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Top ten empathy trends in 2026

Here are the top empathy trends for 2026. This is a long read (a half an hour), and the recommendation is to engage with one or two trends a session. Spend the entire first quarter of 2026 with it. In addition, it is a top ten list, but not a “count down.” Therefore, the most important trends—in the sense of new, disruptive, innovative, or provocative—are towards the top. 

(Image credit: Kids with colander-based “gizmos” as “thinking caps,” www.EmpathyLab.uk—see trend (9) below.)

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(1) Automating Empathy and large language models (LLMs): The idea is that you, the client, are going to get empathy from a software bot, app, empathy platform solution, that is able to have a conversation thanks to a so-called a large language model (LLM). 

The trend of bringing large language models to empathy and empathic relatedness is a game changer. The question is not whether the generative AI can be empathic, but the extent to which the designers are able to distinguish responsiveness from “stroking one’s ego,” sycophancy (servile flattery), and the extent to which prospective clients decide to engage (both open questions at this date (Q1 2026)). 

Thus, the prognosis is mixed. Is automating empathy a silver bullet—or even a good enough lead bullet—to expand empathy for the individual and community and to do so at scale. Key term: “at scale,” which means the service can be “scaled up” to accommodate thousands of people, who are currently “wait listed” for therapy with limited prospects of ever getting off the list. Can the automation address Henry David Thoreau’s “modern mass of men [persons] leading lives of quiet desperation”? Or is the “empathy bot” the cyber age equivalent of a blow-up sex doll for the socially awkward person playing small and resistant to getting out of the person’s comfort zone?

The year ahead promises a proliferation of applications, bots, and services that offer automated conflict resolution, talk therapy, empathy consulting, and companionship. For example: mendful (https://www.mendful.world), empathy.com (bereavement support—that a demo is being offered suggests an app plus services), Google’s conflict resolution app (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.tuinfoapps.conflict&pli=1). (This list is far from complete.) 

An important question to ask is about an automated empathy bot or app: How readily is an authentic, qualified human being available to engage in an initial or follow-up conversation? At the risk of ending on a cynical note, given the sorry state of human relations as demonstrated in the news of the day, maybe, just maybe, any form of expanded empathy, whether fake or authentic, if properly managed to mitigate harm, is a useful contribution. (Further on empathy and toxic flattery:  https://wapo.st/4sndC9O . Also see my blog post from earlier 2025: https://empathylessons.com/2025/11/04/automating-empathy-issues-and-answers/ 

(2) Suicidal Empathy: This is definitely trending after a certain billionaire provocatively asserted that empathy was a defect of western civilization, even if he did try to take back the assertion. The short version of suicidal empathy is as follows. We are in a lifeboat which is filled to the maximum after our ship sank. You read right—our ship sank. In the water, treading water, surrounding the lifeboat are additional survivors and additional leaky lifeboats at high risk of sinking, leaving the survivors treading water. If the survivors in our still afloat lifeboat are “empathic” and take in the other survivors, then our lifeboat will be swamped, and we will all drown. The conclusion is that in such extreme situations, which are more common than one might imagine, empathy needs to be turned off—or at least dialed down significantly—lest we all perish. This position has been advocated from time-to-time by Elon Musk, Garrett Hardin (1974), and anti-immigration Nativists in one form or another. 

Yet even in the face of lifeboat ethics, empathy remains indispensable. How so? If one is in a life-boat, then one is by definition a survivor. Your ship sank! That is a necessary part of the definition of a lifeboat and being in a lifeboat. You were cast into the vast, seemingly boundless sea. Never underestimate the importance of empathy for those in extremis, but even more than empathy, the occupants of the lifeboat need rescue. To be in a lifeboat and not need rescue is a contradiction in terms. If one recognizes the need for rescue, then the whole scenario of lifeboat ethics gets sent back to the drawing board. 

The idea of our entire planet (Earth) as a lifeboat is a thought experiment. An imaginary narrative (scenario) designed to generate ideas and intuitions (nod here to the philosopher Daniel Dennett). In this case, the trick is to constrain agency using scarcity of resources (seats in the lifeboat) and see what happens. This exposes the entire lifeboat scenario mechanism for constraining, compromising, and denying agency to the participants in the dilemma. Key term: agency.

The approach of lifeboat ethics is based on a fallacy that the situation of scarcity is an unavoidable one—an inevitable continency. On the contrary, scarcity is being manufactured by bad actors, bad politics, and out-and-out human aggression. As such, the scarcity can and should be undone by actors with better (including empathic) motives in order to restore the community to a benchmark standard human functioning. This is consistent with natural disasters creating local calamities that cause scarcity. It is also consistent with disagreements about what constitutes an emergency. The point is to send in emergency services and (for example) the national guard to deliver or air drop palettes of drinkable water, canvas for tents, and provisions, not to shoot the survivors as a burden to the community (the latter following the logic of the lifeboat to its absurd conclusion). 

Returning to the basic metaphor, empathy is no more to blame for overloading the lifeboat than carpentry is to blame for the fact that Roman soldiers used hammer and nails to execute condemned criminal and political enemies by crucifying them. Without practice, empathy can go astray as emotional contagion, projection, conformity, and communications lost in translation. 

Being generous to a fault or has never been a requirement for empathy. Altruistic suicide (the soldier falling on the hand grenade to save his comrades) has never been a requirement for empathy. Never. With practice, a rigorous and critical empathy sets boundaries, establishes limits, and creates a whole that is more than the sum of its parts. 

A rigorous and critical empathy belongs to a short list of things such as dignity, respect, compassion, neighborliness, and forms of spiritual love, and are not quantifiable as zero-sum phenomena. This is an important idea: more empathy for you does not mean less empathy for me. 

For example, if I give you a slice of my chocolate cake, I have less cake. However, if I give you empathy, by giving you a good listening, we both have expanded empathy. Empathy is non-additive—and so empathy is also a non-subtractive, humanizing encounter in which my own humanity is enriched in contributing to another person. A rigorous and critical empathy is not quantifiable like chocolate cake. Granted that our topic is difficult and significant, we can enjoy lighter moment—there is enough food to go around, but definitely not enough chocolate cake! Like food, there is enough empathy to go around, but it does not seem that way, because we have not been effective in driving out the obstacles to empathy such as aggression, hostility, bullying, using food as a weapon, and politics in the negative, pejorative sense. Also see my blog post from earlier 2025:

[https://empathylessons.com/2025/05/22/suicidal-empathy/ ]

(3) Rhetorical empathy: The paradigm, ideal case for rhetorical empathy is exemplified by Malcolm-X’s statement to his colleagues at the founding of the organization of African American Unity, “We are not the pilgrims […] We didn’t land on Plymouth Rock; the rock was landed on us [loud laughter and applause]”  (https://youtu.be/3Aq2Z0i8D6A?si=dkYo6QKCrgK2fWXL). 

In rhetorical empathy, the speaker’s words address the listening of the audience or other person (“Other”) in such a way as to leave the Other with the experience of having been heard. This must seem counter-intuitive since it is the Other that is doing the listening. The hidden variable is that the speaker knows the Other in the sense that she or he has walked a mile in their shoes (after having taken off her/his own) and can articulate the experience the audience is implicitly harboring in their hearts yet have been unable to express.  

For more details on rhetorical empathy, see the separate blog post:  post: https://empathylessons.com/2023/04/09/rhetorical-empathy-a-primer/

Also see the peer-reviewed academic article: “Rhetorical empathy in the context of ontology,” Turning Toward Being: The Journal of Ontological Inquiry in Education: (2024) Vol. 2: Issue 1, Article 5. Available at: https://rdw.rowan.edu/joie/vol2/iss1/5

(4) Empathy and autism: Alternative facts, dangerous half-truths, damn lies—and empathy

How shall I express it delicately? The inmates are now in charge of the asylum over at the US Health and Human Services (HHS). Having a worm in one’s brain deservers our empathy; having a worm in one’s thinking does not—see below regarding critical thinking. 

Autism is often considered a disorder of empathy—at the risk of oversimplifying, the autistic person is not able to shift perspectives and take the other person’s point of view or do so as readily as neuro-typical persons. Never dismiss empathy. Nor the value in expanding empathy. Never. Yet the matter is a lot more complicated than that. 

Public debate about autism and empathy has been scrambled by misinformation about how vaccines may influence the disorder. It is distressing to see what passes for political leadership send children and families down yet another over-simplified and near delusional detour. In a more promising approach using Big Data, scientists at the Flatiron Institute and Princeton have presented evidence that autism presents in four distinct ways or subtypes. Quoting from the Washington Post summary (https://wapo.st/44V7lZb):

  • Broadly affected: The smallest group — about 10 percent of participants — faced the steepest challenges, marked by developmental delays, difficulties with communication and social interaction, and repetitive behaviors that touched nearly every part of life.
  • Mixed autism with developmental delay: Roughly 19 percent showed early developmental delays but few signs of anxiety, depression or disruptive behavior. Researchers call this group “mixed” because its members vary widely in how strongly they display social or repetitive behaviors.
  • Moderate challenges: About a third of participants fell into this group, showing the hallmark traits of autism — social and communication differences and repetitive habits — but in subtler ways and without developmental delays.
  • Social and/or behavioral: The largest group, around 37 percent, met early developmental milestones on time yet often grappled with other conditions later on, including ADHD, anxiety, depression or obsessive-compulsive disorder.

For the peer-reviewed paper, which is dense and heavy with computational biology see: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41588-025-02224-z . 

These different subtypes suggest a source of much of the confusion in diagnosis and treatment. Parents, medical professionals, and educators and talking past one another because they are addressing the different subtypes. 

Naturally, everyone would like a quick fix: Give ‘em vitamin B9—problem solved! Wouldn’t it be nice? (Nor is there anything wrong with vitamin B9—but it ain’t gonna cure autism.) While expanded understanding and diagnostic possibilities point to enhanced treatment interventions, what is less good news is that treatments remain complex, multi-modal, time and labor intensive, and, therefore, expensive. Behavioral interventions are demonstrably effective in improving recognizing social clues and expanding social skills. Selective, limited use of psychopharmacology is effective in addressing attention deficit and hyperactivity, though one must always be concerned in medicating young brains. Working from the inside out, e.g., play therapy is effective in dealing with anxiety and depression. In every case, creating an empathic environment of toleration, limit setting, and meeting the children (and parents) where they are struggling is on the critical path to success. 

(4) Empathy versus cruelty and unelected puppet masters in politics: Presumably a statement that “empathy is a weakness” (see above (2)) would be a justification of the unempathic “slash and burn” methods of the “unelected puppet masters” at the US Depart of Doge [pronounce: “dog”], the so-called US Department of Government of Efficiency, showing up at the US IRS and Social Security offices and so on and demanding to see confidential citizen data and/or seemingly randomly sending employees home (“firing” them). While a “controlled burn” of the bureaucratic growth of the federal government forest underbrush might indeed be the empathic thing to do—or at least needed “tough love,” shutting down entire departments and mass layoffs is not an example of it. This is the “uncontrolled burn” (shout out to Garrett Smith for the term).

What Stephen Miller (Deputy White House Chief of Staff) and Russell Vought (Office of Management and Budget / Project 2025) do not point out is that empathy does not work with bullies or abusers, who will take whatever vulnerability you may exhibit and use it against you. This is also the case with anti-social personality disorder, psychopaths, and individuals with an undeveloped or defective conscience, who struggle to tell right from wrong. I hasten to add that without interviewing the individual, one has no way of knowing the individual’s mental status, whether the individual is in integrity or out of it. 

Another possibility is that the individual is projecting the individual’s own unreliable, defective empathy onto the community as an empathic defect. Many of those who lack empathy are hungry for it. If ever there was a disqualifying statement by a would-be administrator or leader, Elon Musk’s soundbite about empathy being a defect of civilization would be it. Even if he took it back, I assert that it shows his “true colors”. However, a further agenda lurks nearby.

In the face of bullying, a critical and rigorous empathy sets limits, speaks truth to power, establishes boundaries, pushes back against attempts to control, dominate, and manipulate. One must not overlook the power of top down, cognitive empathy in thinking like one’s opponent in order to overcome him. “Top down,” cognitive empathy is detailed in Mikah Zenko’s Red Team! (Basic Books 2015) according to which taking a walk in the other’s shoes (the folk definition of empathy) provides advantages in relationships, business, politics, and building communities that are thrive on cooperation, communication, coordination, and inclusiveness. Short review: Think like one’s opponents, to come out on top. 

If one were looking for a short disqualifying reason to sideline unelected puppet masters such as Musk and fellow traveler Stephen Miller (see more on the latter on the South Poverty Law Project’s report on racism and anti-immigration hate groups), this is it. I leave it to the reader to figure out who is the puppet.

(5) Empathy and immigration and murder most foul: more alternative facts, dangerous half-truths and total nonsense: That these United States of America are a federated nation of immigrants is a cold fact. Most of the people living here would not be here if their parents, grandparents, or great grandparents had not arrived from some land across the sea. To be sure, there are exceptions—and it is an also a fact that if one reads the treaties that the US government made with Native Americans, that Oklahoma really does belong to the Native Americans. Likewise, as Malcolm-X said to a crowd in Harlem to responses of “Amen!” and boisterous laughter, “You did not land on Plymouth rock; Plymouth rock landed on you!” (See (2) above.) Still, residents already living here are not interested in changing the devil they know for the devil they don’t know. 

The following quote is not from the “take over” of Venezuela (ongoing), but the action of the border patrol and ICE in Chicago’s Hispanic neighborhood: 

“[…] [I]t’s been a parade of nightmares — armed men in balaclavas on the streets, migrants sent to a torture prison in El Salvador, corruption on a scale undreamed of by even the gaudiest third-world dictators and the shocking capitulation by many leaders in business, law, media and academia. Trying to wrap one’s mind around the scale of civic destruction wrought in just 11 months stretches the limits of the imagination, like conceptualizing light-years or black holes.” [https://www.nytimes.com/2025/12/26/opinion/trump-weaker-resistance-stronger.html?unlocked_article_code=1._k8.NEnL.4kvmeqa-xzC4&smid=url-share

It is a breakdown of empathy that a nation of immigrants is flat out persecuting, oppressing, and hounding mostly, but not exclusively, Hispanics and people with brown skin. Demoralizing. Disgraceful. Criminal?

Everyone wants to deport undocumented murderers, rapists, gang members, and bad actors. Everyone. Yet that is not what we saw from ICE/BP actions in Chicago where Hispanic-appearing bus boys in restaurants, day laborers in Home Deport parking lots, nannies at preschools (?!), street vendors selling tacos, block party gatherings in Latino neighborhoods were targeted and where tear gas, flash bang grenades, shots to the head with high-speed paint balls (aimed at peacefully protesting pastors), and other chemicals agents were used without warning. This just in: mother of three shot, killed by ICE/BP: Are you getting the message? Murder most foul![https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/08/opinion/renee-good-minnesota-shooting-ice.html?unlocked_article_code=1.DlA.y2Fb.N6f9Vobf-Vmv&smid=url-share]

The administration’s narrative (Secretary of Homeland Insecurity Noem, etc) has NEVER matched the actions on the ground in the community neighborhoods. According to the Chicago Tribute—of 624 arrests reported by ICE/BP to the court some 16 persons had criminal records (“worst of the worst”). That is 2.5 percent. Underwhelming, demoralizing, appalling. 

The call to action employs empathy to network and build community. Get a whistle and use it. Two short tweets for ICE Spotted—one long one for someone being detained. Build local networks of citizen observers. Urge local law enforcement to arrest anyone who breaks the law, including federal officers acting illegally. No one said this was going to be easy. We Americans have options and resources that were not available to the residents of Weimar Germany in 1933, who were noticeably lacking in whistles. Okay, not funny. 

(Update 01/28/2026: https://www.wsj.com/opinion/is-trump-derangement-syndrome-real-a603e4a1?st=AnbPxi&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink)

(6) Radical empathy and trauma: Cathy Caruth (1996) concisely defines trauma in terms of an experience that is registered but not experienced, a truth or reality that is not available to the survivor as a standard experience. The person (for example) was factually, objectively present when the head on collision occurred, but, even if the person has memories, and would acknowledge the event, paradoxically, the person does not presently experience it as something the person experienced in a way that a person standardly experienced the past event. 

