:
- Gaps in the empathy ecosystem: Practitioners often hesitate to articulate the monetary and societal value of empathy. While empathy is a common good like clean air or water, professional empathy instruction must be valued.
- Reframing interpersonal conflict: Approaching difficult colleagues, challenging customers, or provocative relatives as one’s personal “empathy trainers.”
- Edwin’s proposal for “Occupy Empathy”: Expanding the Empathy Tent model from street fairs and political rallies to sustained public demonstrations (e.g., occupying legislative capitols until politicians engage in Empathy Circles). Lou expresses enthusiasm and willingness to support public actions.
- Outcome: Concluded with mutual appreciation and an agreement to collaborate on public empathy activism and curriculum development.
Empathy Movement Curriculum Insights
Mapping the concepts from this interview directly to the development modules of the Empathy Movement Curriculum
- Module 4: Definition of Empathy
- Four-Phase Model: Incorporate Lou’s four distinct phases into the curriculum:
- (1) Receptivity (mammalian affective communication),
- (2) Seeing the Person as Possibility,
- (3) Cognitive Perspective Taking, and
- (4) Empathic Responsiveness (testing accuracy: “Did I get it right?”).
- Abundance vs. Scarcity: Adopt the pedagogical stance that empathy is not inherently scarce; like food in the Green Revolution, there is enough to go around. Training should focus on removing systemic and psychological obstacles (aggression, prejudice, bullying) rather than treating empathy as an artificial commodity.
- Four-Phase Model: Incorporate Lou’s four distinct phases into the curriculum:
- Module 5: Deeper Empathy (Carl Rogers, Self Psychology, & Diagnostics)
- Heinz Kohut�s “Hot Bath”: Use the clinical framing that receiving genuine active listening lowers biological stress and soothes the nervous system, functioning as a primary non-pharmacological health intervention.
- Rigorous & Critical Empathy vs. Over-Identification:Teach boundary management via the “six-ounce pour”metaphor. Empathy is data sampling of another person�s experience, not merging or drowning in their distress. This provides facilitators with protection against compassion fatigue.
- Self-Empathy as Breakdown Repair: Embed exercises where participants identify personal triggers (e.g., emotional contagion, projection) and listen to their own internal reactions before attempting to reflect or engage with an external counterpart.
- Module 7: Conflict Resolution & Depolarization
- “Mind Reading” vs. “Mind Misreading”: Design exercises identifying how minor conflicts (e.g., toothpaste caps, household chores) get distorted into existential accusations (“You don’t love me”). Learning to de-escalate involves separating literal content from invented meaning.
- The “Empathy Trainer” Reframe: Train participants to view difficult coworkers, contentious family members, or ideological opponents not as adversaries, but as high-leverage “empathy trainers” for practicing active listening.
- Tough Love Spectrum: Position Empathy Circles along a developmental continuum that includes soothing listening on one end and assertive, boundaried “tough love” on the other when engaging with manipulative or bad-faith actors.
- Curriculum Innovation: Rhetorical Empathy (Empathic Speaking)
- Speaking Truth with Empathy: Expand the curriculum beyond active listening into empathic speaking (Session 9 in Lou�s seminar). Use historical examples (Malcolm X, Lincoln, Obama) to demonstrate how speakers validate audience experiences and cultural metaphors while delivering transformative, challenging truths.
- Movement Building & Public Activism (Occupy Empathy)
- Assertive Action (“Occupy Empathy”): Move beyond passive workshops by taking the Empathy Tent into high-stakes civic arenas. Establish direct-action campaigns (e.g., state capitols, public plazas) facilitating structured Empathy Circles between polarized political factions.
- Articulating Societal & Economic Value: Overcome reluctance around financial valuation. Empathy advocates must clearly articulate the tangible return on investment of empathy training in healthcare, business, and civic life.
- (c) Edwin Rutsch and the Culture of Empathy and Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project
Registration now open: Empathy Lessons Training Seminar (ELTS) Registration, Syllabus, Agreements
Empathy is oxygen for the soul. Short of breath? Maybe one needs expanded empathy. Get some empathy and expand yours in this seminar. A rigorous and critical empathy says: I know what you feel because I feel it, too, as a vicarious experience, not a merger. It is not as if parents, teachers, doctors, therapists, friends, and neighbors, needed an expert to tell them what empathy is. Ask any parent, teacher, behavioral health professional, and they practice empathy every day, even if they may not always be able to say it out loud. This seminar brings forth what you already know about empathy – what you have already learned since you could not survive without empathy – and expands it with abundant tips, techniques, and real-world transformation in exercising empathy as a power and practice.
A detailed outline (syllabus) of the seminar, benefits you will obtain by participating, and agreements for participants follow inline.
Here is how to register: click below (ELTS):
Empathy Lessons Training Seminar Syllabus Outline – this is the outline of the seminar
Empathy Lessons Training Seminar (ELTS)
Empathy is oxygen for the soul. Short of breath? Maybe one needs expanded empathy. Get some in this seminar: I know what you feel because I feel it, too, as a vicarious experience, not a merger. It is not as if parents, teachers, doctors, therapists, friends, and neighbors, needed an expert to tell them what empathy is. Ask any parent, teacher, behavioral health professional, and they practice empathy every day, even if they may work on how explicitly to bring forth what they know. This seminar brings forth what you already know about empathy – and expands it with abundant tips, techniques, and real-world transformation in exercising empathy as a power and practice.
Schedule: Every Saturday for ten weeks Sept 12, 2026 thru Nov 21, 2026 at 11 am CDT – starts after Labor Day (USA) and ends before Thanksgiving (USA) via Zoom
Seminar Syllabus Outline:
Session One: The one-minute empathy training.
Talking points:
- Personal note: The beginning of my empathy training
- The multi-dimensional definition of empathy
- Empathic receptivity and vicarious experience
- Empathic understanding—understanding of possibility
- Where there is “mind reading” there is “mind misreading”
- The folk interpretation of empathy: Top-down empathy
- There is enough empathy to go around, even though it does not seem that way on most days. Why is that?
Session Two: Empathy and brain science – this is your brain on empathy
Talking points:
- Mirror neurons – what are those?
- Stress and inflammation: Some is good, too much is not
- Social stress enters the body through the immune system
- Connecting the dots: stress and inflammation
- Connecting the dots: anti-inflammation and empathy
- Empathy as a “Miracle drug”
- Empathy is a spa treatment for the soul
Session Three: Empathy breakdowns and introspection
Talking points:
- Emotional contagion is failed empathy
- The analogy of optical illusions with empathy breakdowns
- Empathic receptivity breaks down as emotional contagion
- Empathic understanding breaks down as conformity
- Empathic interpretation breaks down as projection
- Empathic response breaks down and gets “lost in translation”
- Introspection is the royal road to empathy; be introspective
Session Four: Resistance to empathy
Talking points:
- Overcome resistance to empathy, and empathy expands
- Train and develop empathy by overcoming the obstacles to empathy
- “Listen from possibility” rather than listening from a “position X”:
- Distinguish between what happened and what one made it mean
- Empathy is a tuner or dial, not an “on-off” switch
- Empathy is a method of data gathering about the other person:
- Be generous with acknowledgement
Session Five: The Secret underground history of empathy
Talking points:
The distinction “empathy” was a part of sympathy, fellow feeling, vicarious feeling, communicability of affect in aesthetics and art history, and storytelling is discussed through different methods of inquiry. The session includes short selections from the philosophers, phenomenologists, and psychoanalysts
- David Hume,
- Immanuel Kant,
- Theodor Lipps,
- Sigmund Freud,
- Heinz Kohut,
- Husserl/Edith Stein,
- Max Scheler
Session Six: Empathy and story telling
Talking points:
And, yes, we are going to tell some stories.
- The “Natural Empath”: Caught between nature and nurture
- The Good Samaritan meets the Natural Empath
Examples of empathy from World Literature including
- Toni Morrison
- George Eliot (Marion Evans)
- Thomas Mann
- Albert Camus
- Goethe
Session Seven: Empathy and boundary setting
Talking points:
- Get your power back through empathy
- Establish and maintain firm boundaries between the self and the Other in relating empathically – but do not forget to practice being inclusive
- Empathy deescalates anger and rage
- Empathy is the ultimate anti-bullying anti-dote –
- When (why) empathy doesn’t work with bullies, psychopaths, and the criminally insane – and what to do about it
- Empathy is closely related to humor
- Empathy lessons are everywhere
Session Eight: Review of the literature that empathy is good for one’s health and well being
Talking points:
- Empathy is trainable – practice, you get better at it
- The empathy exams
- What counts as evidence that empathy works?
- Evidence-based empathy
- Jumping out of an airplane – be sure to wear a parachute
- Common factor, empathy, in social healing practices
Session Nine: Speaking truth to power – rhetorical empathy in politics
Talking points:
- Truth versus politics
- The first instance of fake news—ever
- Empathic receptivity soothes anger and rage
- Empathic understanding discloses political vision
- Empathic interpretation engages intractable problems
- Rhetorical empathy: Empathic responsiveness
- Malcolm-X’s rhetorical empathy
- John Stuart Mill’s rhetorical empathy
- Governor Altgeld’s rhetorical empathy
- Ronald Regan’s rhetorical empathy
- Lincoln’s rhetorical empathy
Session Ten: Empathy is the new love – examining love through the lens of empathy
Talking points: So If empathy is the new love, what then was the old love?
- Defining Our Terms: Love and Empathy
- Empathy and love have characteristic breakdowns
- The unbearable lightness of empathy
- Design defects of the male brain
- Women and men want the same things—but differ in priority
- The desire of desire
- The Positive Aspects of Love as Empathic Relatedness
- From Death in Venice (a story) to Empathy in Venice
- Love as a boundary issue: Empathy as a soothing balm
Top Benefits of the Empathy Lessons Training Seminar – these are the benefits –
The answer is empathy – so what’s the question? Stress pushes people down into survival. People stress other people, being difficult to deal with at home, on the job, in school, or at leisure with friends. In the Empathy Lessons Training Seminar (ELTS) the participants get an opportunity to engage directly the obstacles that stopping them from getting the empathy. Participants acquire the empathic responsiveness needed to experience satisfaction in relationships of all kinds, personal and professional. Participants overcome the obstacles to effective relationships and shift out of survival mode and into empathic responsiveness in which fulfillment and satisfaction occur that did not previously seem possible.
The top benefits of the empathy lessons training seminar that the participant will receive include expanded empathy and –
1. reduced conflict in one’s life and one’s organization, reducing dignity violations, shame, and related anger and rage
2. expanded power and freedom in the face of resistance, no agreement, or bullying
3. reduced time to results in personal and professional projects, expanding teamwork
4. expanded listening one other individuals and to oneself
5. expanded results in personal relationships
6. reduced compassion fatigue, burnout, professional cynicism or denial
7. expanded cooperation in one’s personal and professional relations, increasing satisfaction with one’s individual and organizational goals
8. the ability to be with another person no matter how difficult an individual
9. the ability to distinguish what happened from what one made it mean
10. ability to like people and be with people regardless of background
11. distinguishing empathy effectively from compassion, altruism, and charity (they are not the same!)
12. the ability to recognize and acknowledge the humanness in oneself and others even in extreme situations
13. the ability to set boundaries in relatedness and navigate boundaries with finesse and skill – for example, in dealing with bullies
14. the ability to shift your empathy from being an “on off” switch to being a rheostat that dials empathy up and down as a filter
15. expanded humor, creativity, appreciation of art, and wisdom – all closely related to empathy – relationships, teamwork, and leadership
Also note:
Participants will get the most value from attending all the sessions. However, for those with scheduling challenges, it is not required to attend every session because every session (except the first) contains a short upfront review of terms and what the participant needs to know to get value from the work.
The Empathy Lessons Training Seminar [ELTS] may be delivered as a stand-alone ten session class for participants who register individually. Alternatively, the ELTS may be delivered as part of an empathy consulting engagement. The organization’s team members are separately interviewed, confidential feedback aggregated anonymously and presented to the leadership, and group work on problem solving, conflict resolutions, issue handling, proceeds in parallel with large group work and small group breakout sessions under the guidance of the organization’s leadership.