The survivor experiences dissociated, repetitive nightmares, flashbacks, and depersonalization. Strictly speaking, the challenge is not only that the would-be empathizer was not with the surviving Other when the survivor experienced the life-threatening trauma, but the survivor was physically present yet did not have the experience in such a way as to experience it. That may sound strange that the survivor did not experience the experience. Once again, one searches for words to capture an experience one did not experience. That is Caruth’s (1996) definition of “unclaimed” experience.

Moral trauma adds a challenging twist to what is traumatic about trauma. What is little recognized is that many survivors are also perpetrators (and vice versa). The survivor may also unwittingly (or even intentionally) become a perpetrator. The incarcerated prisoner of conscience steals a piece of bread from another prisoner, or to save his own life, falsely accuses another. One wants to say: This is tragic in the strict sense. The characters in ancient Greek tragic theater, including Oedipus, Phaedra, Medea, practically the whole House of Atrius, are all both survivors and perpetrators. 

Moral trauma is defined as the distressing emotional, behavioral, social, and sometimes spiritual aftermath of exposure to (including participation in) events in which a person’s moral boundaries are violated and in which individuals or groups are gravely injured, killed, or credible threat thereof is enacted (i.e., individuals are physically traumatized). Examples of moral trauma include such things as being put in a situation where “I will kill you if you do not kill this person.” 

Generalizing on the latter example, the list includes morally fraught instances of double binds, valid military orders that result in unintentional harm to innocent people, situations in which survivors become perpetrators (and vice versa), soul murder (defined as killing the possibility of empathy and/or killing the possibility of possibility), and the Trolley Car Dilemma (Anonymous Wikipedia Content 2012, Foot 1967, Thomson 1976). In moral trauma people become both perpetrators and survivors, and such an outcome is characteristic of many (though not all) moral traumas. 

Here radical empathy comes into its own. A person is asked to make a decision that no one should have to make. A person is asked to make a decision that no one is able to make—and yet the person makes the decision anyway, even if the person does nothing, because doing nothing is making a decision. A person is asked to make a decision that no one is entitled to make, which include most decisions about who should live or die (or be gravely injured). The result is moral trauma—the person is both a perpetrator and a survivor. Now empathize with that. No one said it would be easy. 

Hence, the need for radical empathy. Extreme situations—that threaten death or dismemberment—call forth radical empathy. Standard empathy is challenged by extreme situations out of remote, hard-to-grasp experiences to become radical empathy. Radical empathy remains committed to empathizing with the Other in the face of the breakdown of standard empathy as empathic distress. (For further on radical empathy, see the separate blog post: https://empathylessons.com/2025/08/22/a-concise-talk-on-trauma-and-radical-empathy/and see also the Reference Agosta 2025 below.) The treatment or therapy consists of the survivor re-experiencing the trauma vicariously from a place of safety, an empathic space of acceptance and tolerance. In doing so the trauma starts losing its power and when it returns, it does so with less force, eventually becoming a distant unhappy and painful but not overwhelming memory.

(7) Empathy and art: Heinz Kohut, MD, (1971) pointed out that one result of depth psychological therapy with a strong orientation on empathy was an expansion of the individual’s appreciation or art, humor, and practical wisdom. What is the converse were also the case? Engaging with art and music, the Humanities and literature, theatre, rhetoric and languages, opens up areas of the brain that map directly to empathy and powerfully activate empathy. 

Relating to the work of art, including literary fiction such as the novel, aesthetically and relating to the Other empathically is an intersection that has been noted by one of the innovators of personality theory, Gordon Allport (1897–1967), He was one of the pioneers of personality theory with his Personality: A Psychological Interpretation (New York: Holt 1937), in which he writes: 

It has often been said by the advocates of empathy that the “understanding of a personality is like the understanding of a work of art” (1937:  531). 

These advocates of empathy were not anonymous Others but Allport’s teacher, Herbert Langfeld (1879–1958), also a psychologist and president of the American Psychological Association and his colleagues. Langfeld was the author of The Aesthetic Attitude (1920: vi): “the motor theory of mind, namely that to every stimulus which the organism receives from without, it makes a definite response” resulting in the “tendency of the observer to project himself” into objects and body. 

As noted, psychologists and health professionals have repeatedly alluded to such benefits of expanded empathy as an increased sense of humor, appreciation for art and music, as well as an enhanced capacity to enjoy life itself. Attention to fine-grained distinctions in an individual’s experience of other individuals is hypothesized to be transferable across domains such as the experience of art, humor, and engaging with others. Expand your empathy—go to the art museum—go to a concert—read immersive fiction, a novel.

(8) Empathy is the new love: People want to be listened to. People want to feel as if they have been heard—people want to be heard. People want to be gotten for they authentically are as a possibility. People want others to appreciate from where they are coming—their point of view. People want to be acknowledged, recognized, appreciated for their contribution. Empathy delivers all these ways of relating and more. 

If empathy is the new love, then what is the old love? Folk wisdom suggests that love is blind; Plato, that love is a kind of madness, sometimes divine madness, sometimes just plain ordinary, everyday craziness—the one who is in love is semi-hypnotically held in bondage by an idealized depiction of the beloved, overlooking the partner’s failings and limitations; Bob Dylan, that love is just a four-letter word. So far, love sounds like tertiary syphilis—it makes one mad and causes one to go blind.

Less cynically, no one should have to choose between empathy and love in their positive dimensions. Talking Greek here, love includes eros—the erotic dimension, which gets a lot of attention as romantic relationships and aim-inhibited sexuality; philias—friendship between peers in building a community of fellow travelers; and agape—the spiritual love often attributed to Saint Paul for a higher power towards which humanity strives in its own clumsy and stumbling ways. 

A fourth item may usefully be added to the list—the love of a mother, parent, or care-taker for the infant, neonate, or child of tender art. The sound of a crying baby has the power to wake most grown-ups out of the deepest sleep—and that is because we care. Letting the anxious infant merge with the parent’s soothing calmness satisfies criteria for both love and empathy, and may be the common matrix out of which these come forth. 

Especially from a romantic perspective, the goal of love is to erase the boundary between the self and Other. (But also see above on the merge of the anxious infant with the calm adult.) Merger of one’s mind and body with the beloved is the aspiration and, at least temporarily, the outcome. 

In contrast to love, empathy navigates the boundary between oneself and Other such that the distinction between self and Other is sustained—any merger is temporary and transient—one has a vicarious experience of the Other and the integrity of self and Other are maintained. Thus, love and empathy have a different relationship to the boundary between self and Other. Empathy is committed to a firm, albeit semi-permeable boundary; whereas, especially in its more enthusiastic forms, love celebrates the cancelling of the boundary, though ultimately acknowledging the reality of the distinction self/Other.

(9) Reading and empathizing: “A good book is an empathy engine”—Chris Riddell, UK Children’s Laurate. Many analogies exist between reading a text and empathizing with another person. This is not a mere analogical argument. The practices of empathy and reading are applying the same underlying micro-practices, skills, techniques, and methods. Reading literature (we are not engaging with reading legal contracts or computer documentation) is an empathic practice—not merely analogous to one, though it may be that too. 

(Image credit: EmpathyLab (UK): Your brain on empathy reading)

Reading is an empathic practice in that it engages with another person—the Other—and does so at several levels. There are several levels of otherness—the Other of the character in the text is the most readily available—there is the implied Other addressed by the implied author, the Other of the narrator, who collapses into the implied author but often is distinct, and the actual author, who writes the words. Once again, I emphasize—and empathize—these are not merely analogous to acts of the practice of empathy, they are empathic gestures from start to finish, since they bring forth empathy and make it present in the encounter with an Other. 

The idea is that one relates to works of art such as a literary text with the same respect, aesthetic disinterest, moral interest as we relate to other human beings. That is also the case when the relationship breaks down. Someone throws cake at the Mona Lisa or tries to spray it with red paint. One is shocked in a way that is different than insulting or attacking a person, yet has strong objections like an appalling boundary violation has occurred. 

On the one hand, what empathy does for reading literature is bring it to life as the possibility of a laboratory for human emotions, affections, struggles, dynamics, success, and failure. Conversely, what literature does for empathy is provide a laboratory in which empathic relatedness can be challenged, tested, transformed, discarded, celebrated, explored, and made the object of inquiry. 

This is another area where it is hard to say just a little. Quoting from John Guillory (2025: p. 22ftnt 31), in turn, paraphrasing Stanislas Dehaene (Reading in the Brain: The Science and Evolution of a Human Invention (Viking Press 2009)): “…[Dehaene] describes reading as a refunctioning of regions of the brain dedicated to recognizing visual signals of a particular sort, chiefly the edge or corners of object; these forms the basis for inscriptive marks. Although the neurons of the areas that accomplish reading were not evolved for the purpose of reading, the human brain learned reading and writing by developing a new way of correlating visual and aural information in the brain. Dehaene calls this ‘neuronal recycling” (144–148). This is just the start of the neuroscience narrative.

The encounters between empathy and literature, relating as persons to art works and relating as art works to persons, are motivated. One considers how one relates to another person, and how it is the same and different than how one relates to works of art. At first glance, one treats art better than one treats people. One puts art in libraries and museums with air conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter whereas one allows people to go homeless and sleep under bridges in appalling conditions. However, upon reflection one guiltily allows with shame that as a community, one is failing to live up to one’s own best standards. One recognizes one’s failure even as one refuses a trade-off between respect for art and respect for persons. 

(10) Empathy and critical thinking: We conclude with a positive proposal: Teach critical thinking. This is the empathic educational moment. Absent a rigorous and critical practice of empathy, I am cautious about engaging current political clichés in a highly polarized political world and “rhetoric” in the negative sense. 

Critical thinking includes putting oneself in the place of one’s opponent—the folk definition of empathy—not necessarily to agree with the other individual—but to consider what advantages and disadvantages are included in the opponent’s position. Taking a walk in the Other’s shoes after having taken off one’s own (to avoid the risk of projection) shows one where the shoe pinches. This “pinching” —to stay with the metaphor—is not mere knowledge but a basic inquiry into what the Other considers possible based on how the Other’s world is disclosed experientially. That is what we have attempted to do here by engaging with the most rigorous version of the lifeboat dilemma, instead of a strawman. Critical thinking is a possibility pump designed to get people to start again listening to one another, allowing the empathic receptivity (listening) to come forth. 

In our day and age of fake news, deep fake identity theft, not to mention common political propaganda, one arguably needs a course in critical thinking (e.g., Mill 1859; Haber 2020) to distinguish fact and fiction. Nevertheless, I boldly assert that most people, not suffering from delusional disorder or political pathologies of being The True Believer (Hoffer 1953)), are generally able to make this distinction. 

A rigorous and critical empathy creates a safe zone of acceptance and tolerance within which people can inquire into what is possible—debate and listen to a wide spectrum of ideas, positions, feelings, and expressions out of which new possibilities can come forth. For example, empathy and critical thinking support maintaining firm boundaries and limits against actors who would misuse social media to amplify and distort communications. Much of what Jürgen Habermas (1984) says about the communicative distortions in mass media, television, and film applies with a multiplicative effect to the problematic, if not toxic, politics occurring on the Internet and social networking. 

The extension to issues of politics, climate change, and community struggles follows immediately. Insofar as individuals skeptical of empathy are trying to force a decision between critical thinking and empathy, the choice must be declined. Both empathy and critical thinking are needed; hence, a rigorous and critical empathy is included in the definition of enlarged, critical thinking (and vice versa). (Note that “critical thinking” can mean a lot of things. Here key references include John Stuart Mill 1859; Haber 2020; “enlarged thinking” in Kant 1791/93 (AA 159); Arendt 1968: 9; Habermas 1984; Agosta 2024, 2025.) 

In conclusion, a positive alternative to abandoning facts and skipping critical thinking is suggested by Bob Dylan’s song about empathy. One has to push off the shore of certainty and venture forth into the unknown. We give Dylan the last word (1965: 185): “I wish that for just one time / You could stand inside my shoes / And just for that one moment / I could be you” [.] 

REFERENCES

Lou Agosta. (2025). Radical Empathy in the Context of Literature. New York: Palgrave Macmillan. 

______________. (2024). Empathy Lessons. 2nd Edition. Chicago: Two Pears Press. 

______________. (2014). A Rumor of Empathy: Rewriting Empathy in the Context of Philosophy. New York: Palgrave Pivot. 

Anonymous Wikipedia Content. (2012). Trolley problem (The trolley dilemma). Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trolley_problem [checked 2023-06-25]

Arendt, Hannah. (1952/1958). The Origins of Totalitarianism, 2nd Edition. Cleveland and New York: Meridian (World) Publishing, 1958.

Gordon Allport. (19370. Personality: A Psychological Interpretation (New York: Holt 1937).

Cathy Caruth. (1996). Unclaimed Experience: Trauma, Narrative, and History. Baltimore: John Hopkins.

Stanislas Dehaene. (2009). Reading in the Brain: The Science and Evolution of a Human Invention. NEW YORK: Viking Press.

Bob Dylan. (1965). Bob Dylan: The Lyrics: 1961–2012. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Philippa Foot. (1967). The problem of abortion and the doctrine of the double effect. Oxford Review, No. 5. In Foot, 1977/2002, Virtues and Vices and Other Essays in Moral Philosophy. Oxford: Oxford UP, 2002: 19–32. DOI:10.1093/0199252866.001.0001.

John Guillory. (2025). On Close Reading. Annotated bibliography by Scott Newstok. Chicago: University of Chicago press.

Jonathan Haber. (2020). Critical Thinking. Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press. 

Jürgen Habermas. (1984). The Theory of Communicative Action, Vol 1, Thomas McCarthy (tr.). Boston: Beacon Press.

Garrett Hardin. (1974). Commentary: Living on a Lifeboat. BioScience, Volume 24, Issue 10, October 1974, Pages 561–568, https://doi.org/10.2307/1296629

Eric Hoffer. (1953). The True Believer. New York: Harper Perennial.

Immanuel Kant. (1791/93). Critique of the Power of Judgment, Paul Guyer and Eric Matthews (trs.). Cambridge: Cambridge UP, 2013.

Heinz Kohut. (1971). The Analysis of the Self. New York: International Universities Press. 

Herbert Langfeld. (1920). The Aesthetic Attitude. New York: Harcourt Brace.

Malcolm-X. (1964). “Remarks at the founding of the Organization of African-American Unity.” https://youtu.be/3Aq2Z0i8D6A?si=dkYo6QKCrgK2fWXL [Checked on 03/24/2024] 

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This blog post, blog and all content were prepared by Lou Agosta without any use of Generative AI. None. The author has been a big fan of the em dash ever since “graduating” from a Smith Corona typewriter to a word processor. 

© Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project

Unreliable Parental Empathy in Henry James’ “What Maisie Knew”

Henry James provides a dramatic picture of unreliable and defective parental empathy. What Maisie Knew(1897) begins as a contentious divorce between Beale and Ida Farange is granted by the court. And, lacking the wisdom of Solomon (admittedly a rare quality), so is the custody of the child. The narrative is an inquiry into how the child is cut in half emotionally, and the consequences who she becomes as a person. Maisie is about six years old, and is to spend six months with each parent. As the story begins, each parent wants to take Solomon’s sword and use it on the other partner. Lacking a sword, they use Maisie. Or, expressed slightly differently, the parents are playing “hard ball” and Maisie is the ball. 