The benefits of the ELTS are most available to participants who attend all the sessions. People may selectively attend one or more session and still obtain significant benefit. Naturally, attending more sessions will result in expanded benefits. Whatever you do you are going to get empathy, and, no surprises here, you get out of it what you put into it.
Empathy Lessons Training Seminar (ELTS) Agreements
The Empathy Training Seminar (ELTS) is delivered through Alleingang, Inc., an Illinois Chapter C corporation, Lou Agosta, PhD, President, responsible for providing diverse services in education, consulting, and publishing. The trainer is Lou Agosta. The participants are the individuals who sign up, pay the fee, agreement to these agreements (hereafter: Agreements) and attend the training.
The ELTS is a ten session, structured conversation designed to expand empathy in the participant and in the community. The ELTS occurs as a two-hour session for ten weeks for a total of some twenty hours.
The ELTS training material distributed to the participants is copy-righted material and the conversations that occurs in the seminar are confidential and for the personal use of the participants. It may not be recorded, copied, taped or otherwise captured to electronic media. Any notes taken by the participants are only for the personal use of the participants and may not be published, sold, or otherwise redistributed under any circumstances.
The ELTS is committed to creating an environment where people have the freedom to express themselves and participate without restrictions. Therefore, the ELTS requests that you keep the names and details of what people say in the ELTS confidential. Participants will be separately asked to sign a document in which the person agrees to keep the names and details of what people say in the ELTS confidential, and such signature is a requirement for participating in the ELTS.
Further detailed agreements and background are specified in the online agreement document. The person considering participating is asked to review all these additional agreements carefully, let the trainer (LouAgosta@gmail.com) know of any questions or concerns, and agree to the agreements in completing the registration process.
Consistent with good business practices and current law, Alleingang, Inc. does not tolerate sexual harassment or other forms of harassment in any of our training programs or events. If you have any questions about our policies regarding sexual or other forms of harassment, please contact Lou Agosta (773-203-0269).
The participant hereby agrees to (in the following “I” – “my” – and so on refer to the participant):
- To be on time for my sessions as scheduled
- To discuss and say what is on my mind and what is going on in my life without editing or holding back – to just tell the truth
- Same idea as above – to be straight about what I am thinking and feeling – regardless of its significance or lack of significance to me or even if seems embarrassing or trivial
- If I have an emergency (for example, serious illness, life event, two feet of snow), then I will communicate as soon as I know about it
- If I have a complaint, concern, or issue with the empathy consultant or with the process of training, then I will come into my session and talk about it to resolve it
- I understand that on occasion empathy consulting requires me to consider and discuss confronting and difficult personal matters, including but not limited to my own behavior, blind spots, and thoughts
- To pay the fee agreed upon for the ELTS with the understanding that it is nonrefundable
- To pay the fee agreed upon for the ELTS with the understanding that it is nonrefundable, though in the event of an authentic emergency a reasonable effort will be made to include the participant in a similar (“substitute”) future session
- To be responsible for my health and well-being at all times, in participating in this work
I acknowledge that our conversation and the ELTS are confidential and have received this written statement of confidentiality. Exceptions to confidentiality include [but are not limited to] if the trainer believes the participant is hurting or plans to hurt her- or himself or another person, for example, requiring summoning emergency [911] services. Then confidentiality would not apply.
By entering one’s name and date and related identifying data on the separately published ELTS form, the participant agrees to the Agreements
Here is how to register: click below (ELTS):

Image Credit: photo by Alex Zonis of Lou Agosta, PhD making a presentation on the Secret Underground History of Empathy on November 13, 2015 at a local Chicago adult education program.
(c) Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project
Empathy lesson: Take the other person as your empathy trainer
As an exercise, consider that the other person is one’s empathy trainer. The other individual calls forth one’s empathy. If the Other behaves in a challenging way, the challenge is to one’s empathy. If the other person is in an emotional meltdown, the challenge is to one’s empathic receptivity. If the other person is a conformist, the challenge is to one’s empathic understanding.
Listen to this blog post as a podcast. (There may be minor differences in phrasing between the written and spoken versions as this is not a transcript.)
If the other person is accusatory, projecting hostility, or just hard to figure out, the challenge is to one’s empathic interpretation. If the other person’s self-expression is lost in translation, the challenge is to one’s empathic responsiveness.
If the Other is a difficult individual, the challenge is to one’s empathic relatedness. This gives new meaning to the empathy exams. Think of the “secret shopper,” who tests the sales person’s customer service skills, even if the test is just to set boundaries.
This business of taking the other person as one’s empathy trainer is an indirect reference to a wonderful essay (really a memoire-like story) by Leslie Jamison entitled, “The Empathy Exams,” by which this conversation is inspired, is about Jamison’s experiences working as a medical actor. [i] A medical actor is a person who is hired by a medical school to learn a script. The medical actor portrays a person who has a particular disease. Jamison’s narrative about her work as a medical actor is humorously (and movingly) interwoven with an illness of her own with which she is suddenly confronted.
The medical actor’s script contains instructions: “Your first line is: ‘I’m having these seizures and no one knows why’.” The backstory in the script, which the actor must memorize, is that there is nothing physically wrong with the patient. She has a hysterical personality disorder.
The medical student being examined is graded on how close he or she comes to “nailing” the diagnosis through diagnostic questioning. However, more to the point here, the exam is about whether the medical student’s manner of interacting with the patient is warm, cold, energetic, apathetic, authoritarian, indifferent—or empathic.
The empathy exam is included as part of the feedback provided by the medical actor that goes to form the medical student’s grade. Examining someone—giving a person a test—on something implies that the result can be improved by, training, feedback and practice. One looks for areas for improvement—that is the point of education.