James’ incomparable empathy with Maisie and his penetrating and astute comprehension of human relations writ large applies empathy in the extended sense as who people are as possibilities, walking in the other’s shoes (after, of course, first taking off one’s own to avoid projection), translating communications between adults and children (and adults and adults) as well as affect-matching and mis-matching (empathy in the narrow sense). James’ work aligns with the concise classic statement “On adult empathy with children” by Christine Olden (1953). When encountering a child, according to Olden, the adult is present to her or his own fate as a child of similar age. The encounter brings up the adult’s issues even if the child does not have such an issue and has other, unrelated issues. The adults expand their empathy by getting in touch with these issues and taking care that they not get in the way of their openness and responsiveness to the child. That, of course, is far from the case with the adults presented in James’ narrative. For example, in encountering Maisie, Mrs Wix (one of the governesses) is present not only to her own fate as a child, but to the fate of her (Mrs Wix’s) child, who was killed in a tragic traffic accident when she was about Maisie’s age. Mrs Wix reaction to her loses, including her own genteel poverty, is to embrace a scrupulous conventional morality that mainly constrains her (Mrs Wix), but which will also eventually impact Maisie. The parents, Beale and Ida, are nursing their grievances and elaborating their hostility to one another, as noted above, using Maisie. The prospective step-parents, Sir Claude and Miss Overmore (Mrs Beale), who eventually emerge, are a definite improvement in empathic responsiveness to Maisie. However, the bar is now set so low that is not saying a lot and the process of de-parenting and re-parenting does not succeed as the narrative ends due to Sir Claude’s unresolved marital status and Maisie’s own painfully acquired knowledge of how to play “hard ball” with the grown-ups. 

As James’ novel begins, Maisie’s parents have already spent whatever financial resources they had as the divorce court enjoins Beale (the father) to return the 2500 pounds sterling to his former wife, which money, as noted, seems already to have been spent; Ida (the mother) is living off her looks, by the middle of the story, consorting with exceedingly unattractive rich men (Mr Perrin); Mr Faranago is doing the same with an American “Countess” of Color, who is described as having a mustache and it otherwise painted in terms of an appalling racist stereotype (definitely not James’ best moment). They are doing this for money. As Jems’ novels end, the one person of integrity – and it is narrowly scrupulous morality at that (people who are married should not move in with people to whom they are not married, even if the marriage is emotionally over (though not legally over)) – is Mrs Wix, whose inheritance (we learn towards the end) was stolen by a relative and, as the story of Maisie ends, has some slight hope of getting it back with the guidance of Sir Claude, who has heretofore not been particularly effective at anything except wooing an attractive, supposedly rich lady (Masie’s mother) who turned out not to be so rich and not so attractive if her personality is taken into the account.  That noted, let us take a step back.

Children of tender age will repeat what is told them by way of a performance as if reciting a nursery rhyme, not appreciating the ramifications of the statements in the adult world. The reader is given a sample of misbehavior on the part of both parents. At this point, Maisie is six years old (p. 9). Her mother asks her:

‘And did your beastly, papa, my precious angel, send any message to your own loving mamma?’ Then it was that she found the words spoken by her beastly papa to be after all, in her little bewildered ears, from which, at her mother’s appeal, they passed, in her clear, shrill voice, straight to her little innocent lips, ‘He said I was to tell you, from him, she faithfully reported, ‘that your’re a nasty, horrid pig!’ (p. 11)

The way the parents use and, strictly speaking, misuse Maisie to send one another insulting, arguably abusive, messages marks both as loathsome individuals. These parents are easy to hate. The parents are verbally abusive towards one another, and abusive towards Masie in enrolling her in delivering invalidating messages on their behalf to one another. The text is packed with instances of inadequate, substandard parenting. The text is thick with examples of defective empathy, unreliable empathy, and even fiendish empathy. Breakdowns of empathy such as emotional contagion, projection, conformity, and communications lost in translation, are so pervasive as to make the text a veritable compendium of what parents ought not to do. 

Maisie is reduced to a tool, and indeed even in Henry James’ skillful literary hands is something of a guinea pig in the jungle of parental incompetence and ethical conformity. The saving grace of James’ fictional study is that such scenarios, bordering on and perpetrating emotional abuse, are all too common – in his time and ours. The advantages of a fictional account is that it enables imaginative variations and thought experiments; and one is not going to get sued for slander, which is a risk even if the alleged “slander” is accurate and based on factual evidence.

The examples of Maisie’s parents are why 21st Century divorce judges begin proceedings by issuing a binding court order that the parents are not to speak ill of one another in front of the child nor have the child deliver messages to one another. I do not know the judicial practices in 1897. What I do know is that in 1897 divorce was less common and more scandalous in contrast with today when divorce is common and the scandals are single parent families, fatherless children, and domestic violence against women and children. We also know that the patriarchy was much more severe in times past (nor does that excuse today’s problems). Consider the cases of Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy, 1878) and Effi Briest (Theodor Fontane, 1895), who were prevented from seeing their children by spouses who were aggrieved, wielding ethical cudgels to separate mother and child. Yet even in our own time such legal injunctions are hard to enforce in cases where the parent is bound and determined to create mischief. Anecdotal reports from the trenches indicate that divorce judges are swamped with cases of physical abuse and inevitably give lower priority to bad verbal behavior, which can still be quite destructive to young, still maturing personalities.

Taking care of this child of tender age requires time and effort (all of which cost money) and each parent is eager to send Maisie to the other to inflict this cost on the despised former spouse. The child becomes an extension of the parent, like the narcissistic extension his or her own hand, the very definition of defective empathy, which leaves the child vulnerable to emotional disequilibrium, a kind of empty depression, and breakdowns in the child’s own empathy. The violation of the moral imperative to treat other people as ends in themselves and not mere means aligns with the parents’ retributive attitude, manipulative behavior, and (it must be said) pathological narcissism. Maisie becomes a mere means of the parents to inflict abuse on one other. While lonely and neglected, Maisie makes use of “auxiliary parents” such as an interested and engaged governesses and step parents (all of whom have their own conflicts of interest to maintain a measure of hope and perky positivity in the face of recurring disappointments delivered by the supposed adults in her world. Now in the context of the narrative, the governess, Miss Overbeck, is romantically interested in (and eventually marries) Maisie’s father; but Miss Overbeck also takes a sincere interest in Maisie. If Miss Overbeck is faking her interest in Maisie, it is an academy award winning performance. As in most areas of life, conflicting and overlapping interests are what make James’ narratives so powerful and thought provoking.

The matter almost immediately goes beyond James’ penetrating and engaging narrative. And that is relevance of James for us today. In our own time of fragmented and blended families, who does not know of an example where former spouses are at risk of speaking ill about one another? (It happens to married couples too!) The question is what happens when the affection or hostility are not expressed but nevertheless powerfully present, so to speak, percolating up from beneath the surface. That the emotions are not expressed means that they remain “unthought” as far as thinking using words is concerned. When Maisie’s father tells her, “Your mother hates you,” what does Maisie know about her mother and/or her father? The former spouses routinely refer abusively to their ex-partner in the presence of the child (as James calls her) in devaluing terms (p. 141) – “pig,” “nasty” person, “ass,” and so on. 

When another person tells one something, then one has to decide whether to believe it or not. A whole course in critical thinking may be unfolded and inserted here. In particular, the child is  motivated to believe the parents, because most decent parents tell the child the truth in age appropriate language, establishing a track record. Still, life events such as divorce, the birth of a sibling, major illness, or death of a family member, introduce incentives and emotional conflicts that distort communications and create parental integrity outages. Even in such examples, and this is the really interesting case, the child is incented to “go along with the program” – that is, what is represented as the truth about the life and family circumstances – because the parent provides meals, clothing, transportation, education, and entertainment, all of which are essential to the child’s well-being and immediate happiness. Still, while the child is constrained to “go along with the program” that does not mean the child always believes the outlandish assertions of the dominating parental authorities. Just because the child goes along with the parent’s fibs does not mean that the child always believes what she is told. You can’t fool all the people all of the time. 

For example, at about the same time as James was writing his work, there was a precocious five-year-old – articulate, funny, witty, cute – living in Vienna to whom was born a baby sister. When he asked his parents from where the sister came (he was not quite sure a sister was such a good idea), the parents told him the stork brought it. At that point the boy’s behavior deteriorated, hough the connection and timing was overlooked by the parents, because of their own blind spots. The well-behaved boy threw temper tantrums, developed a phobia which made it difficult to take him out of the house, and regressed to baby-like behavior and talk. His father had a conversation with someone who was innovating in human development (Freud 1909). The coaching was – stop lying to the kid and tell him about from where babies come – tell him about the birds and bees. Recovery was prompt – though there were other challenges in the relationship between his parents. 

The point? Children often know that they do not have all the facts and being dependent on their parents for their well-being the children decide it is best to conform. (Key term: conform.) They accept what they are told, subject to their own observations. The boy in question, anonymously known as “Little Hans,” had access to the lake where the storks were living and he saw the storks, but there was a noticeable absence of human babies (Freud 1909). Young scientist! Astutely observant, Hans concluded that his parents account was a fabrication. In short, they were lying to him about from where babies came. Unable to express himself in adult (scientific) language with the counter-example produced by his own observations down by the lake, Hans acted out. His behavior deteriorated. His behavior expressed his disagreement and his suffering, In short, he “knew” his folks were lying to him, rather in the sense that Maisie “knew” matters were not well with the representations offered by the adults in her environment. 

Thus, the one parent says, “Your father is loathsome.” The other parent says, “Your mother is loathsome.” Unlike the story about the stork, both of Maisie’s parents are speaking the truth! Yet even in uttering what is a factually accurate statement, there is a larger integrity outage confounding circumstances for the child. It is the job of the parents to take care of the whole child, and they seem not even to have the idea what is the “whole child” and how to do their job. Yes, of course, the child’s material needs, but also the child’s emotional development, education, and sense of being an effective agent, even if only in age appropriate, childish matters. That is profoundly missing here. In such a context, the factually accurate words are a lie. 

In the case of Maisie, what might be called intrusive interruptions – and the pediatrician psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott calls “impingements” – in her childhood tasks of precisely being allowed to be a child of tender age, learning her school lessons, playing with children of a similar age, and holding tea parties with her dolls and stuffed animals – occur as the grown ups treat Maisie like a grown up. Her nursery attendant tells her: “Your papa wishes you never to forget, you know, that he has been dreadfully put about” (p. 10). This is the paradigm of defective empathy, for it attempts to induce in the child what papa was experiencing, yet does so in way that blames the child – points an accusing finger at her – for the “dreadful” inconvenience papa is suffering because of shared child custody. The child’s job is to learn her school lessons, play with her dolls, have bed time story time and lunch time and bath time, and visit with her peers (of which Maisie seems to have none), not to understand legal custody proceedings.

In general, when confronted with incompetent parenting, the child will (1) try to “fix the parent” so the parent can do her/his job (of taking care of the child), (2) conform, or (3)act out (see Little Hans, above). For example, the child will try to cheer up the depressed mother by putting on a happy smiley face, being perky, winsome, in the face of the mother’s self-invovled funk and indifference. The middle school or pubertal child will quote positive things said by friends about the parent. The child will try to placate the neglectful, abandoning, or angry father by being apologetic, giving agreement, being submissive, promising “I’ll be good!” The child may have no idea what is bothering the grown up – financial challenges, health issues, sexual frustration, or relationship breakdowns that a child of tender age cannot possibly comprehend. The child may act out – if an adolescent, defy social conventions – if a child of tender age, regress and lose toilet skills and wet the bed. The child will experience difficulties – experience sleep and eating disorders or throw temper tantrums. The child has limited skill in expressing her or his feelings verbally and/or understanding parental issues, so the child will invent meaning. “If only I were better at academics, sports, socializing, doing chores, then my mother and/or father would be happy (and be able to take care of me in such a way that I can be happy too).” “If only I had done my chores, my folks would not be getting divorced” – and this after both parents have repeatedly assured the child that she or had nothing to do with the family breakup. 

In the narrative, mamma enacts a similar impingement and calls forth a “try to fix her” response in Maisie. Papa has already used the same words: 

You’ll never know what I’ve been through about you – never, never, never. I spare you everything, as I always have [….] If you don’t do justice to my forbearing, out of delicacy, to mention, just as a last word, about your stepfather, a little fact or two of a kind that really I should only have to mention to shine myself in comparison and after every calumny like pure gold: if you don’t do me that justice you’ll never do me justice at all.

Maisie’s desire to show what justice she did her had by this time become so intense as to have brought with it an inspiration (p, 161)

In response, Maisie tries to cheer up her mother – tries to “fix” things by acknowledging her mother with the complimentary description of Ida (mamma) provided by The Captain, a prospective romantic interest of mamma with whom Maisie had a conversation. The Captain had paid her (mamma) many credible compliments, saying beautiful, kind things about her, which helped Maisie feel genuine affection for this difficult individual, Maisie’s mamma. Maisie tries to acknowledge her mamma using the Captain’s kind words. It does not work. “Her [Maisie’s] mother gave her one of the looks that slammed the door in her face; never in a career of unsuccessful experiments had Maisie had to take such a stare” (p. 164). James compares the impact on Maisie to a science experiment that goes horribly wrong, producing something disgusting instead of the expected elegant result. The mother then has a temper tantrum. Maisie (who is now estimated to be the age of a middle school student) survives this scene of “madness and desolation,” “ruin and darkness,” and, after mamma’s departure, goes off and smokes cigarettes with Sir Claude. 

As noted, Winnicott describes this scene of fear and defective empathy, “…[T]he faulty adaptation to the child, resulting in impingement of the environment so that the individual [the child] must become a reactor to this impingement. The sense of self is lost in this situation and is only regained by a return to isolation” (Winnicott, 1952: 222; italics added). Maisie is definitely isolated, and she suffers greatly because of it. The parent takes the child as his or her confidant as if the child were an adult, “Let me tell you what your father said.” “Let me tell you what your mother did.” Even when the content of the statement is relatively benign, the tone with which it is uttered – and that is the moment of defective empathy – causes the listener to imagine a kind of outrage, boundary violation, or integrity outage. This other must be the very devil!

In the case of What Maisie Knew, both parents are explicitly hostile towards one another and, if not hostile towards Maisie (though that too emerges), at least neglectful and manipulative. Arguably, in making Masie the means of their abuse of one another, the parents are also abusing her. However, what about the case, perhaps more common in our own supposedly psychologically advanced time, where the parent is hostile, but following the court order, the parent does not express it. What happens then? That of course goes beyond James’ narrative, but points to its relevance for our own challenges and struggles. 

On a positive note, if the abusive language is not performed, then it is not in the space. In so far as children are designed to conform to the guidance of their parents – even when they do not fully believe or trust them – so much negativity is removed from the space. Well and good – at least there is nothing to present in court when going before the judge. You will never hear me say that it is better to use the abusive language for then one knows where one stands with the other person. There are many other, better, ways of figuring out where one stands with the other such as comparing words and deeds, confronting one’s own introspective empathy, or simply asking the other person or other significant actors in the environment. It is just that the child’s ability to do these things is still developing and may be inadequate to the task (a problem that less skilled adults (and there are many) may also face). The hostility does not appear on the surface, which gives the appearance of a calm and placid body of water; yet a rip tide may lurk beneath the surface, capable of pulling one down.

At this point, it is useful to take a step back and consider how our consciousness is populated with many voices and many actors. An example of an “internal object” (actually more of an agent) would be a conscience that “tells” the person about the rightness of a prospective or accomplished behavior or speech act. The first internal object, the conscience (“superego”) is formed, thanks to the mechanism of identification with the aggression (about which more shortly). The conscience can become a hostile introject along other internal objects such as images of the parents, mentors, and positive complexes such as generosity, compassion, and empathy. The proposal is that the difference between parents who are explicitly assaultive in their speech acts and those who bottle up the hostility, which then leaks out in indirect forms, shows up in the quality of the internal introject. In the first case, the introject is more hostile, harsher but easier to distinguish from the authentic self; in the second case, the introject is more benign, but not necessarily harmless, and yet harder to distinguish from the authentic self. 

If one could truly cancel all the hostility – not just try to keep it down – but truly extirpate it, then it would become an idle wheel and not move any part of the behavior or thinking of the agents in question. But would the hostility then exist anymore? It would be unexpressed, because it really and truly were sublimated into a poem or work of art. That is the issue – is there ever such a thing as unexpressed hostility? This is not a problem that Maisie’s parents have – their problem is that they are embracing the hostility, elaborating it, making it their project. The damage (including to the parents) is substantial. In contract, when the hostility is unexpressed, but still lurking beneath the surface, it may not be unexpressed forever. Betrayal oozes at every pore. empathy is active here too, in a kind of regressive mode, and gives off hostile vibes, aggressive vibes, even if one’s words as sweet as honey. “Would you like another piece of cake?” Is spoken with such a tone of venom that one suspects the cake might contain arsenic. The tone is the moment of empathy (or, more precisely, the unempathic moment) in which one gives off a kind of negative affect, a hostile vibe, in spite of one’s sweet or benigh words. In addition, it is just as common for hostility which is not verbally expressed to be displaced or expressed indirectly in behavior and deed. With advance apologies to pet lovers, the boss bullies the employee and the employee goes home and kicks the dog. The hostility is present but displaced. 

As Maisie’s papa gets ready to leave for American to attend to the business affairs of his new, rich consort, the princess, further unreliable empathy. He makes an invitation to Maisie to accompany him to America. This is “out of the blue,” without context or assurances as to how Maisie will be taken care of, and the offer is fake. Why fake? Because he really does not want her along, nor does she really want to go, even though she says with enthusiasm and e=repeatedly “I will follow you anywhere.” It is clear the adventure is not going to happen:

She [Maisie] began to be nervous again; it rolled over her that this was their parting, their parting forever, and that he [papa] had brough her there for so many caresses only because it was important such an occasion should look better for him than any other [….]It was exactly as if he had broken out to her: ‘I say, you little donkey, help me to be irreproachable, to be noble, and yet to have none of the beastly bore of it. There’s only impropriety enough for one of us; so you must take it all (p 138). 

Naturally, the child has to go along with what the parent tells her or him. The parent has the power to provide meals, transportation, shelter and entertainment, though, in this case, none are offered.

The cost and the impact of the lack of integrity and empathy (and adaptation in general) of the parents to the child is the creation of a false self. Maisie pretends to be dumb. The trouble is that faking being dumb risks actually being dumb in a “fake it till you make it” moment. Her formal education is already neglected and in tatters. Now in the context of James’ narrative, Maisie never loses her cognitive acumen, though she gets called invalidating names such as “idiot” and “donkey” by her elders, which must have a damaging impact on her self-esteem.

Here James is the master psychologist ahead of his time, giving the reader an inside case history on the production of what, as noted, D. W. Winnicott came to describe as “the false self.” On background, Winnicott is the pediatrician who became a celebrated psychoanalyst, surviving an analysis with James Strachey, Melanie Klein, who was himself fortified intellectually by one his most famous (indeed infamous) students and colleagues, Masud Kahn. Without going into psychoanalytic politics, let’s just say that Winnicott’s ideas of the transitional object, virtual play space of creativity, and the false self are among the most enduring and time-tested contributions of child analysis. 

At risk of over-simplification, the false self is constructed in order to protect the true self, the source of spontaneity, satisfaction, fulfillment, beginning something new (as Hannah Arendt would say), and creativity. The false self is designed to help the individual survive the impingements of caretakers whose empathy is faulty. Here “empathy” is understood in the extensive sense of the parent’s willingness and ability to adapt to the requirements of the maturing child. The child is an end in her- or himself and not an extension of the parent’s narcissism, which narcissism reduces the child to the role of fulfilling the parents’ unmet needs in their own lives. Unhappy the child who must compensate for what is missing in the parents’ own lives. Most children will try to do so, making reparation for another’s incompletenesses, conforming to the felt requirements of the parent. How do you think that is going to work for the child?

Maisie’s authentic self takes shelter, hides, behind the false one and preserves the hope of someday being able to be expressed and have a satisfying life of her own, but in the meantime Maisie is able to get the secondary gain of frustrating her parents is using her to hurt one another. Maisie acquires the “know how” required to survive by manipulating the manipulators. The cost is enormous, but it protects one from the impingements of the powerful, malevolent forces in the unempathic environment:

The theory of her stupidity, eventually embraced by her parents, corresponded with a great date in her small, still life [….] She [Maisie] had a new feeling, the feeling of danger; on which a new remedy rose to meet it, the idea of an inner self, or, in other word, of concealment. She puzzled out with imperfect signs, but with a prodigious spirit, that she had been a centre of hatred and a messenger of insult, and that everything was because she had been employed to make it so. Her parted lips locked themselves with the determination to be employed no longer. She would forget everything, she would repeat nothing, and when, as a tribute to the successful application of her system, she began to be called a little idiot, she tasted a pleasure altogether new. When therefore, as she grew older, her parents in turn, in her presence, announced that she had grown shockingly dull, it was not from any real contraction of her little stream of life. She spoiled their fun, but she practically added to her own (p. 13; see also p. 54 on “the effect of harmless vacancy”; see also p. 117 on deep “imbecility”).

The child lives into – and unwittingly lives up to – the devaluing description and expectations made of her. Maisie makes the best of a bad situation and has fun spoiling the fun of other (which “fun” seems to be the mutual insults of and gossip about the parents). But the cost is substantial. James’ calls out a masochistic moment here in which, as the proverb goes, one cuts off one’s nose to spite one’s face. Caught in the cross fire, in an attempt to find a way between the rock and the hard place, Maisie consults a potential ally. Miss Overmore (the governess initially employed by her mother, but who eventually marries her father) has conflicts of interest of her own but in this moment functions as an honest broker. Maisie’s mother tells her to tell her father that he is a liar and Maisie, who is maturing, asks her governess if she should do so:

‘Am I to tell him?’ the child [Maisie] went on. It was then that her companion [Miss Overmore] addressed her in the unmistakable language of a pair of eyes deep dark-grey. ‘I can’t say No,’ they replied as distinctly as possible; ‘I can’t say No, because I’m afraid of your mamma, don’t you see? Yet how can I say Yes after your papa has been so kind to me, talking to me so long the other day, smiling and flashing his beautiful teeth at me the tie we met him in the Park, the time when, rejoicing at the sight of us [….]The wonder now lived again, lived in the recollection of what papa had said to Miss Overmore: ‘I’ve only to look at you see that your’re a person to whom I can appeal to help me save my daughter.’ Maisie’s ignorance of what she was to be saved from didn’t diminish the pleasure of the thought that Miss Overmore was saving her. It seemed to make them cling together (p. 15). 

What Maisie does is she keeps quiet. She isolates – plays dumb. All the worse, the mother initially prevents Miss Overmore from accompanying Maisie when the rotation to the father’s turn to take care of her occurs. The child is afraid of being abandoned – not taken care of – not provided for. Miss Overmore is taking caring of Maisie educationally and emotionally. Miss Overmore is banished (at least at this point). The child is “invisible”: “Maisie had a greater sense than ever in her life before of not being personally noticed (p. 107).

As the novel progresses, mamma is stricken with a dreaded but unspecified disease and her life is limited by illness even as she consorts with men who have money. As noted, Papa is bound for America. Sir Claude (who has not been properly introduced here but is a kind person who marries Maisie’s mother and genuinely likes Maisie) ping pongs between England and Paris as Sir Clause learns of a letter in which Papa (Mr Beale) deserts Mrs Beale (Miss Overmore, now Sir Claude’s lover). “You do what you want – and so will I” type of arrangement. Sir Claude is still married to mama (Ida Farange), and in the gilded age that is the scandal. Sir Claude cannot live with a woman married to someone else (according to the standard conventions of the time). There is something indecent about Sir Claude taking up with Miss Overmore while still technically married to Ida. Key term: indecent. 

The novel itself has an unthought, regarding the conventions circa 1897 about adult sex outside of marriage and within marriage with other partners. Sir Claude’s is a person who does not  speak unkindly of anyone. He is kind, albeit a chain smoker, which is perhaps a way of binding his underlying anxiety. He is  happy to have been given permission to do what he wants by his wife (Ida, Masie’s mother) provided she gets similar permission to consort with whoever she wishes. Without a formal divorce, this leaves Sir Claude compromised in terms of conventional moral standards (which were much stronger in such matters in 1897 than in 2024). 

We fast forward though Maisie’s lessons in cynicism, playing “hard ball,” the integrity outages of her parents and step parents, and instruction from another of her governesses, Miss Wix, in a rigorous sense of conventional morals. As the story ends (spoiler alert!), Maisie practices a kind of hardball. “I will give up Mrs Wix if you will give up Miss Overmore – and we will go off together to Paris,” Maisie proposes to Sir Claude. Both governesses are to be thrown “under the bus,” which does have a certain narrative symmetry and symbolizes Maisie’s gorwing up. 

Thus, Maisie tries to seduce Sir Claude, who, as noted, is the handsome if ineffective 2nd husband of her mamma. “Everyone loves Sir Claude,” everyone except his wife (Maisie’s mama). After marrying mamma, Sir Claude falls in love with Miss Overmore (who has since married Papa). Maisie proposes that she will give up Miss Wix if Sir Claude gives up Miss Overmore. That is the “seduction.” There is a certain amount of back-and-forth negotiation, but it is clear this is never seriously considered by Sir Claude. He would be willing to be in Maisie’s life, but is committed to living near Miss Overmore (Mrs Beale) in France (who are notoriously loose regarding marriage boundaries) so Sir Claude and Miss Overmore can continue their romance. Maisie (as directed by the author, James) takes the moral high road, and returns to England with her strict governess Miss Wix to a life of genteel poverty and “moral sense,” which means conformity to conventional moral behavior. 

The empathic moment for Maisie is, who is she as a possibility? This is an aspect of empathy that is sometimes overlooked in the conversations about affect matching, projection, and communications lost in translations – who is the person as a possibility. For example, I meet someone is who struggling with alcohol abuse or, in this case, with quasi-abusive, neglectful parents. That is not who the person is authentically as a possibility. The abuser of alcohol is the possibility of overcoming that she is drinking because of unresolved trauma, low self-esteem, or other specific issue, which when surfaced and worked through allow the person to write the great American novel, join Doctors without Borders, or start a family. 

So, once again, who is Maisie as a possibility? First of all, she is a survivor of being “caught in the cross fire” of a nasty divorce and being raised in its shadow. Anyone proposing to give Maisie a good listening might find themselves responding to her empathically saying, “You may usefully know yourself as a survivor.” By the end of the narrative, as Maisie goes off with her governess, Miss Wix, it far from clear that is the case. So while Maise learns a lot about cynicism, hardball, interpersonal invalidation, perpetrations, and emotional intrigue, she does not yet know herself as a survivor. 

Using James’ other female figures as a foil for who is Maisie as a possibility, maybe she becomes a kind of Kate Croy (as in James’ Wings of a Dove) scheming to get married to get someone else’s fortune upon their passing away. Maybe Maisie becomes Maggie (as in The Golden Bowl), sacrificing herself to the happiness of others and simultaneously validating the appearances of conventional morality. Or perhaps she becomes a Miss Overmore, a governess educating other people’s children in French grammar and romantic intrigues with the master of the house. Alternatively, Maisie becomes a governess such as Mrs Wix, not mourning the loss of a daughter, but the loss of her own possibility of satisfaction by means of a scrupulous morality, a reaction formation to the loose standards of her own parents and step parents. As the narrative concludes, the latter is the probable almost certain future. A sad ending indeed. 

There are many moments of affect matching (and mismatching) in James. There are many moments of communications lost in translation. These are empathy lessons in the sense that if one “cleans up” the miscommunication (restore understanding, then empathy emerges between the communicants. There are many examples of projection in – the parents especially are projecting their hostility onto one another and indeed everyone in the environment. Withdraw the project and authentically be with the other person and empathy comes forth. This does not happen to the parents, but the step parents (with whom Maisie is prospectively “re-parented”) move in that direction. Does Maisie become Kate Croy, Maggie (albeit without all the money), or even a version of her own mamma, seeking her fortune (literally) in association with a series of men of varying degrees of unattractiveness The opportunities for women are appallingly limited. Maisie’s education has been neglected as she has been shunted back and forth between parents. Even when she is de-parented from her biological ones, and Sir Claude and Miss Overmore (Mrs Beale) come together and propose to take care of her, the promise of educational lectures is short-circuited by lack of a revenue model. They can afford some lectures targeting working class folks at the equivalent of the public library, but university level preparation (which, at that time, requires Greek and Latin) seems a high bar. The disappointing, even demoralizing (in the sense of inspiring a righteous indignation), results are a reduction to absurdity of the constraints of standard morality. There is no need for James explicitly to have intended such a message, but it is not hard to find it in him, consistent with an agenda that treats women as full human beings, social actors, and agents with full political and financial rights (which was definitely not the case in James’ Gilded Age). 

James’ novels often end on a conventional note, even if his embrace of convention is a reduction to absurdity of convention. When Maisie sees her parents nasty divorce, relatively rare in 1896 as compared with our own time, and the musical chairs of changing partners with Sir Claude and Miss Overbeck (Mrs Beale), is it any wonder that Maisie embraces conventional morality and partners with Mrs Wix, a standard governess who has lost a daughter that would be about Maisie’s age? As noted above, when Mrs Wix is in the presence of Maisie, she (Mres Wix) is in the presence of her lost daughter, which presents an obstacle to her being with – that is, empathizing with – Maisie. Instead Mrs Wix goes to morality (not inconsistent with empathy, just different than it) and her advocacy with “moral sense.” At this point, James’ incomparable empathy gives way to crafting a writerly conclusion, which engages and reduces conventional morality to absurdity.

Much ink has been spilt on whether James’ endings are endorsed by him. Happy endings are rare in the real world, and if one considers death to be unhappy, then they never occur. Never. However, endings where the protagonists act conventionally are realistic in the sense that people often conform to conventional moral standards – which is why it is called “convention.” 

A deeper level of integrity coincides with doing what is conventional in James’ Wings of a Dove. Maggie returns to her unfaithful husband, Prince Amerigo, doing what is superficially conventionally requires. The arguably “deeper” integrity of Maggie’s self-sacrifice for the happiness of the poor couple (the husband and his original love interest) is hard to understand  under the draconian laws of the patriarchy, by which the unfaithful husband has control of Maggie’s financial fortune. Maggie decides to “fund” his unfaithfulness to her in a magnanimous gesture of self-sacrifice (but does she really have a choice?) based on the romantic notion that his love for his prospective bride from their days of mutual impoverishment was the “real thing.” There is no way that life has to look, and it will turn out the way that it turns out. 

In a different context and narrative, Lambert Strether (The Ambassadors) honors his word in the most superficial sense, returning to America presumably to acknowledge that, though Chad returns to Woollett, he (Strether) tried to convince him not to do so, requiring the engagement of other ambassadors, and forgoing his (Strether’s) own possibility of happiness with Marie, which would have required him explicitly to break his word and not return. Thus, doing the conventionally “right thing” is the wrong thing from the perspective of a personally satisfying outcome. 

In the background is the pervasive issue of what is the revenue model? Who has the money? Kate Croy and Merton Denscher are engaging in a confidence scheme to get Milly Theale’s fortune (she has a fatal disease). Denscher is belatedly overcome with integrity (and Kate’s refusal to have sex with him to confirm the shady deal), not conventional conformity, but actual remorse. It cancels his affection for Kate, who poverty previously prevented him from marrying. Unless one thinks Milly’s bequest is a “guilt trip” designed to punish Denscher (which it might be, but probably not), and not a genuine gift to someone Milly loved, a case can be made that the non-conforming thing to do would be to “take the money and run (to the bank).” Here the layers of ambiguity and uncertainty really do send the participants (and readers) spinning (Pippin 2000: 66), and no reason exists to believe an unambiguous “right answer” is available. In the Golden Bowl, Maggie has the money, until she doesn’t, and that makes all the difference. 

That Maisie turns out with standard level neuroses, acting out an Oedipus complex, even if cynical and seductive in a way conventionally appropriate for women of the Gilded Age, and not psychotic, is a tribute to the secure attachment she experienced from her early nurse, Moddle, all of which must have occurred prior to the beginning of the narrative.

Bibliography

S. Freud. Analysis of a Phobia in a Five-Year-Old Boy. The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud 10:1-150

Henry James. (1897). What Maisie Knew. New York, Penguin Classics, 2007.

Christine Olden. (1952). On adult empathy with children. Psychoanalytic Study of the Child 8: 111–126. 

Robert Pippin. (2000). Henry James and Modern Moral Live. Cambridge: Cambridge UP.

Winnicott, D. W. (1952). Psychoses and child care. In D. W. Winnicott (1958).

Collected Papers. London: Tavistock Publications.

Mutilated empathy in MIGRANT AESTHETICS by Glenda Carpio

Review: Mutilated empathy in spite of itself in Migrant Aesthetics: Contemporary Fiction, Global Migration, and the Limits of Empathy by Glenda Carpio (New York: Columbia University Press, 223, 285pp.)