The empathy exams that medical students take are a reality. But even before these real-world empathy exams, a celebrated science fiction novella included an empathy exam. A masterpiece ahead of its time, Philip K. Dick’s negative fantasy of the future Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep (1968) received widespread coverage when made into the movie Blade Runner (1982), starring the young Harrison Ford as the bounty hunter, anti-hero, Rick Deckard. [ii]
In Dick’s celebrated novella, six bioengineered replicants (robots), who are virtually indistinguishable from human beings, have escaped from their assigned location on Mars. They have returned to Earth in an attempt to find their designer, and, force him to postpone their auto-destruction coding. They do not want to be retired—that is, they do not want to have to die. What is the one difference between humans and replicants? The replicants lack empathy.
In the context of the narrative, empathy is detectable by an empathy test, the “Voight-Kampff exam.” No such exam exists. This fictional exam uses a mechanism that is similar to a lie detector as it captures physiological data in response to empathy inspiring questions. For example: “You see a tortoise on its back in the hot sun with its legs flailing helplessly in the air. It cannot turn over without your help. How do you feel?” Or “A little boy shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you feel? What do you say?”
If the individual being interviewed (suspected of being a replicant) produces particular responses—accelerating respiration, blush, heart rate, eye movement, galvanic skin response—then empathy is present. The interviewee is human, not replicant.
Now the narrative twist that elevates Dick’s story above the average science fiction yarn is that, as the story unfolds, the humans become less empathic and the replicants more so. The replicants make a contribution to the community, are altruistic and socially useful, whereas the bounty hunter, who is trying to “retire” them, behaves increasingly aggressively, selfishly, manipulatively, anti-socially, even psychopathically. His conscience and his empathy are in retreat.
What is limiting about Dick’s otherwise visionary account of empathy is that the protagonist and other characters in the narrative believe that empathy is invariable. You either have it or you don’t. However, the development of the plot provides evidence that exactly the contrary is the case. Empathy expands in one case, contracts in another.
Rick Deckard starts out as a human with nuanced emotions. But as he continues killing in his role as bounty hunter, he becomes less empathic, more and more hard-hearted. The replicants, who are attempting to flee from their fate, behave with expanded empathy—and humanity.
The powerful irony is that the replicants end up being more human than the humans. In spite of what some people may believe, based on practices and actions, a person’s empathy expands—or shrinks. This is further evidence that empathy is trainable – one training tip and technique is to take the other person – regard the other person – as one’s empathy trainer.
Now let us take a step back and continue to engage with the empathy lesson. This approach is generalizable. “In any encounter with another, consider the other person as one’s empathy trainer.” The newborn baby trains the parent in how to be empathic; the student trains the teacher; the patient, the doctor; the client, the consultant; the customer, the business person selling the product or service; the neighbor, the stranger; and the audience, the speaker.
This may sound backward and paradoxical. However, by standing things on their head—the customer trains the business person in empathy, the student trains the teacher in empathy, the infant trains the parent in empathy and so on—we get a surprisingly refreshing view of how empathy makes a difference. The survivor is rescued by the Good Samaritan; but the Samaritan is humanized by—gets his humanity from—the survivor, even in addressing the survivor’s temporary loss of humanity as a suffering lump of battered flesh. The baby, the student, the patient, the customer, the neighbor, are the individuals who bring empathy into existence for the parent, the teacher, the business person, the neighbor, respectively.
Note this give new meaning to the term “dialectical” as in Marsha Linehan’s innovative treatment of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). “Dialectical” refers to an apparent contradiction – the baby trains the parent, the customer trains the business person – which upon examination is actually a breakthrough in relatedness.
Without the baby, there is no parent. Without the parent, there is no empathy with the baby. The baby calls forth the parent’s spontaneous and natural empathy. The baby creates a clearing for parenting to show up as empathic or non-empathic or something in-between.
Without the customer, there is no business or business person. Without the business person, there is no empathy with the customer. The customer calls forth the business person’s natural and spontaneous empathy. The customer creates a clearing for the encounter with the business to show up as empathic or non-empathic or something in between.
Without the patient, there is no medical practice or medical doctoring. Without the MD, there is not empathy with the patient. The patient calls forth the MD’s natural and spontaneous empathy. The patient creates the clearing for the encounter with the doctor to show up as empathic or non-empathic or something in-between. Likewise, with the teacher and student, client and consultant, and neighors in the community.
However, surely the baby does not give a lecture with a Power Point. The baby needs to be on the receiving end of empathy before she or he can develop an ability to be empathic in an intentional way towards anyone else.
Though the empathic sensitivity of children should not be under-estimated, this is an important consideration. We must be recipients of our parents’ and care-takers’ empathy before we are able to turn around and provide empathy to Others, even as we practice empathy in immature, emerging, and developing ways as we grow up.
Yet even without being self-aware, the baby provides an opportunity and possibility for the parents’ empathy lessons. The baby provides a clearing for empathy lessons for the parents even without meaning to do so. The baby creates the possibility of empathic parenting by the baby’s readiness to become human, which at first shows up as a distinct lack of socialization. The baby cannot feed itself and empties its processed waste into its diapers.
The parent socializes the baby; the baby humanizes the parent, calling the parent not just to its role as parent (though it does that too), but also to its possibility as a human being in a committed relationship to another emerging human (the baby) through trial and error. The baby, by its very existence, gives the parent his humanness, making the parent into an inquirer into what it is to grow up, developing from an immature baby into an adult human.[iii]
Likewise, with the business customer: The customer does not tell the business owner, “I have a need but can’t explain it to you.” Instead, the customer just keeps shopping around. The customer does not tell the business person, “I have a complaint about the service, and I want you to listen to it and make amends.” Instead, the customer just takes his business to the competition.
In each case, the empathy lesson is a challenge to the would-be parent, teacher, sales person, consultant, therapist, nurse, attorney, taxi driver, neighbor, and so on, to expand one’s receptivity, enhance one’s grasp of the possibilities, appreciative different points of view, and practice rapid empathic response.
If each of these persons—parent, teacher, business person, neighbor, and so on—begin in any other way than with empathy, they are headed for trouble. The challenge is straightforward: expand one’s listening to include the other individual in the empathic community or fall back into empathic distress; relate from possibility or get mired in stuckness; work on building community or wander aimlessly in the emotional wilderness.

Episode art photo credit: David Axelrod interviews (confronts, debates, talks to) Senator Tom Cotton June 2, 2017 in a photo taken by Lou Agosta at the University of Chicago public debate. As one of the architects of Barack Obama’s presidential program, Ax (as he is affectionately known) would be likely to disagree with many of Senator Cotton’s more-or-less MAGA-oriented views. Take the other person as your empathy trainer! I believe both did!
(c) Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project
Notes
[i] Leslie Jamison. (2014). The empathy exams in The Empathy Exams: Essays. Minneapolis: Graywolf Press: 1–27.
[ii] Philip K. Dick. (1968). Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? New York: Ballentine Books, 1981.
[iii] Lou Agosta. (2010). Empathy in the Context of Philosophy. London: Palgrave: 60–61.
(c) Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project
Radical empathy is now a podcast!
Listen to the podcasts on Spotify:
Radical empathy is empathy defined as the practice of empathy that remains committed to empathizing in the face of empathic distress. Once again, it must be emphasized—and empathized—that one does not necessarily know one’s limits in dealing with trauma until they are tested in experience. Here are the three key distinctions between standard and radical empathy. 1. Radical empathy processes empathic distress whereas standard empathy is stopped by it. 2. Empathic distress is reliably occasioned and caused by physical trauma, moral trauma, soul murder, double binds, Trolley-car-like dilemmas (to be defined further)), and diverse tragic circumstances that are hard, if not impossible, to capture in standard uses of words and language. 3. Radical empathy is required when one or both of the would-be empathic partners is both a survivor and a perpetrator (which itself points to empathic distress). Given these three invariables, both standard and radical empathy share empathic receptivity, empathic understanding, empathic interpretation, and empathic responsiveness. I repeat: standard and radical empathy share receptivity, understanding, interpretation, and responsiveness. The differentiator is what happens with empathic distress. When one or more of these aspects of standard empathy breaks down or misfires, the repair or overcoming of the breakdown reliably presents the possibility of transforming standard into radical empathy. Radical empathy is not for the faint of heart, and instead of an image of puppies, the above painting, by Caravaggio, is a portrait of Medusa, whose hair was transformed into snakes, turning to stone (paralyzing) all those who met her and looked at her in person. If you are confronting trauma, be sure to bring your radical empathy.
Read / Listen to (subscribe to) this blog and A Rumor of Empathy on Spotify for further updates on radical empathy.
Short summary of episode one: This episode on Radical Empathy – what it is and why it is important – is the first in a series inquiring into radical empathy, what it is or whether it is just a rumor; how radical empathy differs from standard empathy; how radical empathy and everyday, standard empathy overlap and the dynamics of their interactions; how radical empathy makes a difference in situations when standard empathy breaks down and fails; and how the listener can expand his or her empathic skills, getting power over empathy and apply empathy in one’s lie, relationships, career, family, in the individual and in community.
The occasion for this podcast series on radical empathy is the publication of my new book Radical Empathy in the Context of Literature (April 2025 from Palgrave Macmillan). The suggestion is to have your local community or university or institute library order a copy. They have budget for these things and one can save a couple of dollars. This work on Radical Empathy contains many examples of empathy, both standard and radical, that are eye opening and engaging in their lessons for empathy and life.
Order books on empathy by Lou Agosta on empathy by searching for “Lou Agosta” and “empathy lessons” on your favorite online book source or click on this shortened URL: https://shorturl.at/gsGal
Image art credits: QWERTY, oil paint on board by Alex Zonis (AlexZonisart.com); The Shadow of Empathy (Doll Heads) by Alex Zonis (AlexZonisart.com; Head of Medusa by Caravaggio (Gallery of the Uffizi (Florence, Italy)) from Wikimedia Commons.
My empathy lessons – in the beginning
My empathy lessons started when I was about four years old. My Mom would tell me bedtime stories. Right before bed, she would weave a narrative out of the significant events of a day in the life of an “on the go,” four-year-old boy. She would make a whole out of my experiences by telling me a story about this imaginary boy—his name was “Doodle Bug.”
For example, in a favorite story, Doodle Bug would ride his tricycle, and he would go through the park to visit the Indian Chief. He would make a treaty with the Chief. Then he would ride to the bakery. At the bakery he would sample a selection of cookies and cakes. Always the talented young man, Doodle Bug would “stand on his noodle for apple strudel.”
In the moment, as a four-year-old, this was hilariously funny. I had no idea what apple strudel was, and when I found out a little later, I did not particularly like it. To me, the suspense in the story was palpable. Would the Indian Chief (surely a father figure) be open to a treaty or would hostilities break out as in the cowboy movies that were popular at the time? The rhyme with which the story ended released the suspense in the narrative. It was funny, provoking a laugh, and it brought the story to a satisfying, dramatic close, clearing the way for a soothing transition to sleep.
This was my Mom’s empathic response to a busy, on the go, growing boy. I acknowledge her for it; and my emotional life and future were richer thanks to her. She took my experiences on a given day, wove them into a nuanced narrative, and gave them back to me as a bedtime story. I recognized the experiences as my own. I recognized that she got who I was for her. Brilliant. I was mesmerized. I was spell bound. I was soothed. I was comforted. I was stimulated (but not too much). This was the empathic moment.
Mom was tuning down the day as she was tuning up the empathy for me. She was calming down the day as she was also tuning up my empathy for myself. I was empathically transitioned from a busy day to a state of restfulness and readiness for sleep without the anxieties that can sometimes accompany a child at bedtime.
This was not to say that my childhood was all rainbows and balloons. There were plenty of upsets, too. It is not that I never had anxieties, but, in this case, they were over shadowed by the good stuff. This is a fine example of things going just right for a change; and how empathic responsiveness made a positive difference in one young boy’s life.
Story time—narrative—gives back to the other person his own experience in a way that he can recognize and integrate it. In this case, Mom wove a narrative out of the events of the day, helping her child integrate his experiences. When the other person recognizes his own experience in the story, as I did, then the empathic loop is complete. I got empathy at the end of the day.