Glenda R. Carpio is well-known for her work Laughing Fit to Kill: Black Humor in the Fictions of Slavery (Oxford 2008). This work succeeds in a high-wire balancing act in transforming racial stereotypes meant to devalue into humor that liberates, humanizes, and transfigures as only the artform of jokes can do. 

There is almost nothing that can be said about making jokes about race that cannot be distorted or misunderstood. The entire field of humor is fraught, and the more edgy and confrontational the joke or skit, the funnier it is—until it isn’t. Someone gets their feelings hurt and the potential laughter mutates into rage. Therefore, I am not going to tell a joke. I am going to make a generalization, which is definitely not as much fun. Acknowledging that reasonable people may disagree, I note the close relationship between humor/jokes and empathy. 

For purposes of this review, the folk definition of empathy will suffice—take a walk in the Other’s shoes after first taking off one’s own to guard against the misfiring of empathy as projection. In empathy one navigates the firm boundary between self and Other with dignity, respect, recognition, and acknowledgement, in creating a community of self and Other. A rigorous and critical empathy maintains firm boundaries between self and Other, guarding against merger, emotional contagion, projection, and other common ways that empathic relating can misfire or go astray. Good fences make good neighbors, as the poet said, but there is a gate in the fence, and over the gate is inscribed the word “empathy.” In contrast with empathy, in joking one crosses the boundary between self and Other with aggression, insulting remarks, sexual suggestions or other violations of community standards—but it is all okay—why?—because it is a joke! Pause for laughter. One jumps over the wall—takes a prat fall backwards over the boundary between self and Other, and if joke works, then the speech act of the joke creates a community in the shared laughter.  (On the joke as a speech act that creates community see Cohen 1999; one may say the same thing, it creates community, about storytelling as the speech act corresponding to empathic receptivity Agosta 2010; also of note Wisse 2013.)

The connection of empathy with Carpio’s next work is evident in the title: Migrant Aesthetics: Contemporary Fiction, Global Migration, and the Limits of Empathy (Columbia UP 2023, 285 pp.). Now it is a bold statement of the obvious that empathy has its limits. A naïve merger with victimhood results in pity and sentimentality rather than taking a stand for social justice and positive politics in a productive sense. Nothing wrong as such with having a good cry, but that is already arguably a breakdown of would-be empathy. On the other hand, if one’s eyes get a bit moist that is another matter. Empathy is so fundamental an aspect of one’s being human, that lack of empathy can be seen as being inhuman (e.g., Keen 2008: 6; Blankenship 2019: 38).

The short review of Migrant Aesthetics is that it sets up an either/or choice between ending empire (e.g., colonialism, imperialism, racism, and so on) and expanding a rigorous and critical empathy. Then mutilates empathy by confusing it with projection, emotional contagion, conformity, and other forms of miscommunication. Not surprising, the result is some 285 pages of penetrating analysis in which the reader does not get a single example of the practice of empathy resulting in a successful empathic relatedness in literary fiction. The forced choice between expanding empathy and ending (or limiting) empire must be refused. Both results are needed. More on that shortly. 

Meanwhile, the longer review: the practice of a rigorous and critical empathy knows that it can be wrong and can break down, misfire or go astray, flat out fail, as projection, emotional contagion, conformity, or communications getting lost in translation. It is precisely in engaging with and overcoming these obstacles and resistances to empathy that empathic relatedness and community are brought forth. Like with most powerful methods, skills, or interventions, practice makes the master. As a successful and popular teacher, Carpio knows the value of empathy, nor is mention of the word itself required. The good news is that empathy works whether one names it or not, whether one believes in it or not. 

As noted, the issue is that in 285 pages of penetrating, incisive analysis of migrant aesthetics (the category, not the title), there is not a single example of what an effective example of successful empathy. The reader is not given a single example of what healthy empathic relatedness would look like, so that one could identify it if one happened to encounter it. This bears repeating: in some 285 pages of summary and analysis of the literary fictions of Dinaw Mengestu, Teju Cole, Aleksandar Hemon, Valeria Luiselli, Julie Otsuka, Junot Diaz, and some nonfiction of others, Migrant Aesthetics   does not cite a single example of empathy that works right or functions as designed. Granted that empathy does not always succeed, the reader does not learn what a healthy, rigorous and critical empathy might look like if, rare as it may be, one happened to encounter empathy. None. Not one single example of what empathy looks like when it succeeds in producing empathic relatedness. This must give the reader pause. We take a step back—but not too far back.

If truth is the first casualty of war—try substituting one of Carpio’s key words “empire” for “war”—then empathy is a close second. In an astute and penetrating analysis, consistently engaging and controversial, Migrant Aesthetics   periodically pauses to “foreclose empathy” or the possibility of an empathic response. The steady drumbeat of foreclosing, undercutting, invalidating, or dismissing empathy occurs like a recurring rhythm that, to this reviewer, suggests an editorial decision or personal commitment or both. 

Now I might be wrong but I understand “foreclose” as used in Migrant Aesthetics, not the Lacanian/Hegelian sense of “aufgehoben,” cancel and preserve, but what one does when one can’t pay the mortgage—hand over the property, abandoning it in lieu of payment. You wouldn’t want to be aufgehoben would you? In any case, the term is used in a devaluing way—like it is a bad thing to empathize at the point of foreclosure.

There are many things about which to be aggrieved in a world inheriting the violent outcomes (still ongoing) of colonialism, imperialism, prejudice, summarized as “empire,” but Migrant Aesthetics’ main grievance is reserved for empathy. I hasten to add that I am against pain and suffering of all kinds including that caused by empire, imperialism, colonialism, and prejudice. I do not carry water for the pathologies of capitalism and call out the distortions of empathy under capitalism. The boss is “empathic” towards the wage slaves in their cubicles—in order to expand productivity. Happy workers work harder and are more productive. The salesman takes a walk in the shoes of the customer—in order to sell him or her another pair! 

Granted, Michael Jordan reportedly said that even Republicans (people in the political party) buy athletic sneakers (see also Adams 2016), implying he was happy to sell them while disagreeing politically. Under empire one gets mutilated empathy. 

That empathy can be distorted, misused, and pathologized—mutilated—no more invalidates empathy than that Roman soldiers drove spikes into the limbs of the people they were crucifying invalidates carpentry. Admittedly an extreme example, but it does make the point that carpentry is a wholesome and useful practice – and so is empathizing. 

In Migrant Aesthetics, the problems of empire are so complex, messy, intractable, one has to blame something—let’s blame empathy—for example, instead of pointing to human aggression as a variable hidden in plain view. Empathy did not and does not succeed in solving these problems, though empathy is a proven method of deescalating violence in situations of conflict.  However, note well, there is a readiness assessment for empathy—the parties must be willing to try. 

The critique of empire, colonialism, prejudice, and so on, is indispensably committed to empathy for another reason that does not seem to occur to Migrant Aesthetics. Whenever a great injustice is about to be perpetrated, the first step is to deny, suspend, cancel, the empathy of the proposed devalued Other, the soon-to-be-victim. Thus, the comparison of about-to-be-victims to insects, with whom we humans notoriously have trouble empathizing; and thus, the required wearing of the yellow star prior to deportation; and parallel methods of alienation. The perpetrators apply mutilated empathy to the intended victims. No good comes of it. 

Migrant Aesthetics does not “get it” regarding empathy, and, strangely enough, risks incurring the aesthetic reeducation that gives comfort to certain forms of fascist thinking that begin by driving out critical thinking, empathy, and, above all, a rigorous and critical empathy. We shall recur frequently to the empathic blind spots of the mutilated empathy of migrant aesthetics (the category, not merely the book) in this review. I hasten to add, this review is long, and engaging with this book has been vexing, albeit an empathic labor of love, but the review is still a lot shorter than the book, thereby sparing you, dear reader, who will not need further to engage after this thorough discussion. 

Meanwhile, at the risk of being cynical, consistency is over-rated: Migrant Aesthetics makes significant use of standard empathy, though unacknowledged. The simplest narrative would be unintelligible and would read like the railroad schedule unless one brings empathy to the narrative. One can engage in producing “impassable” distances “between the reader and the text” (p. 39) and a “forceful rejection of readerly empathy” (p. 148), but, having done so, one should not be surprised that the narrative is drained of vitality, strength, energy, and aliveness. And sometimes that is the point as in Ronald Barthes (1953) “writing degree zero,” a “colorless writing, freed from all bondage to a pre-ordained state of language.” Less is more.  (For example, see the rediscovery of “writing degree zero” without acknowledging the phrase (Carpio: 11).) 

In addition, though reasonable people may disagree, Barthes asserts that in writing degree zero the author is collective and group-oriented. The distinction “choral” as used in Migrant Aesthetics  had not been invented yet, but the idea is the various authors “pass around” the manifesto, literary artwork, or press release on which they are working. The sun sets on the individual author’s voice, who, even if she is not dead, joins the FBI witness protection program and goes underground (Barthes 1968). 

My assertion is that empathy is indispensable even when employing distancing methods of alienation (think of Berthold Brecht’s Epic Theatre). Perspective taking, taking a walk in the Other’s shoes after first taking off one’s own (the folk definition of empathy), is a necessary condition for making sense out of the story as the occurrence of human events. Indeed a minimalist approach often lets the empathy emerge more forcefully, for example, in Virginia Woolf,’s Nathalie Sarraute’s, or Albert Camus’ writings. Of Migrant Aesthetics’  favorite authors, Teju Cole, Julie Otsuka and Valeria Luiselli are towards the top of the “less is more” in writing list. 

A possible way forward (not called out by Migrant Aesthetics), in which, in spite of the resistances and obstacles of empire, empathy and literary fiction intersect productively, is invoking the speech act of conversational implicative. This, as noted, brings forth the didactic alienation effect of Brecht’s epic theatre.  “Conversational implicature” is an indirect speech act that suggests an idea or thought, even though the thought is not literally expressed. Conversational implicature creates distance between the reader and the text, which is more like a tenuous suspension bridge of rope over the river rapids in the jungle than a highway on the interstate. Conversation implicature lets the empathy in—and out—to be expressed without the psychological mechanisms of emotional contagion, projection, conformity, and so on, which result in mutilated empathy. Such implicature expands the power and provocation of empathy precisely by not saying something explicitly but hinting at what happened. This distinction (conversational implicature) seems to live in the empathic blind spot of migrant aesthetics. The information is incomplete, the context unclarified, and the reader is challenged to feel her/his way forward using the available micro-expressions, clues, and hints. Instead of saying “she was raped and the house was haunted by a ghost,” one must gather the implications. In an example, not in Carpio, from Toni Morrison’s Beloved, one reads: 

Not only did she have to live out her years in a house palsied by the baby’s fury at having its throat cut, but those ten minutes she spent pressed up against dawn-colored stone studded with star chips, her knees wide open as the grave, were longer than life, more alive, more pulsating than the baby blood that soaked her fingers like oil (Morrison 1987: 5–6). 

The reader does a double-take. What just happened? Then the casual conversation resumes about getting a different place to live, which one had been having when this erupted, as the reader tries to integrate what just happened into a semi-coherent narrative. Yet why should a narrative of incomprehensibly inhumane events make more sense than the events themselves? When the event are inhumane perhaps the empathic receptivity consists precisely in being with their inhumanity without doing something “human” like weeping or rending one’s garments. No good reason – except that humans inevitably try to make sense of the incomprehensible. “Not a house in the country ain’t packed to its rafters with some dead Negro’s grief” (1987: 6). One of the effects and empathy lessons is to get the reader to think about the network of implications in which are expressed the puzzles and provocations of what really matters at fundamental level. (For more on conversational implicature see Levinson 1983: 9 –165.) 

For example, at the end of Berthold Brecht’s Mother Courage, all her children are dead—but she continues to follow the soldiers, selling them gun powder and provisions, more dedicated to her commercial (read: “capitalist”) enterprises than to her children. No catharsis of pity and fear here, and the viewer’s empathy is not mutilated by emotional upset, projection, conformity, and so on. The viewer’s empathy is left with pent up emotional upset that may usefully be directed into changing the social and economic conditions that allow such a possibility. Any maybe that is the point. However, even in this case the distancing does not work without a “top down,” cognitive empathy that gets one to think.

There is nothing wrong as such with Migrant Aesthetics. But there is something missing. The reader (audience) does not find out what a healthy relationship looks like. As for Morrison, she discovers the hope of wholeness and integrity elsewhere in the text, pointing to an example of one as the shadows of the characters are holding hands, indicating the possibility of family (Morrison 1987: 67). Otherwise, migrant aesthetics is littered with limbs and fragments of human beings—both the bones of dead refugees in the desert and emotional trauma—not a whole person in sight anyway. The author may argue back: “You have now got the point—thus, the consequences of empire!” Point taken, yet—the issue is that one is not on the slippery slope to the aestheticization (and anesthetization) of violence, trauma porn, and moral trauma, one is at the bottom of it. The empathy is as mutilated by projection, emotional contagion, conformity, and so on, as the desperate lives of the migrants wandering in the wilderness of empire. Heavens knows, empathy has its limitations, but not one single example of a healthy, robust, effective application of empathy?  

As an exercise, the reader is invited to find an example of an empathic relationship in the writings of Dinaw Mengestu, Teju Cole, Junot Diaz, exemplified in Migrant Aesthetics. Once again, there is nothing wrong as such with the roll call of traumatic outrages perpetrated by bad actors and the survivors themselves—yet one must be a tad masochistic to engage with the outcomes of so much toxicity, violence, and aggressive masculinity—so much empire. Tragedy—the artform, not merely today’s news—is rich in examples of survivors who become perpetrators (and vice versa (e.g., 9, 19, 30, 43, 167)) but, without empathy, the result is just catastrophe, wreck, and ruin. 

The choice between expanding empathy and ending empire is a false choice. It must be declined. Both are worthy objectives. In two cases, the migrant authors with whom Migrant Aesthetics   is engaging get close to a successful application of empathy, but then fall short. The short coming (I assert) is not in Edwidge Danticat or in Karla Carnejo Villavicencio, but in Migrant Aesthetics’ misreadings of their contribution to a rigorous and critical empathy, a misreading that seems designed uncharitably to make sure that empathy is not credited with making a difference. 

First, in the case of Edwidge Danticat’s Brother, I’m Dying (which, however, is a memoir not fiction), the author comes close to endorsing the use of Danticat’s work empathically to train U.S. custom officers and immigration workers, directly quoting Danticat: “[…] [F]or if ‘they can only remember that they are dealing with human beings at possibly the worst moments of their lives and not mere numbers or so-called ‘aliens,’ then they would do a better job” (Carpio 2023: 218). But then Migrant Aesthetics   pulls back and forcloses the empathy as providing a handbook for welcoming migrants instead of part of systemic empire, for example, that aligns the U.S. imperialism of the invasion of Haiti with the invasion of Iraq. What I can’t figure out is why one has to choose between welcoming those migrants, whether using an empathic “handbook” or not, and further debunking the by now well-known and appalling mistakes of the so-called war on terrorism? Doesn’t the world need both expanded empathy and political action against the abuses of the war on terrorism and imperialism? 

Second, Carpio credits Karla Cornejo Villavicencio with being motivated by the belief that literature can create productive empathy, or at least compassion (Carpio: 234), quoting Karla:

Art allows us to feel for the pain of others who have or will experience pain we cannot imagine or cannot ever happen to us. Even if we cannot feel it, or imagine it, that’s just human limitation. A failure of imagination can be compensated by the construction of a sturdy enough bridge of artistic articulation of that pain, and if it’s honest enough, we may not feel it—though in some cases we may—but we will feel for our fellow humans, and that is the job of the artist (Carpio: 234)

However, then Migrant Aesthetics undercuts this quote by detecting “ambivalence” in Villavicencio. Heavens to Murgatroyd! If Villavicencio were not ambivalent about vicariously feeling the pain of Others, one would have to dismiss her as being unempathic. And Migrant Aesthetics   actually does something like that as it again tries to force a choice where none is warranted between struggling human beings, the unnamed migrants over whose graves no one has prayed, and contingent forces (including empire, etc.) that force them to migrate and become refugees. Migrant Aesthetics   devalues Villavicencio’s empathy for struggling humanity—she almost gets there—but then she does not—and ends on a note of haunting and shame. This steady drum beat of the devaluing of empathy must give one pause. There’s another agenda here with the constant rhythm of dozens of mentions of various forms of empathy, and not a positive productive application of empathy in sight. What’s going on here?

Caprio asserts: “…[W]hat has been my centra argument in this work: that the history of empire is key in understanding the roots of migration at a scale appropriate to its global dimensions (Carpio: 228).” That to be forced from one’s home and become a refuse of the road is surely a source of enormous pain and suffering. Here the connection is direct—cause (routed from one’s home by aggression, starvation, etc.) and effect (pain, suffering). At the risk of over-simplification, yet a compelling one, white Europeans with cannons and machine guns go to Africa and Asia and exploit the natural resources and enslave or dominate the locals. A small subset of the locals is coopted—analogous to the concentration camp capos, both perpetrators and survivors (until they are not) being chosen from the prisoners—to make the job of the ruling class easier. Even the prisoners then become perpetrators as one starving persons “steals” bread or water from another or lies to save his own skin, thereby endangering another. And some of those locals migrant back to headquarters, whether London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, London, New York or Paris. 

Now if anyone seriously believes that empathy is going to solve the problems created by empire, colonialism, imperialism, and so, then—how shall I put it delicately?—empathy is being “over sold.” This is usually the first step in setting up empathy as a “strawman” to be blamed for not fixing the many challenges facing civilized human beings committed to building a community that works for all persons.

There are at least two hidden variables behind the problematic causal analysis of empire that would help connect the dots: Human aggression and human hunger (hunger for many things, but here for food). These human beings are an aggressive species—and biologically omnivores. People can be kind and compassionate and empathic, but they also can behave aggressively and violently. Even if committed vegetarians, people also need to eat quite regularly, if not exactly three times a day. 

To say, as Migrant Aesthetics does, that the arrival of the white European conquistador and their horses in the new world in 1492 was a catastrophe for the original inhabitants gets the measure of the event about right. In a way, the displacement of the Cherokee Nation from Georgia to Oklahoma is a kind of migration; but not really. It is a death march with strong aspects of genocide. 

By all means denounce empire, but a more useful approach consistent with it might be to elaborate an analysis of human aggression, territoriality, lack of education, lack of critical thinking, the disturbing tendency of many human beings fanatically to follow authoritarian figures off a cliff. In that context, empathy is a proven way of deescalating violence and aggression. 

Unfortunately, once a “policeman” is kneeling on your neck or someone throws a bomb, it is too late for empathy. The perpetrator fails the readiness assessment for empathy and it is necessary to invoke self-defense. And remember the best defense is a good offense—provided that it is proportionate to the incoming violence (which is notoriously hard to determine). Self-defense, setting limits, establishing boundaries are what is needed. There is a readiness assessment for empathy, and it requires that one be relatively safe and secure in one’s own person. Empathy 101 teaches that empathy does not work an active battlefield, if one is starving to death, or hanging upside down in a torture chamber. Never underestimate the power of empathy—never—but empathy in such extreme situations ends up looking like what the FBI Hostage Negotiating team uses to open communication with the hostage takers, or looking like “Red Team, Red Team!”—think like the opponent in a war game (e.g., Zenko 2015). As it stands, Migrant Aesthetics   misunderstands empathy, mutilates it, and then blames empathy because empathy can be misapplied by migrant authors, some of the male members of which are both perpetrators and survivors, for calling attention to their plight and that of the devalued Other within us all.

The dialectic of unanticipated consequences marches on. The “classic” traditional migrant fictions of Willa Cather’s My Ántonia (1918) and Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle (1906) are noticeably absent in streets paved with gold, though one recurring, invariable constant among immigrants, refugees, and migrants is that they all express motivation to make a better life for their children. The Lithuanian migrants in The Jungle claw their way to a conclusion in which they are learning to speak socialist truth to power, having adopted a progressive socialist program that is today considered unradical because it is the law of the land. Sinclair joked: “I aimed at the public’s heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach” as citizens insisted on the Meat Inspection Act the Pure Food and Drug act. The folks in My Ántonia are trying to grow crops in Nebraska, which in the first map of North American was designed as “the great American desert.” In Ole Edvart Rolvaag’s Giants in the Earth(1927), set in South Dakota, also part of the Great American Desert, no mention is made of the original inhabitants, who have already been buried at Wounded Knee, and the main action is the battle against a ferocious climate: snow storms, locusts who ravage the crops, hunger, isolation, cultural alienation of the children, and the stereotypical mad scene of the heroine prior to a Christian-based recovery of spirituality. Though the sustainability of the Ogalala Aquifer continues to be a concern, the migrants succeed in getting the desert to bloom.

The other hidden variable is that these humans are a hungry species. At the risk of over-simplification, long since incurred, the development of Cyrus McCormick’s combine-wheat-reaper, and the follow-on agribusiness technology, allow some 2% of the population to grow enough food to feed the entire planet; and this in spite of the fact that human choices made under aggression continue to use food as a weapon of starvation. Prior to the Green Revolution, the other 98% of the population had to work twelve to sixteen hours a day to grow enough food to avoid slow death by starvation. As noted, the migrant classics, admittedly shot through with empire, of Willa Cather and Ole Edvart Rolvaag, in which hunger is an ever-present specter, pending a successful harvest. Meanwhile, apparently large dairy herds really do contribute to greenhouse gases. 

It is hard not to be a tad cynical: quit one’s day job as a Mandarin professor pronouncing ex cathedra or a highly compensated empathy consultant and spend twelve hours a day growing one’s own food. “We are star dust, we are billion-year-old carbon – get back to the land and get your soul free”? The melting of the polar ice cap at the north pole and the opening of the long-sought “northwest passage” is evidence of global warming that, absent delusional thinking, is hard-to-dispute. Nor is it a contradiction that both human-made greenhouses gases the earth’s procession of the equinox work together multiplicatively toward the trend of global warming. On background, the procession of the equinoxes is the tilt of the planet earth that causes an arrow pointing upward from the north pole towards the North Star to spin around the North Star rather than directly at it in a 25K year cycle, resulting in a regular measurable tilt toward and away from the sun that arguably is enough to contribute significantly to global cycles of warming and cooling. Splitting—either human’s hunger for meat versus the continency of a wobbly planet—offers a false choice and must be declined. 

The grievance against empathy continues: Migrant Aesthetics   writes (p. 4): “More broadly, the genre of immigrant literature depends on a model of reading founded on empathy—a model that my book takes to task. Literature promotes empathy, we are told, but empathy can easily slip into a projection of readers’ feelings and even into outright condescension.” As a reviewer, I am holding my head in my hands and rocking back-and-forth quasi-catatonically. I am in disbelief at the lack of common sense, lack of critical thinking, and absence of argumentative charity in confusing empathy and projection. Projection is a breakdown of empathy. Projection is a misfiring and/or going off the rails of empathy. Projection is a “getting lost in translation” of empathy. Now attribute these to empathy and dismiss empathy. Hmmm. 

As regards “a model of reading founded on empathy,” please stop right there. Reading the story would not work—would not make any sense—would, strictly speaking, be unintelligible without empathy. The story would sound like reading the bus schedule when the public transit was on strike. Nonsense. Mumbo-jumbo. Without the empathic ability to translate the thoughts and feedings enacted in the story into actions and conditions that matter to the reader, the story would be empty and meaningless, lacking vitality, energy, strength or aliveness. Without empathy, the actions and contingencies, the struggles and high spirits, setbacks and successes, that are represented in the story would be strange sounds and gestures appearing to an anthropologist on Mars or on her first day in an alien culture, prior to marshalling her empathic skills. Never underestimate the power of storytelling, but absent empathy, it does not get traction. All reading is founded on empathy.

Migrant Aesthetics “forecloses” (rejects) empathy, then immediately lets it back in, because empathy is indispensable.  Carpio (p. 8): “[…] [T]he writers I examine reject empathy as the main mode of rationality, opting instead for what Hannah Arendt called “representative thinking” that is, they urge reader to think, as themselves, from the position of another person and thus to call into question their own preconceptions and actions.” Thus, Migrant Aesthetics   rejects empathy while calling out including “the position of another person,” which is precisely the folk definition of empathy. 

Arendt’s reference here is of course to a single line in Kant’s Third Critique (1791/93 (AA 158)) about “enlarged thinking” [erweiterten…Denkungart] that is, to think from the perspective of the Other. Sounds like the folk definition of empathy to me. This cipher of “enlarged thinking”, which remains unintegrated in Kant, became the inspiration for Arendt’s incomplete third volume of the life of the mind on political judgment. Once again, it is the folk definition of empathy.

The fan out is challenging at this point. This single quote from Arendt plays such a significant role in Migrant Aesthetics   that there is no avoiding a dive into Arendt scholarship. By invoking the formidable name and work of Hannah Arendt, who was herself a migrant refugee (note well!), a Jewish person fleeing from the Nazis, a whole new thread is started. 

Arendt rarely uses the word “empathy,” though “animal pity” gets called out in the context of Himmler’s fake empathy (Arendt 1971: 105–106; Agosta 2010: 73). Arendt is not thought of as an advocate for empathy, though, in its own Kantian way, her work is rich in empathic understanding. In one of her few uses of the word “empathy” itself, the otherwise astute Arendt claims that “empathy” requires becoming the Other in a kind of merger, which, of course, is the breakdown of empathy into emotional contagion. Other than this terminological slip up, Arendt’s analysis is an incisive application of empathy to politics in “Truth and Politics” in Between Past and Future (1968: 9):

I form an opinion by considering a given issue from different viewpoints, by making present to my mind the standpoints of those who are absent; that is, I represent them. This process of representation does not blindly adopt the actual views of those who stand somewhere else, and hence look upon the world from a different perspective; this is a question neither of empathy, as though I tried to be or to feel like somebody else, nor of counting noses and joining a majority but of being and thinking in my own identity where actually I am not. The more people’s standpoints I have present in my mind while I am pondering a given issue, and the better I can imagine how I would feel and think if I were in their place, the stronger will be my capacity for representative thinking and the more valid my final conclusions… The very process of opinion formation is determined by those in whose places somebody thinks and uses his own mind, and the only condition for this exertion of the imagination is disinterestedness, the liberation from one’s own private interests (Arendt 1968: 9; italics added).

The word “empathy” is in principle dispensable here, and Arendt’s lovely phrase “one trains one’s imagination to go visiting [the Other]” is an exact description of empathic understanding, though not empathic receptivity of the Other’s feelings/emotions. One does not blindly adopt the Other’s point of view—one takes off one’s own shoes before trying on the Other’s. Even in a thoughtless moment, more thinking occurs in Arendt’s casual, throw-away use of a word, than in most people’s entire dictionaries. If necessary, Arendt may be read against herself, for the simple introduction of the distinction “vicarious experience” of an Other’s experience is sufficient to contain all the puzzling cases about being or becoming someone else. As a good Kantian, Arendt would appreciate in a universalizing moment that Kant’s sensus communus [“common sense” as an instrument of judgment] is what enables people to judge by means of feelings as well as concepts, but that it is a false splitting to force a choice between feeling and thinking—both are required to have a complete experience of the Other. 

Regarding Arendt’s use of the word “empathy” [Einfühlung] itself, it is likely she encountered it in Martin Heidegger’s Being and Time (1927: H125 [pagination of the German Niemeyer edition]), which she studied carefully. There Heidegger undercuts Max Scheler’s use of the term in criticizing Theodor LIpps, who uses of the term in his (Lipps’) Aesthetics (1903; see also Lipps 1909), in which Lipps defines empathy [Einfühlung] as a kind of aesthetic projection of the subject’s feelings onto art and nature (and the Other). The examples of an angry storm at sea or the melancholy weeping willow trees or the smiling clouds and cheerful sunrise come to mind. The matter is a tangle, which I disentangle in Agosta (2014).

The controversy continues to fan out as Migrant Aesthetics   marshals the authority of Namwali Serpall’s “The Banality of Empathy” (2019). Nice title. This is a reference to Arendt’s book Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil (1971), about which it is hard to say just a little. I shall try. One of Arendt’s recurring themes is that evil is a consequence of thoughtlessness. Eichmann was a simpleton, a “Hans Wurst” from the folktale, who did not think and just followed orders. The wanted-dead-or-alive poster for Thoughlessness has Eichmann’s photo on it. The result of thoughtlessness was catastrophe. Indeed. Of course, Eichmann had many fellow travelers in genocide. 

If one empathizes thoughtlessly, the banality of empathy of Serpall’s title, then one is at risk of empathy misfiring as projection, emotional contagion, conformity, and so on. Just so. A rigorous and critical empathy is required to guard against these risks, and Arendt, no advocate for sloppy anything, much less sloppy empathy, is halfway, but not all-the-way, there with her invocation of Kant’s rigorous and critical method. The above-cited quotation from Arendt and my analysis of terms must count towards a clarification of the nuances of the matter.

Serpall’s article then raises the question about narrative art “If witnessing suffering firsthand doesn’t spark good deeds, why do we think art about suffering will?” Though this may have been intended as a rhetorical question, the answer requires an empirical, fact-based inquiry. Some witnessing of suffering does indeed spark good deeds. The typical Samaritan becomes the Good Samaritan when he stops to help the survivor of the robbery thereby creating neighborliness and community; whereas the Levite and Priest succumb to empathic distress and cross the road, thereby expanding indifference and alienation. These events get “narrativized” in the Parable of the same name, which, in turn, inspires some to good deeds, though others are left paralyzed by empathic distress. 

As Suzanne Keen (2007) points out, some stories such as Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin have an outsized effect on positive politics, rallying people to the cause of the abolition of slavery; whereas other novels such as The Turner Diaries may arguably have given comfort to white supremacy and provided bomb-making instructions to domestic terrorists. The answer to Serpall’s (or the editor’s) question is direct: we think art will inspire good deeds because we find examples of art’s doing so, albeit with conditions and qualifications. The evidence isthat’s what happened. The more important issue is to distinguish how art can transfigure the pain and suffering of the migrant (and suffering humanity at large), overcoming trauma, or how such attempts risk devolving into what is sometimes called “trauma porn,” engaging the graphical description of trauma without the “disinterestedness of art,” resulting in a kind of indulgent “orgasm” of aggressive violent fantasies. (As a benchmark, and acknowledging that reasonable people may disagree, an example of trauma porn (other than snuff videos on the dark web) would be Mel Gibson’s film (2004), The Passion of the Christ.)  

Arendt is sometimes accused, I believe unfairly, of being tin-eared in her statements about US race relations and desegregation, especially in Little Rock, AK in 1957. When the 13-year-old Arendt was subjected to antisemitic comments by her teacher at school in the late 1920s, her mother withdrew her under protocol and protest and home-schooled Hannah. You have to get the picture here: the young Hannah reading the leather-bound Kantian First Critique in her late father’s vast library. Seemingly following the recommendation that Migrant Aesthetics   (pp. 8, 13, 201) attributes to Arendt, she adopts a position, not a person, regarding US race relations (circa 1957!). “Positions not persons” is a fine slogan. It doesn’t work. Another false choice? The young black children in Little Rock, Arkansas, in 1957 needed to get into the classroom to actually get books from the school library as some black families did not own a single book other than the bible (which, in a pinch, is an excellent choice, nevertheless…). That Arendt’s empathy misfires no more means that she lacks empathy or that empathy is invalid than that a driver who forgets to use her turn signal does not know how to drive (though she may get a citation!). 