Note that, in this and similar situations, a lot of work has to occur prior to the story. The narrator (Mom, in this case) must have access to the events being woven into the story. Her empathic receptivity, empathic understanding, and empathic interpretation were activated and engaged. I hasten to add that the distinction “empathy” was not made explicit. This was just Mom being Mom—a parent doing here job and getting it just right.
Therefore, advice to parents: if you want to expand your empathy with your child, and your child’s empathy for her- or himself, have a bed time story. Bring the day to a close in an orderly way. If you can make up a story, so much the better. But not everyone is a natural born storyteller, as my Mom seems to have been. If you want to read a story, that is good, too. Pick something that you think will resonate with the child, or let the child decide what she or he wants. In the case of my daughter, after awhile, I read her whatever she requested. The genius of the “out there” and wholesome sense of humor of Richard Scarry for children of tender age also deserves honorable mention. The point is to have that time together—that, too, is the empathic moment.
Then when tough times occurred—I do not go into the details since my now grown-up daughter will read this—emerging adults learning how to handle things (and sometimes mishandling things), I went down to dorm and said, “Okay, get your stuff—you are coming home for awhile.” And, low and behold, she listened! She knew I was concerned about her and had her well-being in mind and she listened; and then she got a job for awhile and went back to school a year later. Now flourishing and working on flourishing in ways that were not visible at the time, this is not a fairy tale ending, but is perhaps good enough in this world of helicopter parents, absent parents, and failures to launch.
For those who would like a further inquiry into how empathy is defined – storytelling shows up in many contexts, but when it builds an empathic relationship, storytelling falls under “empathic responsiveness” –
Empathy consists of four parts or dimensions, which, in turn, form the integral whole of authentic relatedness between individuals in community. These four dimensions are receptivity, understanding, interpretation, and responsiveness:
- Empathic receptivity is the dimension of empathy that consists in being open to the other person’s feelings and experiences. It often presents as a vicarious experience.
- Empathic understanding is the dimension of empathy that engages the other person as possibility in his or her humanity. It often presents as possibilities of accomplishment, fulfillment, flourishing.
- Empathic interpretation is the dimension of empathy that takes a walk “in the other’s shoes,” the part corresponding to the folk definition of empathy. It often presents as shifts in perspective or points of view.
- Empathic responsiveness is that dimension of empathy that provides a gracious and generous listening as the source of a response that offers the other person her or his own experience back in a gesture, statement, story, or narrative. It often presents as a short narrative (“micro narrative”) or story, also called “rhetorical empathy.”
These four dimensions of a rigorous and critical empathy go around, but not exactly in a circle. One does not end up exactly where one started; one makes progress—progress up the winding and twisting hairpin curves of the mountain of human understanding. One goes “round the mountain,” ending up at the same coordinates at which one started, but higher up the mountain. Different perspectives open up as one goes up.
Those in the empathic relationship have advanced upward, coming back to where they started, but at a higher level, forming an upward spiral, round the mountain of empathic understanding of other human beings. (See Figure 1.)

Figure 1: How empathy works: The four dimensions of empathy
One can start at any point with any one of these dimensions and, as noted, go “round the mountain,” engaging the other three dimensions, forming the integrated whole that we call “empathy.” One has a different perspective on the relationship, one’s own contribution to it, and the other person’s role. One key empathy lesson that drives this work forward and gets repeated at important points is: the four dimensions of empathy are a coherent whole. All four dimensions of empathy (empathic receptivity, empathic understanding, empathic interpretation, and empathic responsiveness) link to one another in a round trip extending from receptivity to understanding, from understanding to interpretation, from interpretation to response, and back. One can start anywhere in the cycle, and go around covering all the bases and end up back with the distinction with which one started, albeit at a “higher” level. You start with empathy and end up with empathy, expanded and (to shift the directional metaphor) “deepened” empathy in relating to the other person and to the community made up of other persons.
References
This post is an except from –
Lou Agosta. (2018). Empathy Lessons. Chicago: Two Pears Press: pp. 38 – 42.
(c) Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project
Top Ten Empathy Trends for 2023
Empathy is a practice and priority, not a mere psychological mechanism. Practicing empathy is a way of being in the world, creating a safe space of openness, acceptance and toleration. In the face of a contagion of Omicron, we need a contagion of empathy. Empathy is contagious. This is a condition you actually want to share with someone else, especially someone who seems to need some empathy – all the while being clear to set firm boundaries against bullying, delusional thinking, and compassion fatigue. Keep in mind this list is a top ten “count down,” so if you want to know what is #1, fast forward to the bottom.
Here are my choices and predictions for the top ten trends in empathy for the year 2023.
10 – Empathy for the jurors in the trial of the century. The prediction is that Mr T will stick to his story – “we was robbed” – even after he is indicated, believing there is no such thing as bad publicity. The prospective defendant is innocent until proven guilty and so on. However, it is noteable that a former-NSA analyst was sentenced to nine years in prison in July 2019 for hoarding official documents [https://www.nextgov.com/cybersecurity/2019/07/ex-nsa-contractor-serve-9-years-hoarding-classified-information/158564/]. This seems open and shut. Nevertheless, this trend is about the jurors and not the defendant. This promises to be a long, headline-grabbing trial, and the jury will have to be sequestered, cut off from news, and, subjected to a lot of legal jargon. Being without Facebook and Twitter and other
is. While the challenges of finding an unbiased jury are not trivial, all that is needed for a fair trial are twelve people who are willing to set aside their opinions and look at the facts from the point of view of the law as defined for them by the presiding judge. That sounds like creating a space for critical thinking and taking multiple points of view, the latter the folk definition of empathy.
9 – Empathy in time of war becomes Red Team not kindness. All the empathy in the world is not going to help anyone if one country invades another with a list of intellectuals, business people, and politicians to be arrested and killed. That noted, the need for helping, compassion, and good works of all kinds is still on the critical path to building a better world. Yet in time of war or threat of war, the power of empathy consists in putting oneself in the shoes of the opponent, thinking like the opponent, and thereby anticipating and thwarting the opponent’s moves. Putting oneself in the opponent’s shoes requires taking off one’s own shoes first. Never underestimate the power of empathy – never – yet empathy does not work very well with psychopaths, bullies, totalitarian dictators, and the criminally insane. Many of these individuals will take the affective, bottom up empathy and use it against you. Therefore, empathic engagement must be limited to cognitive empathy – use critical thinking to try to figure out what the Other is thinking and feeling in order to intervene in a way that is useful according the standards of a humane community.