What is rarely noted by Arendt scholars is Arendt’s own strategic use of empathy in escaping from the Nazis. Having been arrested for Zionist “propaganda” activity by the Nazis, she builds an empathic rapport with the Gestapo prosecuting attorney, who is interviewing her in the same basement from which other Jewish people are deported to Buchenwald or Dachau. The result was not predictable. Arendt was released on her own recognizance, and, of course, she had immediately to flee across the border illegally. Now while we will never know all the nuances—in the interview (1964) she makes it sound like part of her tactic to save her own life was that she bats her eyelashes at the young naïve Gestapo prosecutor, who has just been transferred from the criminal to the political division—more grim humor—but, don’t laugh, it worked. Never underestimate the power of empathy. (See Arendt’s interview with English subtitles “Hannah Arendt: Im Gespräch mit Günter Gaus” (1964).[1]

Resuming the main line of the argument, Migrant Aesthetics   continues the devaluation of empathy. It is choral. Migrant Aesthetics   paraphrases the novelist, professor, and celebrity migrant [Viet Thanh] Nguyen (p. 31): “Nguyen argues that empathy, while being necessary for human connection, cannot be relied upon as the basis of political action because it is selective and unstable; it can easily morph into solipsism and escapism.” Wait a minute! Empathy “being necessary for human connection,” please stop right there! Take away empathy, the requirement for human connection is cancelled and—solipsism and escapism are the result. How shall I put it delicately? By their own words, they shall be exposed; looks like a solid case of the emperor’s new clothes, to quote the late Sinéad O’Connor. Once again, I am sitting here holding my head in my hands, rocking back and forth semi-catatonically, amazed that the breakdown of connectedness such as solipsism and escapism should be made an essential part of empathy’s defining features. Take away human connection, which empathy brings forth, pathological forms of domination occur such as “the structural inequities of a settler colonial state.” Ouch! It is like invalidating carpentry because an apprentice carpenter hits his thumb with the hammer (we will leave that other example behind for now). It is a problem that empathy is sometimes selective (parochial) and unstable like the human beings who try to apply it. The solution is expanded empathy. Unstable indeed. So far, the only thing stable about Migrant Aesthetics’ argument is its devaluing of empathy. 

Nor is this necessarily an accurate representation of Nguyen position, who (I suggest) sees himself as an educator not a political infighter. Two wrongs do not make a right. The commitment to human rights is worth sustaining even in the face of the inhumanity of empire, which presents false choices between empathy and conformity. Human beings are a kind and empathic species, as noted, and they are also an aggressive and hungry one. Nguyen: “Art is one of the things that can keep our minds and hearts open, that can help us see beyond the hatred of war, that can make us understand that we cannot be divided into the human versus the inhuman because we are, all of us, human and inhuman at the same time” (quoted in Goldberg 2023). Nor is this to endorse the inhumane behavior of many humans. Once again, Nguyen knows one does not have to choose between ending empire and expanding empathy.

To compete the discussion of Arendt (1955/68: 153–206), she wrote a short intellectual biography of Walter Benjamin (1892–1940) in Men in Dark Times. Separately, Benjamin warned that the aestheticization of politics risks turning artistic expression into fascism. The theatrical (“artistic”) spectacle of a torch light parades at Nurnberg, Germany, (1933–1938) by masses of brown shirt storm troopers around a bonfire burning the canonical novels of western civilization is a mutilation of empathy into the emotional contagion of crowds as well as a mutilation of that civilization itself. Once again, it is hard to say just a little bit about this, nor is this review going to solve the problem of the relation between the aesthetic and the political. It is a disappointment that Arendt did not live long enough to complete more than a single sentence of her deep dive into the relation between Kant’s Critique of (Aesthetic) Judgment and politics; nor is it likely that such a project would have produced what Hegel produced when he undertook such a deep dive: The Philosophy of Right (1921), which read superficially gives the authority of The State a leading role in political life: “It is the way of God in the world, that there should be a state” according to Walter Kaufman’s translation. Migrant aesthetics politicizes aesthetics with an anti-fascist, anti-imperialist, anti-empire-ist commitments, rhetoric (in the classical sense), and expressions, without necessarily making practical recommendations for political action. Migrant Aesthetics   expels empathy from the garden of artistic achievement, because empathy does not provide a stable basis for political action. Never underestimate the relevance of Immanuel Kant, yet if one wants measurable results from political action, apply Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals (1971) or analysis based on Eric Hoffer’s The True Believer (1951), not Kant’s Third Critique. Hoffer calls out the mutilated logic of totalitarian thinking; and Alinsky knew quite a lot about building communities, and though he did not use the word “empathy,” empathy lives in building community.

Migrant Aesthetics cites the eight definitions of empathy, or, more exactly, empathically-relevant phenomena, starting from C. Daniel Batson (2012). Migrant Aesthetics   is also conversant with Susan Lanzoni’s (2018) magisterial account Empathy: A History, which includes many more definitions. Martha Nussbaum’s (and other’s) argument is cited that “the belief that reading fiction improves individuals’ empathic power” (Carpio: 11). However, on the latter position, see Suzanne Keen’s above-cited point about this requiring an empirical, fact-based inquiry. Those who bring an ounce of empathy to quality literature, often come away with a pound of empathy; but bad actors who, for example, bring white supremacy to their reading come away with further bad actions. If a slave owner had read Uncle Tom’s Cabin, it is probable that he would have come away saying, as regards the beating death, “That slave had it comin!’ Was exactly what he deserved!” The reader missed the point. And on that grim note we turn to the survivor/perpetrators, who form a large part of the “data,” the literary narratives, in Migrant Aesthetics

 The first fictional witness is Dinaw Mengestu’s protagonist Isaac from All Our Names (2014). Fleeing from war in Ethiopia to Uganda, he goes from the frying pan to the fire. His mentor perpetrates mass murder. Isaac is forced to cover up the crimes by burying the victims in a mass grave. Isaac is coopted into delivering arms to young boys—child soldiers—who perpetrate their own outrages before perishing. Isaac survives, smuggling himself to the States in a small trunk in a scene reminiscent of the animation Aladdin with the Genie who has to spend 10,000 years in the bottle, but it is not nearly as funny. The entire story is told from two points of view, that of Isaac, who has survived the atrocities of the unnamed but Ida-Amin-like authoritarian monster; and that of the mild-mannered white social worker, Helen, assigned to Isaac to help with his recovery—as it were, the poster child for empathy. The differences in their respective experiences are a powerful setup to challenge anyone’s empathy—but especially Helen’s and the reader’s. 

The social worker, Helen, strives to map the scope and limits of her empathy, but her empathy is tin-eared, ineffective, and misfires. The client, Isaac, needs a lot of things that Helen can’t give him—fluency in English, a good paying job, a relationship with a romantic partner who appreciates him as a possibility (and vice versa). The one thing Helen is most able to do—give Isaac a good listening—give him empathic receptivity—she fails at—badly. In a clumsy social psychology experiment, Helen tries to overcome the de facto segregation of her small town’s local diner by having dinner there with Isaac. This role playing results in a kind of fake empathy, the projection of a stereotype onto Isaac, not the building of community. In a perfect storm of projection, emotional contagion, and the breakdown of empathic boundaries into sentimentality, Helen gets over involved. 

Once again, how shall I put it delicately? Pretending to address the fictional heroine, the therapy does not work, Helen, if you sleep with the client. She does. Predictably this blows up any possibility of a rigorous and critical empathy, restoration of wholeness, or overcoming trauma. This is not to say that the sex was not satisfying. Empathy makes for great sex between mutually consenting partners, but regardless of the details, Helen perpetrates a boundary violation. Certainly unethical, possibly illegal, the power differential between therapist and patient is such that the client cannot give consent, even if he initiates the “seduction.” He is a powerful actor in escaping from civil war and so on; but his agency is compromised, and he cannot escape from bad therapy. It is neither empathy nor pity; it is a boundary violation and should not be represented otherwise. Granted, it makes for a great melodrama and a great screen play such as Netflix’s “In session.” Just that the breakdown of boundaries between self and Other in the context of therapy forecloses the client’s, Isaac’s, recovery. Fortunately, his aspirations as a writer—perhaps the shadow cast by Mengestu over his character, Isaac, – showing the latter the way forward. The survivor/perpetrator creates some empathy, however incomplete and tentative, for himself in his art. 

The cultural difference, language difference, difference in experience, and Isaac’s traditional devaluation of woman’s power, are all obstacle to empathy. This is supposed to invalidate empathy? Drive out the obstacles and resistances and empathy naturally comes forth. When the obstacles and resistance are human aggression and empire, that is going to be a big job, though not impossible as the client and therapist are caught in a double bind. Isaac is already a perpetrator and a survivor. Helen becomes one too. The result is the double bind of moral trauma (a distinction missing from Migrant Aesthetics), to which we shall return momentarily. The relationship between Helen and Isaac fails as tragedy because it delivers wreck and ruin instead of recovery form trauma (whether standard or moral) or artistic transfiguration. However, that does not mean that empathy caused xenophobia. The narrow-minded parochialism of projection causes xenophobia; and the solution to parochialism is expanded empathy.

In another story, migrant aesthetics’ mutilated empathy is painfully on display. Migrant Aesthetics   writes (p. 7): “The narrator, now known as Jonas, struggles to come to terms both with himself and with his father’s silence about his migration and his physical abuse of the narrator’s mother. One might even argue that the narrator instrumentalizes Yosef’s migration story to explain his own abusive impulses toward his girldfriend.” How shall I put it delicately? Intimate partner physical abuse is not an “instrumentalization”—whatever that is—it is a crime, and should never be represented any other way. Is it not the reader’s empathy—and perhaps the author’s—that is precisely at stake here? This does not mean I am in favor of empire. I am against empire, colonialism, and so on, as well as using them as excuses for people rich with possibility behaving badly. 

The next witness to the many mutilations of empathy is Teju Cole’s anti-hero, Juilus, in Open City (2011). Information asymmetries in fiction are at least as old as Oedipus’ not knowing his biological parents—oh boy, did that create some mischief. Arguably Oedipus was the original refugee, seeing as how he was abandoned to die by his biological parents and rescued by poor people from the neighboring country, Thebes. 

In addition to information asymmetries, moral ambiguities are key ways of creating engaging narratives. For example, Stephen Boccho’s cop show Hill Street Blues (1981–1987) innovated in popularizing moral ambiguities. A protagonist is introduced sympathetically, inviting the identification, if not the empathy, of the audience, then he or she does something appalling. The good cop is the bad cop (and vice versa). The viewer’s (reader’s) emotional conflict is guaranteed—and the audience is hooked. Highly derivative, but no less engaging for all that, the mild-manner medical student/resident in psychiatry, Julius, is burdened with an altered mental state, a fugue state not exacty epilepsy and resembling multiple personality disorder, in which the “alters” do not know about one another. The issues comes out like a slap to the reader at the end of the story, as Julius is credibly accused of having perpetrated a rape, however, also credibly without remembering it. Gustav Flaubert’s flaneur meets Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr Jerkel and Mr Hyde, thankfully without the Jack the Ripper gore.

Migrant Aesthetics is explicitly dismissive of trauma studies (e.g., pp. 10, 20), which are essential to surviving empire and fighting back. Without empathy, empire gets the last laugh, as nothing is available but fragments of broken human beings and drying bones in the desert, mutilated empathy and mutilated humans. 

While migrant aesthetics (the category not merely the title) “calls out” the distinctions that survivors can also be perpetrators (and vice versa) as well as the distinctions trauma and complex trauma, it stumbles in applying them. More problematically, Migrant Aesthetics   misses the distinction moral trauma, which is an unfortunate oversight. It might have saved Migrant Aesthetics   from simplistic splitting and trying to force a choice between feeling and thinking, positions and persons, truth and empathy.

Though determining the truth remains challenging, even illusive—especially for survivors of violence, war, and trauma—empathy cannot be sustained without a commitment to truth. Thus, the “take down” of war novels that are critical of war (Carpio: 30) misses the moral trauma of soldiers, who are both survivors and perpetrators. Nor is this justification for war crime(s). Some soldiers are put in an impossible situation—they are given a valid military order and innocent people end up getting killed. The solider is now a perpetrator and a survivor. One cannot practice a rigorous and critical empathy without integrity, commitment to truth, commitment to critical thinking, and fact-based inquiry (granted that “facts” are slippery). 

On background, trauma is medically defined at that which causes the person to experience or believe they are in imminent risk of dying or being gravely injured. Rape is on the list of grave injuries. Moral trauma is also on the list and includes such things as the Trolley Car Dilemma; “I will kill you if you do not kill this other person” (different than the Trolley Car); double binds such as those occurring to Isaac and Helen; soul murder such as occurs to Winston at the end of Orwell’s 1984; and seemingly valid military orders that result in unintentional harm to innocent people. In moral trauma people can be both perpetrators and survivors, and become just atht when someone gets hurt who did not need to get hurt. 

Here radical empathy comes into its own. A person is asked to make a decision that no one should have to make. A person is asked to make a decision that no one is entitled to make. A person is asked to make a decision that no one is able to make—and yet the person makes the decision anyway, even if the person does nothing, since doing nothing is a decision. The result is moral trauma—the person is both a perpetrator and a survivor. Now empathize with that. No one said it would be easy. 

When one is hanging by a frayed rope with one’s face to the side of the mountain, every mountain looks pretty much the same, granite gray and cold and like one is going to die or be gravely injured (the definition of trauma). Strictly speaking, the challenge is not only that the would-be empathizer was not with the surviving Other when the survivor experienced the life-threatening trauma, but the survivor her- or himself was there and did not have the experience in such a way as to experience it whole and completely. That may sound strange that the survivor did not experience the experience. That is the definition of “unclaimed” experience (Caruth 1996). The traumatic experience is not the kind of overwhelming, fragmenting experience that one would ever want to experience, so neuro-biological mechanisms were deployed by the mind-body-self to split off, numb, and defend against experiencing the experience. Isaac, Julius, and Yunior have more than their fair share of that. 

Thus trauma survivors report out of body experiences or watching themselves at a distance as the crash occurs or the perpetrator enacts the boundary violation. Or the survivors do not remember what happened or important aspects of it. One is abandoned. Help is not coming—no one is listening. Yet the experience = x keeps coming back in the survivor’s nightmares, flashbacks, or as consciousness flooding anxiety. It comes back as a sense of suffocation, an undifferentiated blackness, or diffuse and flooding fear. The trauma remains split off from the survivor. Yunior’s “The Curse”? The treatment or therapy consists of the survivor re-experiencing the trauma vicariously from a place of safety. In doing so the trauma loses its power and when it returns (as it inevitably does), it does so with less force, eventually becoming a distant unhappy and painful but not overwhelming memory. (See van der Kolk 2014; LaCapra 2001; Leys 2000; Caruth 1995, 1996; Freud 1920.) 

It is precisely the nature of trauma for a person to go through the trauma and yet not be able to grasp, comprehend, or integrate the trauma in their other life experiences. Extreme situations—that threaten death or dismemberment—call forth radical empathy. Standard empathy is challenged by extreme situations out of remote, hard-to-grasp experiences to become radical empathy. As noted, some remote, hard to grasp situations are remote and hard to grasp even for the people who go through the situations and survive them. That the experience is unintegrated and sequestered in a split off part of the personality and corresponding neurological sector is precisely what makes the experience a trauma (van der Kolk 2014; LaCapra 2001; Leys 2000; Caruth 1995, 1996; Freud 1920). Hence, the need for radical empathy. 

Radical empathy is called forth by extreme situations, with which migrant literature is dense, in which radical translation is the bridge between self and Other. Ultimately, radical empathy consists in being fully present with the survivor, acknowledging the survivor’s humanity, and if there are no survivors, as a special case, then radical empathy is with the memory of the victim in the shocked and suffering community – those bones in the Arizona desert over which no one prayed or reflected. Radical empathy acknowledges, witnesses, recognizes, that the survivor will be able to “move on” with life when what had to be survived = x becomes a resource for her or him, in which “resource” means a source of empathy, in which the person is able to be contributed to Others. As regards the victims, those who do not survive, their remembrance becomes the resource, the source of empathy that contributes to the community of Others. 

Thus, the third witness is Junot Diaz. “The Curse”—a major distinction in Diaz—is that one cannot have a standard, “normal” relationship in a history bounded by slavery, exploitation, and ongoing abuse. Survivors of domestic violence can be burdened with Stockholm Syndrome, identification with the aggressor, and related derealization phenomena. Recovery, whether in the form of formal therapy or writerly artistic transfiguration of the trauma—requires that the survivor be relatively safe and not entangled in ongoing perpetrations. The challenge to Diaz and anyone who wants to write criticism about his work is that, as noted, we lack a picture of what a healthy relationship looks like. As an exercise, the reader may try to find an example of a healthy relationship that allows for empathic relatedness in this work. 

With Diaz, migrant aesthetics moves from minimalist writing degree zero to a chorus of voices in one’s head that is Joycean and near manic in its intensity: “Yunior’s hyperbolic and promiscuous narrative style—mixing everything from Dominican Spanish to African American slang to ‘tropical magic realism […] hip-hop machismo, [and] post-modern pyrotechnics’—yields a certain interpretive flexibility in defining the Curse” (Carpio: 165). The reader gets a sense of the toxic gangster rap which the protagonist had to survive and which, to an extent, still obsessively lives on in the practices and performances in his thinking and relating. The voices in his head are a bad neighborhood, and it is tempting to urge, “Don’t go there! You’re gonna get mugged!” Lots of violence. This is trauma writing.

The following is not the truth and consider the possibility (and it applies not only to Diaz): Diaz’s “The Curse” is Medusa’s snake-haired Gorgon—it turns one to stone—literally in the story and emotionally if one is in the audience. It is trauma, complex trauma, moral trauma. Historically it is violence, sexual violence, all kinds of violence, and soul murder, murdering the capacity for empathy. An argument can be made that Diaz, however clumsily and ineptly, is trying to use his art like the mythical Perseus’ magic shield to reflect and refract the complex moral trauma in such a way that it can be mitigated and contained and soothed, even if not disappeared or completely healed. And, in its own way, that is the high art of empathy. 

Migrant Aesthetics (Carpio: 171): “Becoming and falling for Trujillo-like goons are sure signs of the Curse for Dominicans, and Diaz leaves no doubt about its [wide] range …” Examples of intimate partner violence, abuse (domestic violence), and “toxic masculinity,” are called out as that with which the protagonist struggles. On background, Trujillo was the local dictator of the Dominican Republic (1930–1961), who was sustained by US imperialism and corporate money from banana plantations and mining. Hence, the origin of the expression “banana republic.”

Migrant Aesthetics   writes of the protagonist (p. 173): “Yunior identifies his Dominicanness with his experience of the Curse, and that his compulsive promiscuity is a legacy of a long history of colonial misogyny and violence [….] culminates with the story “A cheater’s guide to love.” As noted, Yunior has probably never seen an example of a healthy relationship nor will the reader find one here in Diaz—though obviously Migrant Aesthetics   condemns the violence, misogyny, and so on.

Migrant Aesthetics is at risk. It is fascinated and needs Diaz for the academic distinction “migrant aesthetics.” In its own way, Migrant Aesthetics   becomes another sparrow among sparrows—Ana, Ybón, Lola, La Inca—to the hypnotic attraction of the gangsta snake. These are vulnerable, abused women who are candidates to be trafficked. Such women are in an altered mental status, semi-permanently conditioned by trauma from a young age, and they seem to go for those “bad boys.” No good comes of it. Nor is this necessarily to blame the snake. Even Dale Carnegie, of winning friends and influencing people fame, acknowledges that if your parents were snakes, then you would be a snake too. The snake may have to be quarantined to protect the community, but that does not mean the perpetrator does not need treatment. He does, though he all-too-rarely gets it. 

In summary, it is not a choice between expanding empathy and ending/reducing empire, and an engagement with both is needed. Survivors ask for empathy. When survivors are asked, “What do you want—what would make it better? What would soothe the trauma?” then rarely do they say punish the perpetrator (though sometimes they do). Mostly they ask for acknowledgement, to be heard and believed, to hear the truth about what happened, for apology, accountability, restitution, rehabilitation, prevention of further wrong (see Herman 2023). Rarely do survivors make forgiveness a goal if that would require further interaction with the perpetrator (though self-forgiveness should not be dismissed). It bears repeating: survivors ask for empathy, not an end to empire, though, once again, both are needed. Thus, the utopian false consciousness of survivors and migrant aesthetics?

The final witness in this review is Julie Otsuka’s When the Emperor Was Divine (2002). I was about to write that the internment of over 127K Japanese citizens during World War II was “extra judicial,” but then a colleague pointed out to me that the US Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of the internment camps in the December 1944 Korematsu v. United States decision. This disgraceful decision was rebuked and finally overturned in 2018. Reparations were finally approved in 1988 by the Civil Liberties Act and enacted into law. In spite of its inadequacy to the injustice some forty years later, such a gesture may have created a space in which recognition of wrong, apology, recovery, and healing were imaginable. 

In the face of this disgraceful internment of Japanese citizens during World War II by the US government, Julie Otsuka writes: “I didn’t write this book with an angry screed, and I didn’t want it to be a moralizing book. I just wanted it to be a book people and what they had gone through. I hope it’s an experience that the reader can enter” (cited in Caprio: 135). Sounds like a request for empathy. Amidst the anger and moralizing, which require a committed empathic effort to limit stop from making a bad situation worse, Otsuka’s commitment to empathy shines through. Without empathy, the family’s anger, grief, despair, and longing would read like a railroad time table (when the trains were on strike!). The minimalist language powerfully marshalled by Otsuka—see the above about “writing degree zero”—lets the empathy land powerfully as a gut punch to any reader who has been paying attention. Pets are not allowed in the internment camp, and the mother kills the family dog (p. 135), which it to say the mother kills childhood, innocence, decency, love, kindness, hope, relatedness—and, above all, empathy. Over the entrance to the internment camp is written: “Abandon empathy, all ye who enter here,” which does not mean the narrative lacks empathy or is not about empathy. One is never hungrier for empathy than when it is missing. As noted at the start of this review, empathy is so fundamental an aspect of one’s being human, that lack of empathy can be seen as being inhuman (e.g., Keen 2008: 6; Blankenship 2019: 38).

Notwithstanding the powerful rhetorical empathy marshalled by Otsuka, migrant aesthetics asserts that “stylistic restraint” short-circuits empathy ( Carpio: 135 (regarding “rhetorical empathy” see Blankenship 2019)). Migrant aesthetics aligns empathy with fake “sentimentality” (another name for “empathy” (Carpio: 147)). That does not mean that empathy is not relevant; it means without empathy, humans are physically, emotionally, morally, and spiritually dismembered into fragments of human beings.

 In short, the rumor of empathy remains a rumor in the case of Migrant Aesthetics; the rumor is not confirmed; and empathy does not live in this work. It is where empathy goes to become projection, emotional contagion, and fake empathy. It is where empathy goes to become mutilated empathy like mutilated fragments of human bones in the desert. Don’t go there.

References

Tristam Vivian Adams. (2016). The Psychopath Factory: How Capitalism Organises Empathy. London: Repeater Books.

Lou Agosta. (2010). Empathy in the Context of Philosophy. London: Palgrave Macmillan.

_________. (2014b). From a rumor of empathy to a scandal of empathy in Lipps. In A Rumor of Empathy: Rewriting Empathy in the Context of Philosophy. New York: Palgrave Pivot: 53–65. DOI: 10.1057/978113746534.0007. 

Hannah Arendt. (1964). Im Gespräch mit Günter Gaus (1964): Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVSRJC4KAiE [checked on 10/20/1950]

_____________.. (1968). Between Past and Future. New York: Viking Press.

_____________. (1971). Eichmann in Jerusalem: Report on the Banality of Evil. New York: Viking Press.

Roland Barthes. (1953). Writing Degree Zero. Annette Lavers and Colin Smith (trs.). London: Jonathan Cape, 1967.

________________. (1968). The death of the author, Stephen Heath (tr.). In Image – Music – Text. London: Fontana Press (HarperCollins): 142–148. 

C. Daniel Batson. (2012). The empathy-altruism hypothesis: Issues and implications. In Empathy: From bench to Bedside, Jean Decety (ed.). Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press: 41–54.

Lisa Blankenship. (2019). Changing the Subject: A Theory of Rhetorical Empathy. Logan UT: Utah State University Press.  

Cathy Caruth (ed.). (1995). Trauma: Explorations in Memory. Baltimore: John Hopkins.

Cathy Caruth. (1996). Unclaimed Experience: Trauma, Narrative, and History. Baltimore: John Hopkins.

Ted Cohen. (1999) Jokes: Philosophical Thoughts on Joking Matters. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Sigmund Freud. (1920). Beyond the Pleasure Principle. The Standard Edition of the Psychological Writings of Freud, Vol 18: 1–64.

Michelle Goldberg. (2023). With war in Israel, the cancel culture comes full circle. October 23, 2023. The New York Timeshttps://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/23/opinion/israel-cancel-culture-debate.html [checked on 10/24/2023]

Martin Heidegger. (1927). Being and Time, John Macquarrie and Edward Robinson (trs.). New York: Harper and Row, 1963.

Eric Hoffer. (1951). The True Believer. New York: Random. 

Suzanne Keen. (2007). Empathy and the Novel. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Dominick LaCapra. (1999). Trauma, absence, loss. Critical Inquiry, Summer, 1999, Vol. 25, No. 4 (Summer, 1999): 696–727 

Dominick LaCapra. (2001). Writing History, Writing Trauma. Baltimore: John Hopkins.

Susan Lanzoni. (2018). Empathy: A History. New Haven: Yale University Press.

Stephen Levinson. (1983). Pragmatics. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

Ruth Leys. (2000). Trauma: A Genealogy. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Theodor Lipps. (1903). Aesthetik. Volume I. Hamburg: Leopold Voss.

 _____________. (1909). Leitfaden der Psychologie. Leipzig: Wilhelm Engelman Verlag.

Toni Morrison. (1987). Beloved. New York: Vintage Int.

Namwali Serpall. (2019). The banality of empathy. The New York Reviewhttps://www.nybooks.com/online/2019/03/02/the-banality-of-empathy/?lp_txn_id=1496946  [checked on 10/20/2023].

(Bessel) van der Kolk. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. New York: Viking Press.

Ruth R. Wisse. (2013). No Joke: Making Jewish Humor. Princeton and Oxford: Princeton University Press.

Micah Zenko. (2015). Red Team: How to Succeed by Thinking Like the Enemy. New York: Basic Books.

[1] See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVSRJC4KAiE ; see also Agosta 2010: 70–77.

© Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project

My empathy lessons – in the beginning

My empathy lessons started when I was about four years old. My Mom would tell me bedtime stories. Right before bed, she would weave a narrative out of the significant events of a day in the life of an “on the go,” four-year-old boy. She would make a whole out of my experiences by telling me a story about this imaginary boy—his name was “Doodle Bug.” 

For example, in a favorite story, Doodle Bug would ride his tricycle, and he would go through the park to visit the Indian Chief. He would make a treaty with the Chief. Then he would ride to the bakery. At the bakery he would sample a selection of cookies and cakes. Always the talented young man, Doodle Bug would “stand on his noodle for apple strudel.” 

In the moment, as a four-year-old, this was hilariously funny. I had no idea what apple strudel was, and when I found out a little later, I did not particularly like it. To me, the suspense in the story was palpable. Would the Indian Chief (surely a father figure) be open to a treaty or would hostilities break out as in the cowboy movies that were popular at the time? The rhyme with which the story ended released the suspense in the narrative. It was funny, provoking a laugh, and it brought the story to a satisfying, dramatic close, clearing the way for a soothing transition to sleep. 

This was my Mom’s empathic response to a busy, on the go, growing boy. I acknowledge her for it; and my emotional life and future were richer thanks to her. She took my experiences on a given day, wove them into a nuanced narrative, and gave them back to me as a bedtime story. I recognized the experiences as my own. I recognized that she got who I was for her. Brilliant. I was mesmerized. I was spell bound. I was soothed. I was comforted. I was stimulated (but not too much). This was the empathic moment. 

Mom was tuning down the day as she was tuning up the empathy for me. She was calming down the day as she was also tuning up my empathy for myself. I was empathically transitioned from a busy day to a state of restfulness and readiness for sleep without the anxieties that can sometimes accompany a child at bedtime. 

This was not to say that my childhood was all rainbows and balloons. There were plenty of upsets, too. It is not that I never had anxieties, but, in this case, they were over shadowed by the good stuff. This is a fine example of things going just right for a change; and how empathic responsiveness made a positive difference in one young boy’s life.

Story time—narrative—gives back to the other person his own experience in a way that he can recognize and integrate it. In this case, Mom wove a narrative out of the events of the day, helping her child integrate his experiences. When the other person recognizes his own experience in the story, as I did, then the empathic loop is complete. I got empathy at the end of the day. 

Note that, in this and similar situations, a lot of work has to occur prior to the story. The narrator (Mom, in this case) must have access to the events being woven into the story. Her empathic receptivity, empathic understanding, and empathic interpretation were activated and engaged. I hasten to add that the distinction “empathy” was not made explicit. This was just Mom being Mom—a parent doing here job and getting it just right. 

Therefore, advice to parents: if you want to expand your empathy with your child, and your child’s empathy for her- or himself, have a bed time story. Bring the day to a close in an orderly way. If you can make up a story, so much the better. But not everyone is a natural born storyteller, as my Mom seems to have been. If you want to read a story, that is good, too. Pick something that you think will resonate with the child, or let the child decide what she or he wants. In the case of my daughter, after awhile, I read her whatever she requested. The genius of the “out there” and wholesome sense of humor of Richard Scarry for children of tender age also deserves honorable mention. The point is to have that time together—that, too, is the empathic moment. 

Then when tough times occurred—I do not go into the details since my now grown-up daughter will read this—emerging adults learning how to handle things (and sometimes mishandling things), I went down to dorm and said, “Okay, get your stuff—you are coming home for awhile.” And, low and behold, she listened! She knew I was concerned about her and had her well-being in mind and she listened; and then she got a job for awhile and went back to school a year later. Now flourishing and working on flourishing in ways that were not visible at the time, this is not a fairy tale ending, but is perhaps good enough in this world of helicopter parents, absent parents, and failures to launch.

For those who would like a further inquiry into how empathy is defined – storytelling shows up in many contexts, but when it builds an empathic relationship, storytelling falls under “empathic responsiveness” –

Empathy consists of four parts or dimensions, which, in turn, form the integral whole of authentic relatedness between individuals in community. These four dimensions are receptivity, understanding, interpretation, and responsiveness:

  • Empathic receptivity is the dimension of empathy that consists in being open to the other person’s feelings and experiences. It often presents as a vicarious experience. 
  • Empathic understanding is the dimension of empathy that engages the other person as possibility in his or her humanity. It often presents as possibilities of accomplishment, fulfillment, flourishing.
  • Empathic interpretation is the dimension of empathy that takes a walk “in the other’s shoes,” the part corresponding to the folk definition of empathy. It often presents as shifts in perspective or points of view. 
  • Empathic responsiveness is that dimension of empathy that provides a gracious and generous listening as the source of a response that offers the other person her or his own experience back in a gesture, statement, story, or narrative. It often presents as a short narrative (“micro narrative”) or story, also called “rhetorical empathy.”

These four dimensions of a rigorous and critical empathy go around, but not exactly in a circle. One does not end up exactly where one started; one makes progress—progress up the winding and twisting hairpin curves of the mountain of human understanding. One goes “round the mountain,” ending up at the same coordinates at which one started, but higher up the mountain. Different perspectives open up as one goes up.

Those in the empathic relationship have advanced upward, coming back to where they started, but at a higher level, forming an upward spiral, round the mountain of empathic understanding of other human beings. (See Figure 1.)

Figure 1: How empathy works: The four dimensions of empathy

One can start at any point with any one of these dimensions and, as noted, go “round the mountain,” engaging the other three dimensions, forming the integrated whole that we call “empathy.” One has a different perspective on the relationship, one’s own contribution to it, and the other person’s role. One key empathy lesson that drives this work forward and gets repeated at important points is: the four dimensions of empathy are a coherent whole. All four dimensions of empathy (empathic receptivity, empathic understanding, empathic interpretation, and empathic responsiveness) link to one another in a round trip extending from receptivity to understanding, from understanding to interpretation, from interpretation to response, and back. One can start anywhere in the cycle, and go around covering all the bases and end up back with the distinction with which one started, albeit at a “higher” level. You start with empathy and end up with empathy, expanded and (to shift the directional metaphor) “deepened” empathy in relating to the other person and to the community made up of other persons. 

References

This post is an except from –

Lou Agosta. (2018). Empathy Lessons. Chicago: Two Pears Press: pp. 38 – 42. 

(c) Lou Agosta, PhD and the Chicago Empathy Project