8 – Elon “44 billion up in smoke” Musk gets empathy for his employees, customers, and stakeholders. And if you believe prediction, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn that I would like to sell to you. The empathic truth of this admittedly cynical prediction is that many of the things that make a person good at business make him or her relatively poor empathizers. Business leaders lose contact with what clients and consumers are experiencing as the leaders get entangled in innovating the technologies in new products and services, solving legal issues, reacting to the competition, or implementing the software required to sustain operations. Yet empathy is the ultimate Capitalist Tool. Empathy is on the critical path for serving customers, segmenting markets, positioning products (and substitutes), taking the perspective of the competition [not exactly empathy but close enough?], building teams and being a leader who actually has followers. Saying that the purpose of business is to make money is like saying the purpose of life is to breathe. Definitely do not stop breathing. The purpose of business is to deliver value and satisfaction to customers. Then the revenue shows up. When the ontology of empathy exposes it as the foundation of community, then expanding empathy becomes nearly synonymous with expanding business. For example, building customer communities, building stakeholder communities, team building, are the basis for brand loyalty, employee commitment, and sustained or growing market share. Can revenue be far behind? Sometimes leaders don’t need more data, we need expanded empathy, though ultimately both are on the path to satisfied buyers, employees, and stakeholders. “CEO” no longer means “Chief Executive Officer,” but “Chief Empathy Officer.” This time one can hear the groans—from the executive suite, not the cubicles.:
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6nngUdemxAnCd2B2wfw6Q6 Empathy is one of those things that are hard to delegate. This role shows up like another job responsibility with which the CEO of the organization is tasked—along with everything else that she already has to do. As if she did not already have enough alligators snapping at various parts of her anatomy, one has to be nice about it, too? But of course empathy is not niceness, though it is not about being un-nice. It is about knowing what others are experiencing, because one has a vicarious experience and then processing that further to expand boundaries and exercise leadership.
7 – Etiquette Gurus and celebrity life coaches go back to school to learn empathy. The latest poster child for this trend is Sara Jane Ho, who reportedly broke up with her boyfriend of four years over text, and rationalizes it with a meme about context, in which the context sounded like she was busy making a Netflix show. This is right up there with trend #8, getting fired by a Twitter tweet. The context, according to the author of the article, Maureen O’Connor, was that Ms Ho’s eyes were getting puffy from crying, and she would not “look good” on her Netflix show. Empathy is a high bar and one does not get there every day. If Ms Ho’s resume is to be believed, she is a graduate of Phillips Exeter Academy, Georgetown, Harvard (attended), and now a Netflix sensation. One speculates that she is a survivor of a Tiger Mom or Bootcamp Dad (or both), and may herself benefit from getting a good listening at the side of a committed mentor. Based on the review of Ms Ho’s project by Maureen O’Connor [ https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/02/style/sara-jane-ho-mind-your-matters.html], she (Ms Ho) exemplifies the kind of etiquette which is a disguised application of sadism, hostility, aggression, and one-upmanship. While I do not know the details and maybe I am missing the humor, but so far, all these people are easy to dislike. You go to take off your coat and you can’t because there is a knife in your back. There is nothing wrong – but something is definitely missing – empathy.
6 – Empathy is a practice not a mere psychological mechanism. Empathy is the practice of authentically relating to the other person. The practice of empathy is a way of being – being with and in relation with others. Many of the misunderstandings of empathy – especially in the form of compassion, pity, emotional contagion – can be traced to treating the practice of empathy merely as a psychological mechanism. There is nothing wrong with this as such. However, what gets missed is the relational quality of empathy. Drive out bullying, hostility, aggression, bad language, and empathy naturally comes forth. People want to be empathic if given half a chance.
5 – Empathy expands for the True Believer, but not agreement with the conspiracy or delusion. The criteria for identifying the True Believer is he or she doubles down. When the space does not arrive from Alpha Centauri – or your candidate does not win – the True Believer does not say, “I might have been mistaken and maybe I need to look at my assumptions or inquire into other scenarios.” The True Believer doubles down – “We was robbed!” “We will catch the next space ship!” It does no good – none – to disagree with the True Believer or to argue or reason, because the delusion or conspiracy theory is holding together the True Believer’s personality. To give up the delusion would be to give up the personality, to risk the disintegration of who the person is. What to do about it? Teach critical thinking. Both empathy and critical thinking create a space of acceptance and tolerance in the context of which the power of the delusion starts to shrink. More on this in the next trend.
4 – Empathy and critical thinking form an alliance. It is a bold statement of the obvious that the ongoing breakdown in community standards bodes ill for a cultural and political and public conversation context in which disputants engage in near delusional disagreement on basic quantitative facts such as the rules of etiquette, basic science such as the biology of vaccinations, gender distinction (or not), the basic results of elections, and so on. Though it is not a quick solution, it is hard to think of a better one: teach skills in critical thinking such as assessing facts against sources, evaluating the reliability of sources, reporters, informants, and so on, against prior performance, checking validity and logic of arguments, and engaging enlarged thinking in taking the point of view of the other person, especially if the person (or group) disagrees with one. (See Jonathan Haber, (2020), Critical Thinking. Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press.) Taking different points of view, of course, is the basic folk definition of empathy. But do not forget to take off one’s own shoes before trying on the other’s or one will get projection, not empathy.
3 – Translation replaces projection as the underlying model for empathy. “Translation” as in translating between languages or between different artistic media or different signaling systems. In short, psychologism – psychology in the negative sense – is replaced by the linguistic speech act of translating the other person’s experience into one’s own and then giving it back (empathically) to the other. This paradigm of empathy as translation is arguably at the same level of generality as empathy as projection, but remained undeveloped until the rise of hermeneutics along a separate trajectory. The modern innovators of interpersonal empathy such as Carl Rogers (1902–1987) might be read as leap-frogging back to the original sense of entering the other’s world in order to translate it into the first person, subject’s own terms. The translation model of empathy (credited to Johann Herder (1744 – 1803) of whom one rarely hears today) also fits well with what Gordon Allport (1897–1967) and Kenneth Clark (1903–1983) were doing in arraying empathy against racism and prejudice in expanding the boundaries of community by empathically translating between them. An entire possible alternate history of empathy, as yet unwritten, opens up at this point – empathy as translation between persons.
2 – Empathy for the Amazon rain forest grows and reaches a critical mass, but will its critical mass be enough or too late to overtake the “critical mass” of green house gases. The challenge is that global warming does not live like an actual possibility for most people, who cannot imagine such an outcome – for example, just as in December 2019 no one could envision the 2020 global pandemic. Empathy is oxygen for the soul. If the human psyche does not get empathy, it suffocates. Climate changes makes this metaphor actual. If humanity does not drown as the massive Greenland and Antarctic ice sheaths slide into the oceans, humans will suffocate as the levels of green house gases and heat overwhelm temperate habitats. There is no Planet B.Empathy is a bridge: The bridge between the gridlocked present and a seemingly impossible-to-imagine future is empathy. The empathic moment is an act of imagination. That is the interesting thing about empathy. It may seem like a dream; but the dream lives. It is inclusive. Lots more work needs to be done on this connection. For purposes of this list of predictions, this “shout out” will have to suffice. For specific actionable recommendations, see David Attenborough’s A Life on Our Planet, now streaming on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/80216393
2a – Vaccine deniers get empathy and say: “Oh, I wish I were already experiencing the minor side effects of the latest booster shot instead of systemic organ breakdown!” People get the latest booster against Covid, parents get their children the measles and polio and other shots the children need for school, which gets into people’s arms at an accelerating rate. Vaccine deniers get empathy and say: “Oh, I wish I were already experiencing the minor side effects of the latest booster shot instead of systemic organ breakdown!” Biological science continues to produce small, medium, and large “miracles,” even as basic health care services for citizen’s struggle. People become medical doctors and nurses and enter the healthcare field because they want to make a difference. They experience an empathic calling to intervene to reduce the pain and suffering in the world. Then these same people get caught up in the faceless, unempathic bureaucracy of a healthcare system where capitation means doctors have to see an unworkable number of patients a day – four an hour for eight hours. Using empathy and medical ethics, the doctors push back saying: “I am required by medical ethics to spend as much time with the patient as is needed to get the patient the medical treatment they require – and are entitled to be paid for it.
2b – Men lead from empathy in the struggle against domestic violence (DV). When powerful men such as Bezos, Musk, Ellison, Gates, Biden, Milley, clean up their failures of leadership and take action saying “Violence against women anywhere – home or work or anywhere – is unacceptable and here are the resources for intervention,” then a breakthrough will occur. Men will find their voice and speak out even more loudly and provide leadership against domestic violence to those of their own gender who just do not get it.
While women have provided the leadership and will continue to do so, powerful men must step up and provide guidance to their fellows about proper boundaries and respect for them in relationships. This is ongoing. What is new: powerful men step up and speak out and provide leadership among men in establishing respect for boundaries in creating communication, affection, and affinity.
For data- and empathy-based innovations that have occurred in the past year in the fight against domestic violence see No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us, New York: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2019. Some sixty percent of domestic violence (DV) victims are strangled at some point during an abusive relationship (p. 65): Big red flag that the perpetrator is escalating in the direction of homicide/Femicide.
Empathy almost always has its uses when tuned to the specific circumstances. Yet empathy is unhelpful in dealing with sociopaths, psychopaths, and [most] bullies. They take whatever empathy you give them and use it the better to manipulate. Top down, cognitive empathy – yes – to understand whether they are a threat and are going to escalate; but therapeutic empathy – “i get you, bro” – is often counter productive. What is productive? Set limits. Set firm boundaries – and enforce them.
Turns out that only some 15% of the victims in one study had injuries visible enough to photograph for the police report (p. 66). Most strangulation injuries are internal – hence, the title. Good news/bad news: The Fatality Review Board is an idea that is getting attention with law enforcement and the local states attorney function. More progress and action is needed in this area.
(1) People stop saying, “I just don’t get empathy” and commit to the practice of empathy. Empathy is a practice and, like all practices, it can be improved by training. Remove the obstacles to empathy such as cynicism and bullying—and empathy comes forth. Remove the resistances to empathy and empathy naturally and spontaneously expands. Most people are naturally empathic.
The one-minute empathy training is trending: Eliminate the obstacles to empathy and a space of acceptance and toleration spontaneously emerges.
Most people do not sufficiently appreciate this: people are born with a deep and natural capacity for empathy, but they are also born needing to learn manners, respect for boundaries, and toilet training. Put the mess in the designated place or the community suffers from diseases. People also need to learn how to read and do arithmetic and communicate in writing. But there is a genuine sense in which learning to conform and follow all the rules does not expand our empathy or our community. It does not help the cause of expanded empathy that rule-making and the drumbeat of compliance are growing by leaps and bounds.
The work at hand? Remove the blocks to empathy such as dignity violations, devaluing language, gossip, shame, guilt, egocentrism, over-identification, lack of integrity, inauthenticity, hypocrisy, making excuses, finger pointing, jealousy, envy, put downs, being righteous, stress, burnout, compassion fatigue, cynicism, censorship, denial, manipulation, competing to be the biggest victim, insults, injuries to self-esteem, and narcissistic merger—and empathy spontaneously expands, develops, and blossoms. Now that is going to require some work!
Teaching empathy consists in overcoming the obstacles to empathy that people have acquired. When the barriers are overcome, then empathy spontaneously develops, grows, comes forth, and expands. There is no catch, no “gotcha.” That is the one-minute empathy training, pure-and-simple.
References and Notes
“The One-Minute Empathy Training”
May I introduce myself? Here is a short introduction to who i am and my commitment to empathy, including a one-minute empathy training. Total run time: about five minutes. Further data: See also
(c) Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project


